This is my first time back into the PUA community after several years away from active posting/lurking. I learned what needed to be learned and put it to practice and haven't had to look back. But now things are growing beyond my control in a few key areas so I thought I would return and seek some advice.
I have hit a rut where virtually all the women I'm actively sexualizing with keep putting me in this hybrid "Friends with Benefits Zone". In short, I'm frustrated because the really attractive women refuse to seek any kind of monogamous, committed relationship with me. They come to me and whine and cry about their asshole boyfriends, just like they do to their AFC male friends, but because I'm not an AFC and actually know how to kino escalate and power through LMR, I get the lay every time they come around. I've screwed virtually every female friend I have at least once.
But once they have thier emotional and sexual validation, they almost immediately go back to the same self destructive relationship they came to me over in the first place. Most of the time this isn't a problem because I'm not interested for various reasons in most girls as a girlfriend. But every once in awhile I meet a girl I'm really compatible with and enjoy and want to take things to a higher level and they absolutely refuse to do so. I keep getting the same lame excuses over and over again about wanting to be a free woman, or some other emotional "I'm not ready" bull. yeah, they aren't ready until they meet the next thug in the club.
I'm tired of being an on call backup plan for women angry at the their boyfriends, or rebounding and wanting nothing from me except some emotional support and a few weeks of good sex before they move some drug dealing ex con into their home who they barely know just because he went homeless and they feel the need to "fix" them.
I discussed this problem with some of my non-sexual female friends and most of them insist that the problem is that I'm a fully independent, self sustaining man with a decent career, his own home, etc etc and therefore I'm not any fun for a girl in the long term because there is nothing to "fix" or "tame". They tell me that basically its better to be broke and homeless in many cases because then women will want to "fix" me.
I'd rather die than put myself at the mercy of a woman looking to make me dependent on her to "fix" me.
There are two girls in particular who I've been screwing regularly for over a year and both of them are otherwise wonderful women who just can't give up the bad boyfriends and care about something that is good for them. They love to have sex with me, but only on their terms, when they feel the need to have the ego boost and validation and I'm sick of that.
No easy solution presents itself that doesn't come across as beta AFC whining. The one rule of Alpha is you never verbalize your bad feelings no matter how it might suck. I freeze them out all the time but they always manage to come crawling back, cooing and apologizing for being so stupid that such a great guy was right in front of them, I play the cool, uncaring Alpha male just out for his own needs, and then we screw a few weeks and then they disappear and get with the next thug they feel the need to "fix". I understand fully WHY they do this, but that doesn't make it easier on me when the girl in question is particularly attractive to me for whatever reason.
Another problem that presents itself is that all of these women refuse to allow me into their social circles. They keep me separate and apart and none of their friends or boyfriends know I exist and all attempts by me to insert into their social circle have met with failure. It is like they want to selfishly keep me a dirty secret only they know about and can use whenever they like.
How can I break this pattern? Nothing "PUAish" seems to work on these freaks. I'm the prize no doubt, I'm just always relegated to the consolation prize rather than the gold medal prize when its the lame thug boyz who should be on the back burner. Calling them out on thier bullshit never works, they just uncaringly shrug and say that I'm nice and all but they want to have their freedom to do WTF they want, until the next thug comes along and then suddenly that want of freedom evaporates in a minute.
I COULD have relationships, I've had plenty of women try, but they are always the dumpy 6's and 7's I picked up in a drunken stupor in a bar somewhere and are not attractive other than with beer goggles on and I have to let them down but I feel that the 8-9's are doing the exact same thing to me.
Any advice on how to get these 8's-9's to stop acting like God's gift to men and start seeing me as a viable relationship option over the destructive relationships they seem to prefer? How do I set boundaries with them without coming across as an AFC beta male just whining to her and turn them off completely? After all, non-attached sex is better than nothing, but it leaves much to be desired. I want that bed-rocking, regular sex that comes with a emotional attachment from a woman rather than an odd encounter every week or two with whatever girl happens to be mad at her boyfriend that month or whatever odd woman I pick up in a bar for an ONS or 2 day Lay.
It has gotten to the point that I cannot trust what women say to me because their actions always betray the lies they try feed me. So I bite my tongue, pretend I'm good with being their cuddle buddy in order to get the sex and fully well realize they are going to be gone in a couple weeks. It sucks because it has been over 3 years since I've had sex without a condom on and I would like to get a regular monogamous relationship going so I can pull off the damn rubber for once and get some bareback action going.