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  1. #1
    AmateurPlayer is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need help with nailing my crush

    First off.. Hi guys this is my first post. I generally don't post threads. I just read and assimilate the forums. But supposedly I have to post a reply or post a thread to keep this account from getting deleted. So I decided.. why not start a thread stating my problem.

    So I like this girl(actually a woman) in class who is like 10 years older than me(I'm 23). I really like her cause her personality attracts me a lot. Also she sports a classic look which is very unique from rest of the crowed. I have interacted with her for a month now (luckily I was paired up with her for lab projects, we sit next to each other). Talked with her a lot in the process and got to know a lot about her and she seems really interesting.

    I'm sure she isn't married, but I don't know for sure whether she has a boyfriend. Haven't dared to ask her yet, but it didn't seem like she has one either. She spent years in the army and has come back to college to study more, but she actually is very intelligent and does study and perform really well. She always dresses up specially with lip gloss, light make up etc when she meets up with me during lab(None of that during class). Moreover, I've never noticed her wear the clothes she wore during the labs, during classes when she doesn't sit beside me. Also she never lets the conversation stop in a silence even for a second. This kind of gives me a signal that she likes me, but I might be wrong.

    I generally do this trick where I crack a really bland joke and see how the girls reacts. Generally if the girl likes me she laughs at it, if she doesn't she calls me on it. I've tried it with her, she laughs but the thing is she is always way too polite with everyone. So its confusing me. I'm unable to escalate it to a higher level of intimacy cause I don't seem to get outright indicators from her that she likes me. Generally with other girls they try to touch you, ask you whether you want to study with them together etc. With her there is none of that.

    We have had long conversations about non-school matters and the last time I met her I have walked her to her car, but didn't feel comfortable asking her out on a date. I generally need to get more closer than this to ask someone out. I don't

    I have complimented her sometimes(she is a ballet dancer and keeps fit).But, it would part of some conversation that almost makes it sound hidden. But my friends say that I should bring it up strongly and make it the base of the conversation to show that I like her. Any ideas to do that without sounding too cheesy?

    It just feels kind of weird that I'm unable to ask her out. I don't see that expectation from her face or is she masking it out? I've never had tons of girls friends, but a very few and most them kind of hit on me first and I never had to work too much on it. But I could see their interest in me and it was fairly easy to ask them out. This is very different, but I really want to try her out. I can't bring up the flirty angle on her. Can't really make small jokes about her cause she is really very polite and doesn't like bad language(Err..).

    I'm probably making no sense here and my thread might be fairly out of place in this forum.. but I would be glad to answer more questions that you put out.. to make more sense. My question however is fairly simple. How do I escalate this positively and get her out on date somehow. Oh one more thing.. should I add her on Facebook? I generally add girls/women on Facebook after knowing them for a while and generally in front of them. Like for ex:- hey.. are you on Facebook? Whats your Facebook name? Browse it on my smartphone and show them. Is this you? and then go on from there etc...It kind of helps the conversation too. Like I look at their photos and and ask them about it and make casual jokes about their photos to make them(actually me) more comfortable when I chat with them or comment on their status on Facebook.

    P.S : I'm a newbie here so spare me if I'm asking questions that are weird and redundant. And I know 10 years difference in age is a little too much, but I don't care. I want to give it a try.

  2. #2
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    thisisSPARTAAAA is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help with nailing my crush

    Act mature and confident. Maturity is important because she's so much older. Dress maturely (work shirt, khakis instead of "No fat chicks" t-shirt and ripped jeans) and when you speak, tone down the "dude" or "oh man", etc... Treat school like a professional workplace around her. Also, don't do that high school crap where you drop subtle clues that you like her during conversation and see how she reacts. That's crap and she will think you are still wet under the ears. Just be cool and make her laugh and she will know you like her by your body language; she's much more experienced than you so she will easily pick up on ALL your signals and even subconscious signals that you did not mean to give out! Be bold and just say, "By the way, my friends and I are going out for some drinks this weekend; would you like to come?" That works much better with a mature woman.

  3. #3
    AmateurPlayer is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with nailing my crush

    Thanks for the insight. She seems overly decent. And I really don't want to take her out with my friends. They are not very mature to say the least. Any ideas on how to ask her out.. just me and her? I don't want to abruptly ask her.. want to build it up and at the end of my meeting with her.. ask her out on date..

  4. #4
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    thisisSPARTAAAA is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help with nailing my crush

    Well, that was just an example. If you think your friends will totally embarrass you, then say something like, "Oh, gosh, this course is crazy! I need to get a drink afterwards; wanna come?" Or something like, "Have you ever been to the blah blah? I've been told it's pretty good; do you wanna go this weekend?" Or "I heard this movie's gonna be pretty cool; do you wanna go see it Friday?" Those are fine. Don't try to build up to it because she is more experienced than you and as soon as you start "building up to it" by mentioning an event, she will know that asking her out is your general direction except you like to beat around the bush and test the waters like a nervous high school kid instead of being direct and confident like a real man. She will know. Just ask her casually and the worst that can happen is that she will tell you that she is busy that weekend. She won't think less of you for asking; that's for sure. But when it's an acquaintance that I want to turn into a romantic interest, I usually ask her to come out to the club with my buddies (so the invite is less threatening) and then isolate her at the club so I can dance with her and make out with her at the club. My routine...

  5. #5
    AmateurPlayer is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with nailing my crush

    Okay guys here is the update.
    So I met her in the hall way this last monday before a class we share in common(We have 3 classes in common), one of which I'm in her group. She smiled at me, but I was in a real bad mood for other reasons and I gave her a really dry smile and looked away cause I didn't want to talk with her at that moment. She looked at me again and walked past smiling again(I noticed through the corner of my eye). Felt really bad about it. Could have chatted her up for 1/2 hour easily.

    Anyway the very next day, I met her on the hallway and I was again not expecting to see her, but I saw her and she said Hi and smiled. I smiled back and said "Hey! whats up?" and kept walking. She went past me as I kept walking. She stopped, called me saying "Hey.. I talked with the professor blah blah blah and updated me about the project which I wasn't interested about and which she didn't need to update me about". I dunno why.. but I didn't want to be rude again and continued the conversation. And well.. the conversation went onnnn for an hour in the corridor. After 1/2 hour she literally put her books, bag and jacket down on the floor and continued the conversation . I felt kind of weird that I was making her do this, but felt happy as it was a sign that she liked me and continued the conversation. Gave IOIs, negged her a little bit, didn't do any significant flirting though, cause there were professors we knew walking by.. random administrative people walking, and of course students. And we were talking right outside one of the faculty rooms.. loudly. We had so much to talk about and kept on going. It was so interesting to have a conversation with her and we had so much in common to talk about. I really got to know her better actually.

    Anyway, I finally decided to give it a halt and I went for my bag which was in the waiting room and started walking towards her to say bye(she sensed it)... when she said.. "So where are you going now?" in an expectant manner like she wanted to come. I was actually telling her that I was planning to grab some food at SubWay a few minutes back in the conversation to create a scenario for me to call her with me to eat out. And we were also talking about nice restaurants to eat and she was giving me all kinds of choices. Well here is the big mistake I did : "I immedielty sensed that she liked me.. I dunno why ..its just the vibe I got" .. and I blurted out and escalated it way too high .. "Well, take me to a good restaurant" cause I didn't have the car on that day. She replied "Good restaurant? Umm.. well probably after finals". What was I thinking.. why did I do that? My heart sunk.. I should've just said I'm giong to SubWay and she probably would've come with me. I didn't fluster though.. I just went on with it like "Alright! probably after finals" and went on out like nothing happened. Frankly she felt sad about it and I could see it in her face.

    After eating at SubWaY I came back to the corridor and as I came somewhat close to her and she again initiated conversation saying :"So where did you eat?" how was it blah blah blah. I kind of reduced my enthusiasm and gave fairly short answers and didn't pick up the level of conversation. Started texting.. picked up phone calls. Frankly, I was kind of sad that she didn't come with me and I realized I unconciously negged her. We went to class and thats it for the day.

    After two days we meet at the lab. As usual do the lab stuff.. we do small talk all throughout the lab. Here too I don't get to do much flirting cause it in the lab, and by the time I try my best to get it done outside, we reach the intersection where we split saying good byes . This time, I just gave up and I decided to go to eat again..haha.. I like food a lot.. although I'm slightly skinny. I told her just before leaving that I'm mad hungry and was checking the timings of eat outs. It was eight at night before we left out. Yes the lab runs still 8:00 pm. I decided on subway and as soon as I left the building after walking like 20 steps I said .. "alright i gotto go to SubWay and grab some food.. see you". I had to split well before our normal splitting point. She then said "You know what actually... I think I will come your way. Its closer to the parking lot"(while actually it wasn't). Well, we went walking again in the new route till we split ways further down and I said "See you!" she paused and said "See you!". Should I have asked her to come with me to eat at SubWay? I just didn't want to be let down again.

    So here are the questions :
    There are obviously many mistakes I have made.What mistakes did you see here? .
    I've read about kino here.. how do I start kino on her.

    She is always in the department building where there is always someone coming to distract our conversation. So how do I isolate her to work up kino on her and do some flirting.

    She always dresses up specially when she comes to labs. while I'm dressed up like always. I'm definetly not shabby, but I dress the same always whether in class or with her. She does look very pretty in the lab... do I complement her on this? And do you recommend I go that extra mile to dress up better for the lab. What do you suggest?

    One of her friends in school was my friend and I kind of had a fight with her. I don't get along very well with her cause I simply don't like her and she knows that I don't. But this friend of hers keeps cock blocking me sometimes when I try to have a conversation with my target after class. I'm unable to keep a smooth conversation going on after that cause I don't want to talk with her friend in the process. What do I do about it?

    Btw, I friended her on facebook today, obviously she friended me back. I know its a bad move. But it clarified my notion ... she is actually single according to her facebook status.

    I have access to her email, IM, phone(but she disabled text) and now facebook. Any advice on using this?

  6. #6
    AmateurPlayer is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with nailing my crush

    Sorry for Bumping this thread. But I'm desperately in need for some advice/help.

  7. #7
    ted2012 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with nailing my crush

    goodwork friending her on facebook, I would accompany it with a message saying something like 'you should feel truly honoured as I never send friend requests and have hundreds knocking on the door'. I feel your pain though and i'm no expert by the way....it seems like you have quite a good rapport going with this bird, when your in the middle of a good conversation and you have her laughing.....say something like shit (or sugar if you cant curse) I gotta run, she doesnt need to know why and then casually suggest a few drinks after classes. As far as im concerned there is no better way to break down barriers than a few drinks. As long as your clothes are nice you dont need to go giving yourself a makeover, she prob has an idea you fancy her if you suddenly show up to class dressing like an older man it will just make it more obvious. Are there other hot birds in class you can flirt with also? You can also ask her out on fb.......there was this really hot bird I was after for ages and texting away and just said something like .......I wanna go for a few drinks and I have very little interest in you saying NO! I know for a fact she loved this....date was a f*ckin disaster (hungover) however I did get it my man, I did get it!! I think you should drop her a few compliments but dont go straight in with something like.....you look very beautiful today...try something like...your looking very nice in that lab coat today, you need to get the glasses to complete the look! Hope this helps, take it all with a pinch of salt...im certainly no expert, especially when it comes to girls I really like! This is my first post so my account doesnt get deleted... I think i'll be looking for some advice myself shortly, good luck


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