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  1. #1
    Cydien is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default A genuine advanced coaching question

    Any thoughts on how to coach someone who can't vibe?

    The guy I am coaching literally has a medical condition that makes it impossible for him to really get his energy up or vibe. His smile is not all that natural either.

    That said, he is smart, witty, can verbally joust with the best of them and is pretty fearless. He is about average attractiveness.

    Any experts with thoughts on this? This is the first client who has ever stumped me.

  2. #2
    Gambit is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: A genuine advanced coaching question

    Focus on his strengths. If he's smart and witty, make sure he lets that shine through to DHV. If his smile isn't natural, just have him work at it. If he keeps working toward it, it will become natural over time.

  3. #3
    Suave Kino's Avatar
    Suave Kino is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: A genuine advanced coaching question

    Listen, if he has low energy these needs to be a strength. Maybe instead of low energy, it becomes confident and mysterious. I would reccomend building a stack that plays to these strengths. It's all about the frame and perception.

  4. #4
    Cydien is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: A genuine advanced coaching question

    Quote Originally Posted by Suave Kino View Post
    Listen, if he has low energy these needs to be a strength. Maybe instead of low energy, it becomes confident and mysterious. I would reccomend building a stack that plays to these strengths. It's all about the frame and perception.
    I kind of thought of this, but like the way you put it. Taking his low energy and giving him confidence by framing that as one of his strengths. Only thing I worry about is that his one past relationship his stoic manner made her think he was abusive. It was part of the impetus for on of our articles.

    Anyhow, getting him confident about his "mysterious" manner can build confidence. And obviously confidence alone can sometimes win the day.

    What's most problematic about this guy is that his massive social anxiety is a therapy problem, but obviously as a PUA coach we run into it all the time.

    I prefer not to let it bog me down and that has worked out, but in his case it's on another level.

    I am thinking what I will actually do is have him practice game on his friends, people he so far has no problem with opening up and being his smart witty self.

    Improve him in that area, build confidence from that and then slowly have him try new people again.

  5. #5
    Suave Kino's Avatar
    Suave Kino is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: A genuine advanced coaching question

    I would put a lot of emphasis on a stack, way more the with the typical client. Using the stack as a social shield Would possibly allow him to one build some confidence and to allow him to disconnect from his anxiety.

  6. #6
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    SiliconMagician is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: A genuine advanced coaching question

    You guys who do this for money amaze me. I sure wouldn't want to take on the job of training a man with crippling social anxieties. I often wonder what you do with those guys with real inner demons.

  7. #7
    Cydien is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: A genuine advanced coaching question

    Quote Originally Posted by Suave Kino View Post
    I would put a lot of emphasis on a stack, way more the with the typical client. Using the stack as a social shield Would possibly allow him to one build some confidence and to allow him to disconnect from his anxiety.
    I agree, we've actually already got him going on this, that's how I know he's witty, but he just still can't handle the pressure.

    Good advice though.

  8. #8
    Cydien is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: A genuine advanced coaching question

    Quote Originally Posted by SiliconMagician View Post
    You guys who do this for money amaze me. I sure wouldn't want to take on the job of training a man with crippling social anxieties. I often wonder what you do with those guys with real inner demons.
    I can always tell whether someone has bad intentions. Usually I not only refuse to coach them I ostracize them after already framed myself as alpha.


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