Eye Contact

I really don't think of this as a technique, but rather as a part of natural life. Here is what you can do. Before entering the faculty IRL there is a benefit in making your eyes strong beforehand.

1. Take a piece of paper. Make a dark spot in the middle of the paper and pin it up on the wall in the same height of your eyes. Now stand 2-3 ft. away and fix your eyes on the spot. Remember not to use any force, but let your eyes almost rest on the spot. It is allowed to blink. When you can do this easily and with your eyes relaxed it is safe to move to the next part.

2. Rest your eyes on the spot from the same distance, but now without blinking. When you blink take a short rest and return to practice. Keep doing this exercise, until you can rest your eyes and hold them still without blinking for five minutes.

3. Lower the paper to fit your eyelevel, when you are sitting.

4. Pin the paper to a wall, go about 50 ft. away. Now fix the spot with your eyes and approach the spot. Stop, when you are 1 ft. away.

When you can do this, it is time to make it into a permanent habit. In the beginning you will forget to keep your eyes still on an object, but suddenly remember it again. That is fine. In time the habit will get fixed.

Exprt

This is from David Shade

I asked one woman friend of mine "why did you go out with him?" and she
replied: "because when I looked at
him he kept eye contact with me."

When I recall the very successful people I have had the pleasure of
working for in the corporate world, I remember that they all
maintained eye contact while speaking to me. When you watch somebody
successful being interviewed on TV, like Scott McNealy of Sun, you notice
that they never look away from their interviewer?s eyes and they rarely
blink.

You are approaching a chick in the hall as you walk towards each other.
When should you look at her? (Her eyes, silly. If you look at anything
else, it?s over.) I have tried all combinations. If I wait until the last
instant, I either find she is not looking, or, if she is looking, she
quickly looks away. If I look at her and she looks at me and I look away,
then she never looks again. Then I tried something bold and decide I will
look at her eyes the entire time. To my amazement, she gazes like a deer
into headlights. Never breaks eye contact. So I decide to try this little
experiment.

Recently I spent a week attending meetings in one of our buildings filled
with educated successful professional women in their 20?s and 30?s. Most
are definitely doable. Some are gorgeous. Some are married, some are not.
I spent my time between meetings trying this: I would pick a different
floor and I would walk down each hall, walking just slightly to the right
of center. When I saw a woman walking towards me, I maintained looking at
her eyes. Only the heavy ones did not keep looking. But for all the
others, including the gorgeous ones, they maintained eye contact the
entire time. I never blinked. They never blinked. They broke eye contact
only when we were just about next to each other. I broke eye contact only
after she did. What really amazed me was that by the time we passed,
almost every chick had broken a smile. Some even said "Hi." I did not
smile or say Hi until they first did.

These halls were not long. Each woman was no farther than 30 feet away
when I first saw her. But what if it had been a very long hall? How far
down the hall should I start looking at her eyes? I certainly don?t want
to scare her. I look straight ahead, and then when she is about 30 feet
away, I start looking into her eyes. (Since my original post, I have
dropped that and I now start looking at her from the moment I see her, no
matter how far away. It does not scare the secure ones.)

I then went to the mall a few times to try the experiment there. Most did
not look at all. Of those who did look, most only looked for a second.
Only about a third locked on. Of those, about half broke a smile or said
Hi. A couple of them where so moved that they almost tripped.

Do you have to be walking? I tried the experiment while sitting. Almost
none maintained eye contact. Do they have to be walking? While I was
walking I would look at any chicks who were sitting. The results were the
same as if we were both walking.

If I was approaching two chicks, and looked from one to the other, I lost
them both. So, if I am in such a situation, I lock onto one and I don?t
change my mind. She will lock on.

If I smiled or said Hi, while she was still looking at me, but before she
smiled or said Hi, it would usually result in my loosing her. On rare
instances did it make her smile and say Hi with enthusiasm. So, I never
smile or say Hi until she first does so, and I smile if she smiles and
say Hi if she says Hi.

If she did not lock eye contact with me, I would go ahead and say Hi when
she got close to me. In many instances she would then enthusiastically
turn to me and smile and say Hi.

I would also look at chicks who were with a man if he was not looking in
my general direction. I was surprised at the number of times that she
would lock on and actually smile.

David Shade

I've been trying to make more eye contact lately. There is this girl I know that is pretty attractive but I'm not really interested in her because of how she acts when I talk to her. She always seems like she is faking interest when I talk to her and that bugs me.

The last time I saw her I tried to be playful and tease her and make direct eye contact and she looks at me differently, she even smiled at me a lot. It was very strange, it opened her up...It was like she was actually enjoying the exchange. We didn't really have a conversation it was just a few quips here and there because I was busy mingling with other people at the party. I think eye contact helps a lot though. It says you don't intimidate me, I think.

Eye contact can be really tought - but it is amazing. I've really been using it lately with great results.

Speaking of eye contact, watch my friend in action. He taught me all about the soft open - and how to establish rapport before you even talk to a girl, making a cold approach a warm approach. Amazing stuff.

unbreakable Confidence and Game

Bill