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  1. #1
    silkymp is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Bad 1st date..she mentioned reading "The Game"

    So, I want to describe a date I had about a month ago, because I have major one-itis with this girl. The obvious fix is to just forget about the one-itis and move on. But this woman is like no other. She is fun, intelligent (ivy league college grad) and attractive. This has to be the one date that I actually enjoyed in sometime. However, for some reason I was not myself and acted like an AFC that crushed my chance for a second date. FYI, I joined this site and read “The Game” only in the last week, so I’m doing this process in reverse. I wish that date could have been next week.

    The date was setup online to meet at the bar of a restaurant near her apartment. We met and ended up getting drinks and entrees. She was very friendly and I was a bit shocked when she was quick to offer sips of her drink and share her meal. That was a first for me so I’m not sure how to interpret that bit of generosity. Fill me in please! The only problem was my game didn’t show up for the date. Without any nerves, I had periods of quietness and it did make things a bit uncomfortable for the two of us. Once the alcohol of the first drink or two kicked in the conversation became a lot more flowing. We probably spent three hours together that night. I picked up the tab and offered her a ride home, which she accepted. It was a quick ride and a handshake good night. I’ve been on enough dates to know that every, girl is different when saying their hellos and good byes, so, I just remain neutral for the first date. Meaning a handshake and no hug or kiss attempt. One thing I have to mention about the restaurant was the setting at the bar. The bar stools were so tightly spaced that turning was impossible. I did my best to maintain eye contact, but felt I was talking sideways. The banging of legs and knees were also a consideration that may have been offensive to her, so I was careful about any rubbing. Wish I had suggested moving to a table.

    A couple days after the date, I sent a follow up text about having a good time and wanting to meet again. She did respond with having fun too. I waited a couple more days and tried contacting via text and then a phone call the next day. She did respond to either attempt. Finally, I received an email from her saying that she had fun and that I’m a great guy, but she didn’t feel we had a strong connection. She wished me luck in my future dating adventures. I had no choice but to let it go, but continued to think about how sucky I felt about losing this one. Mostly do to the fact that I had no game that night, the seating sucked and I really liked her.

    A few days later I sent an email to get a couple things off my chest. I explained to her that I was very nervous and I had a problem making a connection sitting at the bar and explained the awkwardness of the bar stools. I remember explain a few other things such as, not being in a rush to be in a serious relationship. Among other things, she replied stating that she was “actually quite happy that I emailed” and she would like to “continue to get to know one another through email for a bit”. She was better able to understand a few things and she asked me a couple of questions. She also thought that I was just saying that I wasn’t in “a rush to a serious relationship”, because, that is what I thought she might want to hear. She based that on the “somewhat incessant texts and phone calls” when first trying to follow up on our date I guess. My return email was sent a day later and I answered her questions as thoroughly and truthfully as possible. I never heard back from her until a week later. She was very nice, but said she just doesn’t “feel it”. There were a few quick emails back and forth that night, but I couldn’t really understand her change of mind. I just felt the screw up from the first date still lingered with her. She mentioned wanting to feel “fire and passion”. Also, she started to say she’s the “ type of girl that goes out on a date every night of the week”. I just didn’t believe it for whatever reason. I also said at some point that she must be hung up on some past relationship or someone that messed with her head. She replied that, “ I maybe right” and that her brother thinks that she only likes “jerks”. I have no idea what to make of her actions.

    One of the weird things that happened in our last email was that she suggested I read “The Game” if I haven’t already. She mentioned had read it and would smile when guys used it on her at bars. Another part of the email stated that girls like “jerks” and the nice guy always ends up last! I was pissed so I just ended up not emailing anymore. After a day or two passed, I emailed her because I was intrigued, by the book she mentioned and I couldn’t remember the name. She replied with the book title explained that it was a how to uncover/expose on the pick up scene. She left me with one other thought explination. She wanted “to clarify what she meant by liking jerks” that was that she “likes good guys that don’t act like nice guys”. “Guys, that acts like doormats and need approval from everyone”. “There is nothing sexier to a woman than a man that is confident, knows what he wants in life and takes charge to get it”. I must mention that I do have a very good job and I’m financially secure. She is also a college psych major, so I’m not sure what she thinks she is decoding. I did send her a response the following day, but I never heard back from eight days ago. There weren’t any real question that I asked so, I’m not totally surprised. Basically, me email mentioned that I ordered the book and she didn’t have to explain what “jerks” meant.

    I did order a copy of “The game” and I have about 30 pages left before finishing it this weekend. Her suggesting I read this book is somewhat of a puzzle to me. The story is really wild and off the wall. Currently, Style is chasing Lisa in the book and he is calling himself an AFC. When finished reading I kind of want to email this girl and ask why she recommended it to me. I’m not sure if it was meant to help me or explain her? I see her being very different from what is in this book, so I’m confused and I need some help. I wish I could turn this around and turn it into a second date, but the very least a better understand of how I got to this point. I feel the articles on this web site are more helpful than “The Game” will ever be to me. There is no desire to become a PUA.

    Just yesterday I created another online account to act as a wingman. I wanted this new profile to try and pick her up. The goal was just to secretly find out what she was about. She did read my email but never responded. My only real concern is that this “borrowed” profile may have contacted her some time ago. I’m not proud of this, but I figured I might be able to learn a bit. My alter ego did receive a ton of other emails, but this profile is of some other hunks face. LOL…Thanks in advance.

  2. #2
    thisisSPARTAAAA's Avatar
    thisisSPARTAAAA is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Bad 1st date..she mentioned reading "The Game"

    Goodness... that's an interesting story. So Sorry, bud, but you're out of luck with her. Her recommending that you read that book means she thinks you are an AFC but she likes you like a little brother. She thinks you have potential to be more alpha, but you are not for her. Which brings me to the next point. Never end a date with a hand-shake. Ending it that way confirms that you did not have a good connection. Always go for a cheek kiss or hug (holding her waist and looking at her type) or a full French if the girl seems compliant enough. That is to establish to her that you are still interested and there is a connection. The handshake at the end of the date is almost like saying flat out, "Well, we have mutual respect but I think we both know nothing will happen." And she was no easy target. A psych major at an Ivy League? That's a job for a pro. To game her, not only do you have to have made everything in "The Game" second nature to yourself already, you have to make your own plays on the spot (no thinking time) that no book has ever covered. You have to have developed your own style already. Basically, you have to be a natural. A girl like that can easily identify someone trying out techniques (she probably knows what techniques you're trying and which ones you are likely to try next LOL), but no matter how good at psychology anyone is, there is no defeating the natural.

  3. #3
    silkymp is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Bad 1st date..she mentioned reading "The Game"

    Thanks for the advice. I'm glad that I did send her that first email, but I'm just disappointed that she changed her mind after our second exchange. What would have had her flip so quickly? Thanks again.

  4. #4
    thisisSPARTAAAA's Avatar
    thisisSPARTAAAA is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Bad 1st date..she mentioned reading "The Game"

    You didn't kiss her on the first date. After that, (or possibly before that, depending on how things were going) she decided that nothing would happen. Any exchanges that happened after that was out of politeness and trying to help you instead of attraction. She didn't change her mind; I don't believe that you ever convinced her in the first place that you were suitable for her. So basically, the game ended a lot sooner than you thought it ended... Sorry to hear that and I'm sure you've been told a million times, but don't dwell on any woman; go out and meet other girls. And next time, don't act like AFC. Make it clear as early as possible that you are in no way, shape, or form, a decent nice guy looking to take things slow.

  5. #5
    Bill Preston's Avatar
    Bill Preston is offline Owner - PUA Forum
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    Default Re: Bad 1st date..she mentioned reading "The Game"

    You need to check out two things:

    1. The Tao Of Badass
    2. The Badboy Formula

  6. #6
    silkymp is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Bad 1st date..she mentioned reading "The Game"

    With all of the above considered, what if your not looking for the quick blow and nightly sarging is of no interest, but looking for something meaningful? Do the same rules apply? One thing that is a problem is the location of were the two live. Those that live in a major city operate at a different speed than those in a suburban area. It is easier to be viewed as a bore when not in the city.


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