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  1. #1
    SiliconMagician's Avatar
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    Default My fav HB comes crawling back seeking forgiveness, should I?

    Well in the thread about the Hot natural that had invaded by social circle, I had mentioned how he had hooked up with my fav HB.Well he got his ass canned yesterday. So that 'problem' solved itself. I liked the guy and all but he really was a crappy worker.

    When I found out that he had hooked up with my fav HB I froze her out. I didn't tell her I knew, she had tried to keep the whole thing hush hush, but didn't count on player dude bragging to me about his conquests, including her. I played it all cool and kept the fact that I knew what was going on a secret from her and just froze her out. I ignored her texts and calls, and shut off my usual flirting and kino with her at work and went strictly professional.

    She kept asking over the last few weeks "What's wrong? I haven't been able to get a hold of you, is everything okay?" and I respond "Sure, just busy babe." and kept up the ice. Which drove her crazy.

    She went to the day manager, as he's a friend of mine, and asked him what was going on and he told her flat out I found out about her and dude hooking up and he said she was terrified because I hadn't said a word about it and never let her know I was on to her misdeeds but had been "acting cold".

    Now we weren't exclusive so I had no claim to her, but there are some emotional aspects to our relationship, which has been going off and on for awhile now and the one thing we had agreed when we started was we wouldn't see other people that we worked with. Outside of work was one thing, but she broke the rule. So I had no choice but to punish her in this way.

    With dude out of the way now, she called me up yesterday and begged to see me. She said she wanted to talk and she'd take me out and pay for everything. I said "okay" I wanted to hear what she had to say, meaning I wanted to see her break down in tears in front of me and beg my forgiveness.

    We went out and after a few drinks she asked why I didn't say anything about her and dude hooking up. I told her that it wouldn't have done any good, that she's a grown woman who can do what and who she wants, but I have that same choice and I chose not to have anything to do with her while she was messing with dude.

    She broke down and said that it was only once, and that it wasn't anything like we had because I'm tender, compassionate, affectionate and sweet and he was just detached and blah about the whole thing. Where I held her and made her feel special and cared for, he made her feel like a dirty piece of meat. Talk about Buyer's Remorse, lol.

    I told her that she broke the one rule we made and that I wasn't happy about that at all, that I wasn't sure I could trust her again like that and she was all crushed by it and pretty much begged my forgiveness and I told her that we'll have to work on that but it would take awhile.

    We then went back to my place and had some awesome make up sex. I just dropped her off about a half hour ago at home. Now I'm kind of torn. We do have some emotional attachment and I do care for her a great deal and want to forgive her. But at the same time, I'm not sure it wouldn't violate my own ethics. Freezing her out worked good. She realized what she was missing in her life and that she seriously screwed up and I have to say that I am a bit hurt by her activities and she knows it.

    So now I don't know what to do because I'm getting the feeling now that she's been played, found it lacking and may try to take things exclusive between us. I'm not completely closed to the idea. After all we weren't exclusive before and its not like I haven't been getting my own action all along, but well, this emotional stuff makes it complicated.

    Should I forgive her for her transgression and continue seeing her and see what it grows into or should I just explain to her that I've thought about it a few days and decided that we really can't see each other anymore.

    Hard choice for me.

    Should I forgive her and see what it grows into or should I say "next"?

  2. #2
    OOKĖ's Avatar
    OOKĖ is offline PUA Forums Moderator
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    Default Re: My fav HB comes crawling back seeking forgiveness, should I?

    Wow man, this is quite the ordeal. Love how you handled it.

    I personally believe in second chances. People screw up, and realize how lucky they were to begin with.

    I would only take her back, if she's genuinely sorry, and has displayed that to you in some sort of expansive way.

    I mean.. she flopped on you for that other guy. Anyone can beg for forgiveness, it isn't hard to do. What else besides "begging" shows she's REALLY sorry, and that she'll make it up to you?

    If so, I find situations like this can strengthen relationships.

    I honestly think she's realized that guys like you are hard to come by (you're perfect boyfriend material), and made the mistake of screwing up to realize that. She's learned that the other dude, was 'just another guy after meat.'

    Saying "next", is just a write-off. I'd forgive her, and see where it goes. It's all a new experience; more to learn. If she ends up farking some other guy while in a relationship with you, then you'll know how to handle this sort of situation in the future.
    Always feel free to PM me

  3. #3
    SiliconMagician's Avatar
    SiliconMagician is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: My fav HB comes crawling back seeking forgiveness, should I?

    Quote Originally Posted by OOKĖ View Post
    Wow man, this is quite the ordeal. Love how you handled it.

    I personally believe in second chances. People screw up, and realize how lucky they were to begin with.

    I would only take her back, if she's genuinely sorry, and has displayed that to you in some sort of expansive way.

    I mean.. she flopped on you for that other guy. Anyone can beg for forgiveness, it isn't hard to do. What else besides "begging" shows she's REALLY sorry, and that she'll make it up to you?

    If so, I find situations like this can strengthen relationships.

    I honestly think she's realized that guys like you are hard to come by (you're perfect boyfriend material), and made the mistake of screwing up to realize that. She's learned that the other dude, was 'just another guy after meat.'

    Saying "next", is just a write-off. I'd forgive her, and see where it goes. It's all a new experience; more to learn. If she ends up farking some other guy while in a relationship with you, then you'll know how to handle this sort of situation in the future.
    Yeah, this is my thinking. But what do we mean when we discuss "expansive way". I don't want to over do punishing her. At some point I'll have to put this whole episode aside and continue as we were. So I only have a short window in which to test her.

    I don't want to do anything mean like throw another HB in her face. That's kid stuff IMO and while I will pull some mean stuff on a woman who I just met or only been seeing a few weeks.. this girl is definitely not one I want to be overly mean to because she's fully invested in me now emotionally and realizes it.

  4. #4
    OOKĖ's Avatar
    OOKĖ is offline PUA Forums Moderator
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    Default Re: My fav HB comes crawling back seeking forgiveness, should I?

    By "expansive", I mean that she should apologize in a way other than just begging. You did mention make up sex, so I suppose that suffices, lol.

    No, definitely don't to anything drastic though (e.g. throw another HB in her face). I also forgot that you two were not exactly exclusive at the time.

    Just ignore my "expansive" context.

    I definitely say, take her back. Saying, "next" is just a waste of an unknown experience.

    You never know where life goes brother
    Always feel free to PM me

  5. #5
    SiliconMagician's Avatar
    SiliconMagician is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: My fav HB comes crawling back seeking forgiveness, should I?

    Quote Originally Posted by OOKĖ View Post
    By "expansive", I mean that she should apologize in a way other than just begging. You did mention make up sex, so I suppose that suffices, lol.

    No, definitely don't to anything drastic though (e.g. throw another HB in her face). I also forgot that you two were not exactly exclusive at the time.

    Just ignore my "expansive" context.

    I definitely say, take her back. Saying, "next" is just a waste of an unknown experience.

    You never know where life goes brother
    Makes mucho sense to me. I mean, it's funny really. Between this chick and another one I was seeing for almost as long that I cared about and couldn't quite nail down is what brought me back to the community looking to see where my game is rusty.

    All the posting of advice helped crystallize my game in my mind and remind me just who I was, because I felt I was starting to seriously betafy. A little community exposure helped remind me of my place in the world and it's funny how after a few weeks of rethinking my game(and a whole lot of dates) how I instinctually knew how to play this crappy hand that had been dealt to me.

    Thanks man.

  6. #6
    OOKĖ's Avatar
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    Default Re: My fav HB comes crawling back seeking forgiveness, should I?

    Glad I could be of help dude. I hate ending up with a clouded mind in these situations too; but that's what we're all here for We all scratch eachother's backs.
    Always feel free to PM me


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