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  1. #1
    ddubmcnasty is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default AFC here - Field Report. Great start to night, Pathetic ending

    Hey all,

    I'm new to the forums. To introduce myself, I'm Dave, going to college (3rd year) in San Luis Obispo, CA. I have had luck with women over the years, but its just that. Luck.

    I like to do fun things (dirtbiking, snowboarding, down to try anything), I am good looking/muscular/clean cut/low bodyfat. I have a good outlook on life and I have a good future. There is only one thing holding me back on life, and that is women. I understand the basics of being a PUA, and have tried to implement them throughout my downtown bar experiences.

    There is something I am missing in my journey to connect with women. Tonight is a perfect example. I went downtown to meet up with a friend (male), one of his friends (male), and two female friends. We were all having a good time at one of the bars. We went to a different dance bar, the 2 guys and 2 girls started dancing, and I was left to search the club for lone damsels.

    I approached a total of four groups of decent looking girls. the first said she was having a girls night out (group of 3, two were dancing with guys, I approached the 3rd one out). I went to the next group, a little bummed but still smiling and having a good time. I said her group had a good energy, and she kinda gave me a weird look and turned around. The third and fourth attempts I kinda half-assed because I was feeling shut down, and obviously nothing good happened. I went out the back of the bar, left my friends, and rode my bike home searching a PUA forum for advice.

    I am a fairly quiet person, but enjoy going out of my comfort zone socially. I consider myself very introverted in some ways and pretty extroverted in other ways.

    This scenario has happened many times downtown. My theory is that my personality comes off as boring, and girls aren't trying to talk to boring guys. But then again, how could I seem boring approaching a group of girls at a bar, putting my ego on the line?

    Maybe it is because I live in a college town, competing with just as good looking guys with more attractive personalities. Or maybe my personality is just effed.

    I'm sure some of you have been in my shoes and have overcome the same issue. Any advice would be awesome. Anyone who lives in San Luis Obispo or is passing by and wants to meet up would be awesome. I may or may not be Average, but I am definitely Frustrated. Off to go smoke and pass out. I envy all of you who can attract women with your personalities.

  2. #2
    SiliconMagician's Avatar
    SiliconMagician is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: AFC here - Field Report. Great start to night, Pathetic ending

    Quote Originally Posted by ddubmcnasty View Post
    Hey all,

    I'm new to the forums. To introduce myself, I'm Dave, going to college (3rd year) in San Luis Obispo, CA. I have had luck with women over the years, but its just that. Luck.

    I like to do fun things (dirtbiking, snowboarding, down to try anything), I am good looking/muscular/clean cut/low bodyfat. I have a good outlook on life and I have a good future. There is only one thing holding me back on life, and that is women. I understand the basics of being a PUA, and have tried to implement them throughout my downtown bar experiences.

    There is something I am missing in my journey to connect with women. Tonight is a perfect example. I went downtown to meet up with a friend (male), one of his friends (male), and two female friends. We were all having a good time at one of the bars. We went to a different dance bar, the 2 guys and 2 girls started dancing, and I was left to search the club for lone damsels.

    I approached a total of four groups of decent looking girls. the first said she was having a girls night out (group of 3, two were dancing with guys, I approached the 3rd one out). I went to the next group, a little bummed but still smiling and having a good time. I said her group had a good energy, and she kinda gave me a weird look and turned around. The third and fourth attempts I kinda half-assed because I was feeling shut down, and obviously nothing good happened. I went out the back of the bar, left my friends, and rode my bike home searching a PUA forum for advice.

    I am a fairly quiet person, but enjoy going out of my comfort zone socially. I consider myself very introverted in some ways and pretty extroverted in other ways.

    This scenario has happened many times downtown. My theory is that my personality comes off as boring, and girls aren't trying to talk to boring guys. But then again, how could I seem boring approaching a group of girls at a bar, putting my ego on the line?

    Maybe it is because I live in a college town, competing with just as good looking guys with more attractive personalities. Or maybe my personality is just effed.

    I'm sure some of you have been in my shoes and have overcome the same issue. Any advice would be awesome. Anyone who lives in San Luis Obispo or is passing by and wants to meet up would be awesome. I may or may not be Average, but I am definitely Frustrated. Off to go smoke and pass out. I envy all of you who can attract women with your personalities.
    Man, trust me. Very few, if any of us here ever just picked up a book and went "AHA!" and suddenly we were good with women.

    I promise you in my case that the first month or two of going out and approaching regularly all kinds of wicked stuff happened. I got laughed at, ignored, told to get lost, told that there was "something wrong" with me, etc.. a whole bunch of stuff and yes. It's very dispiriting. At first it feels like a hole is torn in you.

    But that pain is only temporary. It'll fade like a half remembered nightmare and then dissipate completely the first time you actually lock in and start getting Indicators of Interest from girls. Take it in baby steps.

    The key is to keep trying. You have to pump yourself up, get yourself into what is called "State" which is almost like a heightened sense of awareness. Think about how you were, what was your body language like? Were you smiling and happy? Did you walk with a purpose? These things are mucho important. Did you try to get eye contact with any of the women in the venue first before approaching? EC is extremely important. If you look at a woman, and she meets your stare, smile at her and hold her gaze for about 8-10 seconds, then approach her. You'll find your approaches stick better.

    For instance, in the 1st approach with the girl on the "girls night out" excuse you should've busted on her for her two friends dancing with guys and her just sitting there. You could've called her out with something like "Well it looks like your two friends are having girls night out, you are just having you." or something. It's okay to be a little "mean" in the sense of you aren't going to take lame excuses like "Girls night out" or "I have a boyfriend" type stuff. Call them on it when they say it.

    "I have a boyfriend."

    "Well that's cool and all, but he's not here and I am, plus I'm the shit. So lets chat!" and just sit down or whatever. Make her literally say "No" or "Get lost!" or something like that. Don't let lame excuses hold you back. They'll be shocked by your big balls and become curious that you didn't just go away like the other chodes.

    Do this again, and again and agian, as much as you can when you can. Try to get eye contact everywhere you go, during the day, during the night, at the grocery store, on the street, wherever you are. Start with Eye Contact and approach the girls that meet and hold your gaze. Once you see your sets sticking and you start figuring out how to do that, then you can move on to approaching girls without an overt IOI and go from there.

    Keep at it man, you may not have one of us right there next to you, but we damn sure support you.

  3. #3
    ddubmcnasty is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: AFC here - Field Report. Great start to night, Pathetic ending

    SiliconMagician-

    Thanks for the support and the advice. It really helps to know that all of my difficulties are normal (on a personal basis - not just reading it from a book).


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