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  1. #1
    SonnyCurtis is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Girls calls her BF while talking to me

    Hi, I'm a soph in college, not a lot of experience with girls. I have some personal issues I've been working through, and as I've worked through them I've been interacting with more girls.

    There's this one girl who is in 2 of my classes. She has a boyfriend. I've been taking things pretty casually with her, just trying to keep my energy up and positive, joke with her, tease her, etc. My main worry is that I'm headed for the friend zone.

    So today we're on our way walking to our next class together. Half-way there she pulls out her phone, she has a missed call from her BF so she calls him right then and there while walking with me. I'm like, woh, seriously? I feel like a chump for a sec then I realize I'm gonna just bust her balls hard for it. She finally hangs up and I'm like "is that your dad or something?" Cus she was talking about grades and sh1t. Then she's like "haha nah it was my BF, he wouldn't stop talking". I playfully push her away a bit and say "yeah you're supposed to be talking to me". Probably coulda busted her harder for being so rude but I at least called her out on it.

    She's like ya sorry I felt bad. She starts explaining that he's the jealous type, she woulda told him she was walking with her friend but then he'd start asking questions. So I wonder if he's actually the jealous type or if she's just worried that he actually has something to be jealous about - because this girl is into me and sees me as a potential lay. She also explains that he will be moving north in 4 weeks, hmm... Good information for me to know. Maybe she told me that for a reason.

    So my questions here - was this is a sh1t test, or am I possibly friendzoned with this chick? I think it was the former, even if it wasn't exactly deliberate on her part. Secondly, did I handle it alright? I shoulda busted her balls harder but at least I called her out on it. And the jealous comment - if she saw me as innocuous would she even have brought that up?

  2. #2
    Kit J is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girls calls her BF while talking to me

    It's hard to say without more information, but the fact that she's so open about having a boyfriend makes me think she probably only views you as a friend. What kind of IOI's are you getting from her?

  3. #3
    SonnyCurtis is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girls calls her BF while talking to me

    BF usually doesn't come into play when I'm with her, that's why I was shocked when she made that call. She brought him up once when we started hanging out more, and then this was the second time he's come up. IDK but to me the first time seemed like the token "well I told him so it's not my fault he's flirting with me". Second time I dunno that's why I posted this thread, but I'm inclined to believe it was a sh1t test.

    IOIs - nothing huge but hey. I used to see her sporadically we would always just say hey, I manned up and started talking to her more and more. She says "you're such an asshole" while smiling/giving me the "I can't believe you just said that" look. She looks outta the corner of her eye at me when she comes into class then looks away real quick, then comes and sits with me. Just generally laughing at my sh1t and a little flirting back and forth. She seemed responsive to kino, I had neglected that part for a bit but finally stepped it up. Yesterday, a day after the BF thing went down she approached me while I was with my friends, tapped me on the shoulder and said see you tomorrow. Yeah no big deal right? But this whole time I've been doing all the work initiating etc. First time she's really touched me too which makes sense since I just broke that barrier.

    I'm just gonna stay confident and go with the "she likes me" approach. Seems to net the best results, even if I'm wrong. My problem in the past was I would give up WAY too easily, and then later find out I hadn't messed up at all. So now my modus operandi is pursue, pursue, pursue until I get a clear rejection. This chick has made me do a lot of the work. Yet she seems responsive to it. It's like, she knows she shouldn't be flirting with me and stuff but as long as I'm initiating it she can justify it because it's "my fault".

    I need to manage my emotions though. I'm hanging out more with this chick and I'm starting to get invested in the outcome. Hence the essay here, lol. If sh1t doesn't work out I gotta be able to move on no big deal.

  4. #4
    SonnyCurtis is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girls calls her BF while talking to me

    Chick was kinda cold to me yesterday. Didn't feel it at all. When I tried to talk to her in class she would make like a "1 second" sign, keep taking notes, then listen to me like a few seconds later. Not a good sign. I gave her a look like wtf before I told her what I had to say. Looks like I'm friend zoned or she's playing some kind of stupid games. Either way I'm gonna ice her out a couple days, stop pursuing her and see how she responds. Either she comes crawling back or she ignores me. Her response will tell me what I need to know.

  5. #5
    EMSaenz's Avatar
    EMSaenz is offline PUA With Mad Respect
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    Default Re: Girls calls her BF while talking to me

    If you're going after an attached woman, you're going to have to accept some criss cross situations to occur. She probably still has feelings for the guy or is trying to drop him softly. Give her room and time, but let her know you want more than just friendship. Keep up the kino and ask her out. You only have a small window of opportunity, and girls won't wait too long.

    Lots of women grow cold at least once a month. It's called a Period. If I'm into some HB and suddenly she grows cold on me for a few days, I mark the days on my calendar to see if it happens again the following month. If she stays cold, then I dropped the ball some where. I'll analyse my game to find my mistakes and errors.

    My suggestion is: be patient, but don't give up.

  6. #6
    AstroBoy is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girls calls her BF while talking to me

    Quote Originally Posted by EMSaenz View Post
    If you're going after an attached woman, you're going to have to accept some criss cross situations to occur. She probably still has feelings for the guy or is trying to drop him softly. Give her room and time, but let her know you want more than just friendship. Keep up the kino and ask her out. You only have a small window of opportunity, and girls won't wait too long.

    Lots of women grow cold at least once a month. It's called a Period. If I'm into some HB and suddenly she grows cold on me for a few days, I mark the days on my calendar to see if it happens again the following month. If she stays cold, then I dropped the ball some where. I'll analyse my game to find my mistakes and errors.

    My suggestion is: be patient, but don't give up.

    BEST ADVICE MAN! This is such good quality advice, apply this to your situation and continue my friend! I'm seconding this!
    We are limited only by our creativity.

  7. #7
    SonnyCurtis is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girls calls her BF while talking to me

    I was eating with a friend today, made EC with this girl but I just kinda looked away and kept talking. Couple minutes later she comes up behind me "you know we have class in like 10 minutes right?" playfully/flirty like. I'm just like "ya do you?" and then resume talking to my friend. I got two classes back to back with her, I kinda just ignored her the first class which isn't too unusual since we sit far apart. Second class we normally sit together but I just kinda hung in the back of the room. She left early, saw me on the way out and was like "hey...", and then "bye..."

    Basically I just wanted to make myself less available. Give her a little time and room as well. Initially I was doing all the pursuing but now I think I've been making myself too available, perhaps looking a bit needy/clingy. Hopefully this does the trick. I want her to see that I'm not just her little lap dog who's gonna follow her around and pursue her regardless of her level of reciprocity. Monday I see her again, I plan to feel her out and escalate some more then. Slow but steady is the plan.

    Thanks for the advice guys, we'll see how this goes next week.

  8. #8
    SonnyCurtis is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girls calls her BF while talking to me

    Chalk this one up as a loss. Chick used to seem excited to see me but now it just seems routine. Definitely think I got friend zoned somewhere along the line. It's okay good practice.

  9. #9
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    SiliconMagician is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girls calls her BF while talking to me

    Kino, Kino, Kino!

    It is the key to everything. No matter what she says, no matter how many times you push/pull, give her space. Nothing matters compared to Kino. You can be in the friends zone for years and pull it out if you know how to effectively use Kino escalation.

    In none of these posts have heard any mention of Kino. Are you touching her?

    Kino is the single most important pickup tool any PUA can have because its 90% body language. Don't TELL a girl you like her, show her through kino escalation.

    My escalation technique is simple: Wrist, then elbow, then shoulder, then the back between the shoulder blades, then the lower back. By the time I get to this point the touches are no longer touches but a light rubbing. Like a gentle massage or back scratching. It is perfectly okay to touch a woman socially in such a way. They enjoy it. Finally move to the knee and leg. You have to calibrate her reaction to your kino. If she tenses up or pulls away, then back off a bit.. but if she shows no reaction at all and remains relaxed at your touch, or shows positive reciprocation, then advance to the next level of kino. The level of pressure you put on is key. You want to touch her confidently and firmly in some instances, and in others you want to lightly and slowly tickle her and give her goosebumps.

    Rely less on verbal "game" and push/pull tricks and rely more on Kino to do your speaking for you. I disagree with the "Tell her you want to be more than friends." I would never verbalize such thing until the sex has already occurred.

    Instead, invite her to just "hang out" at a nice local watering hole. If she gives resistance about being "just friends", laugh it off and say something like "What are we now? Enemies?", etc and basically blow off her concerns that you are hitting on her.

    Then sit and LISTEN to her, establish verbal rapport and get that kino going. Everytime she laughs, Touch her! It "locks in" an association in her mind between your touch and her good feelings. The final step, is the rubbing of the nape of the neck where the hairline recedes. This is extremely sensitive and erotic zone that is easily accessible and if you escalated correctly before you know it you are giving her a backrub in your dorm room and you escalate to kissing the neck. Hell my first kiss on a woman is almost never on her lips. It is on the sides and back of her neck.

    I could write an entire article on the million and one ways to use Kino and nothing but "fluff" conversation to get the girl. I remember one pickup I made a chick had just gone to the bar to drink herself silly after a huge fight with her boyfriend. At the end of the night in my bed she was simply uncomprehending at how she went from an innocent drink in a bar to fucking some strange guy she just met, and it all had to do with kino. The ENTIRE conversation was about her boyfriend and yet even while she's talking about him I'm escalating and before an hour was up she was "I don't know why I feel this way but I feel like I've known you my entire life." that is because my touching made her feel extremely comfortable in my presence.

    This in no way guarantees she'll want to be your girlfriend, but it DOES lead to the lay, which is the first crucial step. I've found that getting laid is EASY. It's keeping them after you get laid that becomes difficult.
    Last edited by SiliconMagician; 04-02-2012 at 07:23 PM.


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