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  1. #1
    sakim is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How to deal with a person who doesn't communicate

    Sorry long post.

    I'm 23M/she's 21F. Had really fun first two dates with this girl, a coworker. Movies/cafe, and then went for dinner the 2nd time. She kind of initiated the first date when she asked me if I've seen the movie Beauty and the Beast (which is as random as it gets for me) since I didn't even know it came out. Asked her out the next day to see it, she says yes. Had a great time, with lots of laughs. A couple weeks later (Feb 7) we went for dinner and again, had a great time as it was a restaurant she's been hearing good things about. One thing I noticed though, she didn't want to be kissed on the lips afterwards. She said she wanted to be kissed on the cheeks, so I just went with it, then she kissed me as well. Oh well...

    So I set up our next date for that weekend but I got sick, and actually thought it was too soon to see her. So I cancelled it the day before, told her I was sick (I was). I then asked her if she's available the next weekend (Feb 16/17), she said she'd let me know. Next time I saw her at work, I asked her what her schedule was and she says she's working the 16th so she asked me to if we could do 17th or 18th because it was her friend's bday, which they're not sure when they were doing. She says she'd let me know. I said OK. So Thursday (Feb 16) I asked her if they figured out when she's hanging out with friends, she says they're doing the bday on the 18th, so I assumed we're hanging out on the 17th. "Oh, OK... so are you good for tomorrow then?" She just says "Maybe..." in a slow voice without stating any reason.

    I said "disappointing" in a joking way. She says "maybe we could do Sunday then?" I just said sure...

    Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but I didn't make any plans this weekend because I thought we were hanging out and that if she wasn't sure or feeling under the weather, she'd at least let me know ahead of time. Instead of me having to ask her all the time, having to confirm stuff.

    It's amazing though how sometimes at work, she doesn't show any signs of disinterest and was actually really concerned when I was sick.

  2. #2
    OOKĖ's Avatar
    OOKĖ is offline PUA Forums Moderator
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    Default Re: How to deal with a person who doesn't communicate

    Okay, so I typed a very long reply, then accidentally closed out of Chrome lol.

    To summarize what I was going to submit (this will be better actually)...



    If she's not shy, it sounds like she has ASD.

    She's attracted to you, and wants to be in a relationship with you. However, she want's to make sure she's treated well, and isn't being used.

    Picking up a girl with ASD can take longer, but is usually always worth it in the end.

    FOR THIS. You MUST build rapport! A lot of rapport!

    Attraction is there, but she won't feel comfortable going further until she's comfortable with you, and knows you very well.

    Girls like this usually want an LTR. If an LTR is what you want, then you will get it with this girl.

  3. #3
    sakim is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to deal with a person who doesn't communicate

    Thanks man. Was going to 'give up' but then that's AFC-stuff! Thanks for your input. Will definitely start building rapport!

  4. #4
    OOKĖ's Avatar
    OOKĖ is offline PUA Forums Moderator
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    Default Re: How to deal with a person who doesn't communicate

    Quote Originally Posted by sakim View Post
    Thanks man. Was going to 'give up' but then that's AFC-stuff! Thanks for your input. Will definitely start building rapport!

    Exactly! There is no such thing as giving up here. ASD only works on AFC's mate, but not PUA's


    Glad to be of help, Let us know how it goes.... eh?

  5. #5
    sakim is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to deal with a person who doesn't communicate

    Haha, one thing though... I cancelled our supposed 'hang out' yesterday because I'm double booked. I did tell her about it at work. She's going out of town 'til Friday so I won't see her til then. Should I build rapport through text?

  6. #6
    OOKĖ's Avatar
    OOKĖ is offline PUA Forums Moderator
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    Default Re: How to deal with a person who doesn't communicate

    Yes! You can certainly build it through text. Just remember not to text instantaneously, as that will come accross as AFC, and needy.

    Text about every hour or so

  7. #7
    sakim is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to deal with a person who doesn't communicate

    We actually don't even text often. Whenever we talk or I ask her out, it's always been at work. Been getting mixed feelings from her, really. She'd seem excited to see me, yet sometimes don't acknowledge me. lol

  8. #8
    sakim is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to deal with a person who doesn't communicate

    So I've been getting loads of IOI's from her and we were gonna go out tonight for drinks but she reschedules for tomorrow because her roommate "needs" her.

    How should I approach this? I don't exactly wanna be a doormat, and I don't like being an option or just a second thought. I was gonna say I'm busy tomorrow.

  9. #9
    OOKĖ's Avatar
    OOKĖ is offline PUA Forums Moderator
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    Default Re: How to deal with a person who doesn't communicate

    Hey man, got your PM


    So since she's giving you loads of IOI's, and had a set date with you for drinks; she probably is not intentionally flaking on you.


    Best thing you can do in this scenario is to show her DHV with your schedule...

    (Exactly like you have said "I was gonna say I'm busy tomorrow." Yes! do that)

    ...but also let her know that you understand her situation (after all, we would flake with any HB to go help a friend in need).

    As for re-scheduling:

    Tell her that you're pretty busy, that you'll try to find another time to re-schedual, and you'll let her know when you find that time.

    In combination with your first quote....


    Let her know that your busy tomorrow, but you'll look in to rescheduling, and get back to her.

    Being that she knows you had to find time, and arrange your schedule to go out with her somewhere, she'll treat the the date more like gold, because she knows you don't have freetime whenever she wants it (and she knows she can't doormat you whenever she wants).
    Always feel free to PM me

  10. #10
    sakim is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to deal with a person who doesn't communicate

    Thanks a lot man. Always great at this. Building rapport through text and in person was a great advice because it actually worked.

    OK, I did text her to say I'm busy and she was eager to reschedule it. She even thought I was mad. I'll see her at work tomorrow and tell her I'd find time.


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