Hello. I hope this is someone who can actully help me who is reading this. I have a long story and If anyone ever wants to know more, let me know.
I am going to try and sum it up here...
When I was 21, I broke up with my HS girlfriend of 5 years. It killed me that she never wanted me back. For the past 3 years I have been in a state of depression. In HS, I never even knew what being insecure meant. I was always happy and confident. I developed really bad anxiety too so for 3 years I havent really talked to people. I am 24 now. I am just in the process of true self improvement. A few months ago I started going to see a psychiatrist and a counselor. I was prescribed an anti anxiety/anti depressent and also Aderol because focusing has been an issue with me my whole life. This has done a lot for me. 2 weeks ago I got hired to be a debt collector and I am very excited because I think my money earning potential is unlimited. I read this sh1t for so long and really believed in The Game and what I read. After reading all this stuff, I always wanted to be an alpha and to be honest, It hindered me because A. I am not an alpha and B. I cared what people think.
So a few months into counseling, I lost my depression and my anxiety. It is amazing. Also, I can LEARN like I never have been able to with this Aderol. Every day I learn something new, even if its about myself.
I also want to mention that about 2-3 months ago I started preying and I love it and it helps me and makes me feel better.
I swear to God...my mindset in the past few months is a 360 degree turn around.
I really do not care what anybody thinks of me. This has helped me. In the work place, I carry alpha mentality and I now strongly believe in the law of attraction in the work place. I felt like I could be the boss there my 2nd day. I feel like in the future with this company, I can have any position I want...even CEO.
I am happy, confident and optimistic. All I am going to do is build my bank account for the next few years. I know That now I am actully a good candidate to make a wonderful boyfriend.
But I am stuck a little...I am "in game" at all times. Somehow, it just naturally started happening. I give off an alpha presence. Maybe not the most approachable person. I am really "in the zone" I am aware of everything that is going on around me. Basically...I'm ready for anything. I am finally open, honest and being true to myself. My eyes are intense and I'm constantly thinking about talking to girls. I think girls notice that I am on the prowl. Alot send IoI's...fixing their hair when I walk by.
At the place I work, there are 2 girls...a 5 and a 6. The tubby 6 gets all this atention. There are 6-8 alphas, me being 1 of them. A few times me and the 6 made eye contact. Both emotionless expressions. She came one day and stood by my desk, we were both standing. She had on leopard print shoes. The 1st thing I said to her after about 5 days of being in the same office was "I like your shoes" with a smile. She gave me a "coooool" kind of look and gave me the thumbs up and looked away...This is what I mean. I am genuinely nice and in a way im hitting on her, but not really....and I get cold shoulders. Whats up with that?
It's my eyes that need improvement I think.
I am happy and I am confident and now I can talk, talk, talk.
I still think I care what girls think.
I dont want to creep girls out.
I dont want to get that dirty farkin look they give to every other loser.
I am better than that and I deserve a great girl but it just looks like I am too scared to get rejected.
Ive farked 10 girls in my life. I am 24, handsome, confident, happy and soon to be financially secure....I want more girls. I want a bunch of relationships and I want help figuring out why my reality will not let me approach girls. I dont want to creep them out!!
-Thanks for reading, anyadvice is great.