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  1. #1
    Senneca is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Exclamation GF beeing emotionally affected after major buisness problem

    Hello figured i might aswell post about this particular problem i’ve been having. I met a hb9 on a train a few months back, had great contact and she asked for my number, she lived in another city so we texted a lot. eventually she came over and stayed 4 days at my place, we had a really good time, i really believe she was happy with me, then she left.

    As soon as she left she got really sick (i called her and noticed by her voice that it was bad) anyway about 1 week passes with very little texting, and almost 0 from her side, and before she used to text me very frequently and be very warm and cute. in this period she also mentioned once that she can’t wait to see me… anyway i thought that something is up and i figured i should go no contact for a few days… 4 days pass and i hear nothing from her, then i text her telling hey whats up, i miss your texts, why dont we talk anymore? Then she responded telling me that a lot of nasty stuff happened to her since she left besides the week she was really sick, she has her own buisness, was swamped in work, and someone who was in the power to fuck her up financially did so just to show that he could, or out of spite. She said this really messed her up and she can’t focus on herself or feelings because of it, and that she deals with this kind of stuff alone. I responded telling her that she should let the bad things in life win and take away the good things she has, and i told her that if she needs time to get her balance she has it… i wont go into details there were about 4-5 texts in the conversation… anyway after i gave that response she didnt say anything, to be honest from what i judged about her character i dont think she’s lying… and now i decided to go no contact again. This is a really confusing situation that’s why i sought out your input. What’s your take on all this? What should i do if i want to get her back?
    Thanks

  2. #2
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    Cody is offline PUA All Star (RETIRED)
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    Default Re: GF beeing emotionally affected after major buisness problem

    Sounds legit. I doubt she's lying.

    One of David DeAngelo's points in his 77 laws is "Let her problems be her problems." By fixing a problem for her you rob her of the opportunity to grow into a stronger, more mature woman. From what you said I think you understand this and took steps accordingly.

    The second thing is to give her space. One of the worst things you can do to a girl is smother her. She'll come back to you when she's ready, and by the sound of it she'll come back around.

    I think you said most of the important stuff, just not how I would have said it. I'll just reiterate the main points.

    You show your concern.
    You don't want to bother her, but get back to you when she's ready.
    You're there if she needs you.

    This one's up in the air. I'd like to see what the other guys would have to say, but since it seems your last talk was kind of shakey I would talk to her a week or two from now to "check in" on her and reiterate your major points.
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  3. #3
    Senneca is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF beeing emotionally affected after major buisness problem

    Firts, thanks for the answer...
    I guess it's been a while since i last read DeAangelo...well at least some of the info managed to sink in. Could you go into more details about the way you would of said it, i would like to understand what i might have done better.

    Also... this whole waiting and beeing there for her is what i would like to do, but it makes me also think wouldn't this be beta backsliding if i also tell her?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: GF beeing emotionally affected after major buisness problem

    Personally I don't think it would be beta of you. From your description you seem to have built up some major rapport with her, and you've invested enough into the relationship to give it a little more than one go. I would wait somwhere between 1-2 weeks to send her a final text. That is of course if she doesn't get back to you before then. Here's what I would say. You're more than welcome to copy it word for word.

    Hey, just wanted to check and see how you were doing. Hope things have gotten better since we last talked. I'm not going to continue bombarding you with texts so this will be my last. I'd like you to be in my life more than you have been lately, and if you feel the same, get back to me.

    That's it. If it works, cool. If not, on to the next one.
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  5. #5
    Senneca is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF beeing emotionally affected after major buisness problem

    Thanks for the advice, i'll have to wait and see how this goes... what about if i call her to talk about this instead of actually of texting her?

  6. #6
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    Default Re: GF beeing emotionally affected after major buisness problem

    Yeah no problem.

    It depends on the girl really. Use your best judgement. Many girls would prefer a phonecall to a text, and if she answers there are many advantages to actually hearing the voice as opposed to imagining it through a text. However, there are still a few girls who would prefer to text. My ex had serious anxiety with talking on the phone (she's a crazy.) But if you feel good about calling, then call.
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  7. #7
    Senneca is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF beeing emotionally affected after major buisness problem

    So yesterday she texted me out of the blue, "what are you doing right now?" i responed after like an hour when i saw the text that i'm enjoying the good weather in the park, and i asked what she was up to, then i got no answer. I'm finding it really difficult to understand this behavior, but i guess it's a good thing she texted me. Not sure what to do next because of her unresponsiveness but i would go with waiting some more.


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