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Thread: Did I Totally Screw up....

  1. #1
    rc498 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Did I Totally Screw up....

    Met a girl on POF, hit it off right away, our families are 100% alike, we have a lot in common and we talked forever, i know not a good thing, but for basically three weeks we talked non stop, she kept telling me to meet her but i kept it cool and i met her just on sunday, went out to eat, things went decent, but i noticed she seemed less interested the next day and was back on the dating site, Well i didn't talk to her all day and stupidly i got drunk and said some stupid crap to her, i cant remember exactly but being a jerk stuff like you disappoint me blah blah blah, and she said im done, i thought she was kidding but she was 100% serious. she said she was mad at me and I said ok so we wont talk anymore, she then said i dont want that we can be friends but i dont wanna date you... so am i screwed here. I want to regain her interest so i can at least get her on a second date without acting like a chump? any help appreciated

  2. #2
    SiliconMagician's Avatar
    SiliconMagician is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Did I Totally Screw up....

    Quote Originally Posted by rc498 View Post
    Met a girl on POF, hit it off right away, our families are 100% alike, we have a lot in common and we talked forever, i know not a good thing, but for basically three weeks we talked non stop, she kept telling me to meet her but i kept it cool and i met her just on sunday, went out to eat, things went decent, but i noticed she seemed less interested the next day and was back on the dating site, Well i didn't talk to her all day and stupidly i got drunk and said some stupid crap to her, i cant remember exactly but being a jerk stuff like you disappoint me blah blah blah, and she said im done, i thought she was kidding but she was 100% serious. she said she was mad at me and I said ok so we wont talk anymore, she then said i dont want that we can be friends but i dont wanna date you... so am i screwed here. I want to regain her interest so i can at least get her on a second date without acting like a chump? any help appreciated
    Being a 2 year POF veteran who averages 2-3 meetings a month. Let me offer you some advice:

    #1)Never, ever take a POF chick seriously. They lie through their teeth. They like the attention they get from all the guys on that site and it becomes like a drug. They will continue to use that site even when dating someone because they are always looking for the next best thing. 90% of the chicks on POF are as worthless as a used tampon. It makes many women think they have far far more social value than they otherwise would be worth. This is why so many say "i'm tired of the bar scene" that is because they are sick of going out and watching their hotter, more outgoing friends getting all the attention and they sit there stirring a martini and sighing wondering why "Mr. Right" isn't flowing into her life. It is because most of them have the Social Value of a slug.

    #2)Screw that chick. She's gone. You blew it, but that is okay. It's POF there about a billion chicks out there on it. If you are not getting a lot of responses, then the problem is with your profile and the pics you put on there. At any one time I'm actively talking to meeting/screwing 4-6 women. It is literally a gold mine if you play it with the right mindset which is. "She's a POF whore unless proven otherwise."

    #3)The average lifespan of any "relationship" I've had on that site never broke 6 weeks. POF is not the place to meet girlfriends, it is where you meet quick and easy lays.

    Don't be fooled by all the hype that Online Dating is the wave of the future. It is not. It is a crap way to meet anyone decent IMO. If you want a steady girlfriend, you absolutely have to get out there and meet them in person where they feel the full effect and weight of your personality and game right away and where she is with her friends so that you can become a direct part of her social circle rather than just an outlier who she screws once a week or so.

    The problem with POF is that other than dating her on occasion you are not a part of her regular social circle. She doesn't want you to be a part of her social circle. The fact that she met you on POF is an embarrassment for her. You are a shame to her. So the best thing to do is just enjoy the time you get with each of them while it lasts and never take it seriously and absolutely expect them, by default, to be gone within 4-6 weeks. That is the average it takes for a woman to meet another guy and move on.

    Also, don't try to play hard to get. Get the meeting on within 1-2 weeks at maximum. Remember you are on a time clock here before the next asshole comes along. So hurry up, meet them, run your game, screw them and move on.

    Oh, and don't take them out the eat. Meet them in a bar where you can buy them a couple drinks and they relax. Lunch/Dinner dates are boring as hell for them and it doesn't allow you the opportunity to get truly close to them to use Kino and other techniques. Get them to a bar, sit next to them, run your game.
    Last edited by SiliconMagician; 04-04-2012 at 04:25 PM.

  3. #3
    thisisSPARTAAAA's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I Totally Screw up....

    Agree with Silicon. Only thing I ever got out of okcupid, POF, Datehookup, etc... were 2-3 week relationships. But in any case, yeah, you screwed up in a HUGE way. First of all, on these sites, there's no need to "play it cool" and wait 3 weeks to see her. This is because since you both are on this site, it is already obvious that you both want to go on a nice date. So in the future, meet up with them as soon as possible; I would say within 1 or 2 conversations via IM or within 2 days of regular messaging. She disappointed you because you disappointed her. You should have arranged the meeting faster, and made it a real date with all the bells and whistles. Pick her up; take her to a nice restaurant, make out in the movie theatre, make out again in the park at night. So you thought you were "playing it cool" but she thought you were a wimp and there was no chemistry. Do NOT "play it cool" again when meeting women online! And I don't think anyone has to tell you why it was wrong for you to drunk call her and talk trash to each other LOL

  4. #4
    SiliconMagician's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I Totally Screw up....

    Quote Originally Posted by thisisSPARTAAAA View Post
    Agree with Silicon. Only thing I ever got out of okcupid, POF, Datehookup, etc... were 2-3 week relationships. But in any case, yeah, you screwed up in a HUGE way. First of all, on these sites, there's no need to "play it cool" and wait 3 weeks to see her. This is because since you both are on this site, it is already obvious that you both want to go on a nice date. So in the future, meet up with them as soon as possible; I would say within 1 or 2 conversations via IM or within 2 days of regular messaging. She disappointed you because you disappointed her. You should have arranged the meeting faster, and made it a real date with all the bells and whistles. Pick her up; take her to a nice restaurant, make out in the movie theatre, make out again in the park at night. So you thought you were "playing it cool" but she thought you were a wimp and there was no chemistry. Do NOT "play it cool" again when meeting women online! And I don't think anyone has to tell you why it was wrong for you to drunk call her and talk trash to each other LOL
    You really take them out on dates with all the bells and whistles? I did that at first and while it was effective, I found just getting them into a local bar works just as well and is way way cheaper. I have to operate on a very shoestring dating budget because my job isn't exactly high paying and I'm always seeing at least 2-4 women at any one time and that many dates adds up to a huge expense, even with cheap dates it can add up to a couple hundred or more month in dating expenses which to me is a pretty large expense considering my monthly budget and salary, and the fact that I like to buy and wear expensive clothes

    LOL I remember once I met a woman in a UDF for milkshakes and was making out with her right at the table within about 10 minutes of meeting. Total Date cost 10 bucks.

  5. #5
    thisisSPARTAAAA's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I Totally Screw up....

    Yeah, dudes have ripped on me before for spending so much money. I like impressing a girl; I cooked a 4-pound lobster for a chick once. Bought it live and cooked it Chinese restaurant style (dismembered, sauced up, and fired). Just the ingredients at the supermarket to make that dish cost me like $100 (I added extra large scallops and other good things). But she gossiped and bragged about it, making everyone in that circle know that I do dates right. Yeah, there are cheaper ways to get laid; hell, you can make out with multiple women at clubs for just the entrance fee (which is free if you get there early LOL) and maybe take one home. But I'm old fashioned and like to save my money for big dates and really pack a punch.

    But the main point is not the expense. For POF the main thing is meeting her quickly and getting the chemistry bubbling fast. Do NOT do any friendly, light semi-dates; she will interpret that as you being a wimp and there being no spark.

  6. #6
    SiliconMagician's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I Totally Screw up....

    Quote Originally Posted by thisisSPARTAAAA View Post
    Yeah, dudes have ripped on me before for spending so much money. I like impressing a girl; I cooked a 4-pound lobster for a chick once. Bought it live and cooked it Chinese restaurant style (dismembered, sauced up, and fired). Just the ingredients at the supermarket to make that dish cost me like $100 (I added extra large scallops and other good things). But she gossiped and bragged about it, making everyone in that circle know that I do dates right. Yeah, there are cheaper ways to get laid; hell, you can make out with multiple women at clubs for just the entrance fee (which is free if you get there early LOL) and maybe take one home. But I'm old fashioned and like to save my money for big dates and really pack a punch.
    Yeah, I love cooking for women too. I almost never sleep with a woman on the first night I meet. My Day 2 "Lay date" is usually to bring them over to the house and cook for them, although I have to say I never cooked a full lobster!

    I'm going to consider this option next time. I'm going to have to go out and pick up a cookbook on international cooking. Thanks for the share.

  7. #7
    thisisSPARTAAAA's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I Totally Screw up....

    Ohhh ho ho! A fellow chef! Yes, lobster is very impressive. But don't just boil it whole. Cut it up, fried the pieces with sauce, and plate them in a creative way! I also do Korean BBQ short ribs and deep fried soft-shell crab. Another dish uses only the tail of a Caribbean, Australian or South African lobster split open and stuffed with blue crab meat/avocado stuffing. I call these 4 my lady-killers. I told a girl that they were called such and she said that the soft-shelled crab is a lady-atomic weapon! LOL

    I also do not prefer girls to give it up too easily because success feels much better when you've worked hard for it. But also, the easy ones have std's.

  8. #8
    SiliconMagician's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did I Totally Screw up....

    Quote Originally Posted by thisisSPARTAAAA View Post
    I also do not prefer girls to give it up too easily because success feels much better when you've worked hard for it. But also, the easy ones have std's.
    LMAO No shit on that one. I haven't been able to have bareback sex with a woman in 3 years. One of the reasons I'm trying to change my game up to a more "relationship oriented" game rather than going for the quick lay. I want to find a monogamous relationship. 5 years is long enough without an LTR IMO.


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