I lost my virginity with my first serious girlfriend. We were young and in high school and definitely were heavy in "love" or puppy love with a little bit of an on-again off-again. Our relationship ended for good our senior year, and I agreed that we should break up. Long story short I still had luster for her while she got over me and moved on quickly.
She is defiantly a city-girl BUT not your typical city girl. She doesn't like to party and club anymore so much because of the scene (she did have her experimental phase), but if she went out, she would dominate the party because of how much she is the life of the party. This girl is not your typical "insecure" girl, she is VERY strong minded and can have a deep conversation about ideals, morals, values and the such. She comes off as very emotionally stable, but she suffers from common emotional things that girls go through. She is thick and knows how to maximize her looks for herself! Since me she has had a few guys fall in love with her so she has something working for her for sure. The main thing is she is just a freak on the inside and definitely can't help it, she is VERY attracted to males and why I am definitely attracted to her. The thought of sex with her is a turn on. She has the "good girl/bad girl," thing to her! Mentally/values seems like a girl for a long term relationship, but in the bed seems like a farking pornstar IMO HOT like she can't help herself!!
With that being said, she has ALWAYS respected me because we had such a strong relationship and we were each others firsts which was special to both of us and we have always kept in touch throughout our relationships. I am 23 now and have a much more rational mind and experienced. Honestly she has been with MANY men since we have broken up. I have been with a handful, but know how to act experienced enough to not look like a total chump even though I had my moments in the past.
About two months ago in February she came to me for advice, and probably her other friends too, about her boyfriend. She thought that he was getting too needy and possessive over her which stemmed from her hooking up with another guy when they were on a break. I remember her telling me that she was pissed off that he still resented her for that. She told me "If he resents me than he should have respected himself and walked away and not accepted me back." She thought he was being too "Beta." She genuinely cares for the guy and expressed to me that they are very comfortable around each other mentally and sexually, just the emotions weren't matching. Plus he wouldn't be social at family events with a really social family... ta ta ta... Typical "hes too beta for me" and I can't see me raising children with this guy! So I give her my advice which is do what's best for you. Also, before she asked me for advice, she saw me play music live (D-H-V Maybe??) and that night she ended up texting me that she wanted to lose her virginity with me again. Maybe bouncing around because of the situation?
So they break up! (End of February)
So since I never lost my luster for her I got excited... But ALWAYS played it cool. As a matter of fact I thought I was going to bag her for sure this time.
I had her in my room and I tried to put the moves on her by massaging her and ending taking her shirt off and playing with and licking her breasts and ass (very nice!!) , but she was kind of indifferent about it. When I was done, (I stopped because I saw her not escalating with me) she was quick to put them away.. But not totally rejecting either. I brought it up later but she said it's not a big deal. So I played it cool for weeks to come, just looking for IOI's or where she is at and mostly the same thing. She told me I looked good at few events we went to but no sex or real interest so far.
So a 3 day vacation cruise opportunity pops up, so we go with a group of my friends that coincidentally she knew from high school too (Good looking girls too so D-H-V for me). So she made a comment about going in the shower with her because we shared a room with my friend. I did later! Played with her titties again and touched her body for a bit, but same thing, she cut it short even though she allowed me to feel up on her. Next day, I get my opportunity again, and escalate it. I was being aggressive and got to kiss her and make out with her a little bit and even rubbed her clit just a little bit and. We hopped out the shower and went to the bed and I motioned to her let's fark, and she told me that she's so comfortable with me, but that she wasn't invested into me and didn't want to have a one time thing just because I got her horny. So I respected that assuming that was the Alpha or non-douchebag thing to do. Other than when I get her horny, she's more or less indifferent and always just comfortable.
So here's the kicker!!! (DON'T HATE!!) I know her e-mail and recently logged in to creep to see the status of where's shes at so I can know for myself! She sent SEXY pics to her recent ex in lingerie and heels defiantly sporting her busty body after we just chilled that night for 4/20 and ate brownies with my group of friends! Which discouraged me a little bit.... (which is why I am here!)
My personal assessment:
To her, I am not ugly, but she's not invested in me and doesn't want to have that "one night stand" with me. She would want to be committed, but doesn't want to go there with me. AKA Friend Zone! But she let's me touch her wherever and only tells me to stop when it might go too far.
I guess she wouldn't regret me hitting it because of my status with her, but she doesn't want to feel like a whore and she is indifferent with me & probably we have been friends for awhile.
I feel like I might have an opportunity here, but I am not sure!
SO... should I be ultra aggressive here!? Should I back down and be patient? I WANT to hit this girl again! She is was my biggest crush and still is and I want to fack her bad.. again and again until I tire myself with her. I would love to be with her long-term but if that doesn't happen I don't give a fark, there are smarter/better girls out there that would probably be better suited for me... I just want to relive my fantasy!! She drives me crazy!! Can you blame me?!!?!
I am VERY smart and always keep things cool so I think I am in good standings to try anything at this point.
THANK YOU !! This was my first post so It was big.. so sorry for the read!!