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  1. #1
    adamw5963 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Is the girl starting to flake?

    I've been talking to this girl on pof for the past week. She couldn't go out this past weekend because she had her kids. So she said she could this weekend. We plan on going hiking because she likes scenic photography. She started saying today that her allergies were killing her. I don't know if I should comfort her or what because I know that can be afc since I'm not her bf or anything. Here is the conversation today.

    HB: Yea i guess.....sorry it has been hectic here. what you been up to?

    Me: Not much just won the lottery!! Haha nah its been pretty hectic here
    too with class starting back How was your weekend other than being

    HB: Okay I guess my allergies and sinuses are kicking my ass and I feel
    like my head is going to explode....but hey that isn't too bad right

    Me: Ah I sorry. I'm with you on the allergies. I'm getting my ass kicked too. But it isnt too bad just annoying as hell!! I do believe the rain would help what ya think?

    HB: I think so too but I am miserable ugh

    So should I say I'm sorry again and try to comfort her or what?

  2. #2
    thisisSPARTAAAA's Avatar
    thisisSPARTAAAA is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Is the girl starting to flake?

    No, things are going fine. Don't comfort her or say sorry; what gave you an idea to apologize for her allergies? Just wait it out and pick things back up when she feels better again. Totally believable that a girl would not want you to see her with blood-shot eyes and snot dripping out. A mistake that lots of guys make is to think that if a girl makes an excuse to drop a date, she's flaking. Oftentimes, she's got real problems, like allergies, illness, or her period is killing her, etc... She'll probably say, "I can't this weekend; got lots of school work" instead of an honest, "I've got menstrual cramps and I drip blood every 15 minutes" and may cause guys to lose heart and think they are being rejected. Just hang in there; nothing worse than misinterpreting something as reject and thus rejecting yourself. On the other hand, even if it's a real rejection, ask her out a few more times to confirm, and if it is, then easy come, easy go; next!

    Short anecdote: I once met a girl at a party, got her number, and asked her out. She didn't respond. I waited a week and text-chatted her again. Responses went well until I asked her out again. She didn't respond. I waited another 2 weeks before contacting her again, asking her out. She refused. On the night I was cleaning out my phone contacts, I was ready to delete her number cus she flaked 3 times, but thought, what the heck; give it 1 more call. She agreed to meet me that night for yogurt. I took her to a club, took her home, and went down on her. She was a church girl and gave her virginity up in the following 2 weeks to me (staying celibate for 2 years with her ex). But as we were chatting one day, I asked her why she flaked on me 3 times and she gave me an unbelievable response. She said she liked me so much that she was ashamed to meet me in her current physical condition so needed a month in the gym to get thin (I thought she was fine as she was) before she could go out with me!!! That conversation forever changed my view of the rejection. When a girl turns us down for a date, we think she's a flake and didn't want to see us, simple as that. But this taught me that the inner workings of women are truly too complex for men to predict accurately. You could be doing swell but think you're being rejected. You could be doing tons of damage and think you're not even inflicting a scratch! My advice: HANG IN THERE!!!

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