Well, I wasn't quite sure where to put this, but I think a lot of beginners/AFCs can relate to this, and I'd appreciate some words of advice or something.
Any way, so I met the girl through a dating site (probably my first mistake), and the first time we hung out I went over to her friends house for a small party, and we ended up getting along great and making out. Like 2 weeks later she invited me to her friend's birthday party and we ended up making out again, got along great. Third time (4 weeks later), she invited me to another friends bday party, same results. Each of these times we ended up drinking, heavily, and making out. I have tried to ask her out many many times on a sober date, but she ALWAYS had some excuse, why she couldn't go. And when we did set something up, she flaked out the day before, she said she was nervous/ wanted to do a group thing, but her friends were busy, etc.
I texted her the other day to set something up again, and she told me that, I don't want to lead you on and not looking for anything serious, bla bla, bla. Obviously I'm not gonna try anything else with her.
I wasn't really looking to get into a relationship with her, I just wanted to hook up with her. I think my major problem was either not escalating quickly enough (we both live at home), not creating a real connection, or being to NICE (whenever we texted, we really just made small talk, though we talked a lot). I seem to have this problem with a lot of girls, I'm to nice. I think girls assume I want a relationship immediately, but I don't know what it is that I do that makes them think this!
I'm not really upset, more confused. I want to get over this sticking point ASAP. I don't want to be an as5h0le, but I'm sick of getting stepped on.
Throw me so words of wisdom!
BTW, I'm going to go day gaming tomorrow to bounce back quickly