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  1. #1
    samitos is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Detailed story of a complicated girl

    So... my problem is in the next message.

    oops.. for some reason I still can't send my message because there it finds an URL link in it, what I haven't contained in my post. please help!
    Last edited by samitos; 04-30-2012 at 10:19 AM. Reason: see up there

  2. #2
    samitos is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Detailed story of a complicated girl

    Alright, I'm not going to cut this short, let me share my story with my ex.

    We have dated for 3 months when she went on a 9 day long ski-trip with her class. Everything seemed fine. She didn't like the idea of us not seeing each other for 9 days, we spent the last 2 days together without any argument or negative feelings. When we said goodbye just before the bus started off, she turned a bit emotional, told me she loves me and started crying. I was not emotional at all, told her not to worry, I handled it well - I even told her playfully to flirt with other guys if she finds a better one, she smiled. I went home.

    In the first few days, I felt there was nothing to worry about. She texted me every day like 3 or 4 times, like it's super sunny here, miss u. x. She always told me that she's gonna call in the evening and did so for a few days. She was texting like a girl in love, that she loves me so much, is looking forward to hear my voice etc etc. We chatted for like 10 minutes every night.

    Then all out of the blue something changed. Whereas in the first days she would text me and even call, after 5 days has passed she didn't text me during the day, we just chatted in the evening. So I decided to text her sparingly during daytime and she replied to these at first, but as time passed there were times when she would not even reply. Completely ignored texts. She would write me sometimes, but not replies, just what she wanted to tell. And on the last day of their trip, we didn't make any contact (the first day like that since we were together). I was not initiating contact because we have agreed that she is going to write me as she has a timetable there to stick to and doesn't have a ton of time.

    When she got home, some other guys uploaded like dozens of pictures taken in the ski camp on Facebook, with them posing with my girlfriend. I know her well and she is a bit of a flirt, she needs a man's company most of the time, and seemed to pick one guy there. There is nothing bad about it I thought, didn't become jealous at all, even liked some of the pictures. Never asked about that guy.

    On the other hand there were really bad signs. Some of my good friends were in the same group as them, and they told me to 'be careful with guy X'. Basically there were gossip going over the whole group that I have been cheated on. I thought it was BS, I'm not gonna pay attention to any of these gossips and I would never mention it to my girlfriend. However, just to make sure that I don't make a fool of myself, I asked one of my girlfriends best girlfriend, that there has been some stupid gossip about us in the group and just wanted to ask her opinion about it. I acted totally relaxed and she told me that my girlfriend loves me and not to worry. She asked whether I have noticed a recent change in her behaviour. I lied and said no, not at all.

    When my GF got back after a 20 hour bus trip, she told me she slept through the next day. I would have expected to meet her (we live 15 mins from each other), but didn't worry, gave her time and space to sort herself out. Then next day at school (we attend the same school) I wanted her to come to me. She came, but not in a way a girl in love would. She told me she was feeling bad and ill and to be honest she was really suffering for 3 or 4 days, didn't come to school and had to go from hospital to hospital, there were fears that she has a swelling in her ovary. I told her that if she needs anything tell me, or just tell if I can give some help.

    After 3 or 4 days her pains decreased and even disappeared. But she seemed to have other problems. At the time we were both preparing for our finals (we had 2 months to prepare back then) and she was gone nuts about it. We were starting to have small arguments. After one minor fight (she told me she learns during the weekend and can't concentrate on anything else) I told her that if we can't have a really happy relationship because of the exams, let's take a break because not being in a relationship is better for both of us than being in an unhappy one. She told me she would think about it, I decided to have my own fun during the weekend, I thought I will give her space, she needs it.

    She wrote me next day that she is going to a birthday party she must attend, but will just have a few drinks as she wants to study. I said OK, have fun, I'll do my own things. Then in the evening I called her to ask how she feels and she told me that they are going to another party. I think I maybe overreacted but this drove me crazy. She was not available for her boyfriend for just an hour during the whole weekend (not to mention that we didn't spend more than an hour with each other for 15 days because of the ski trip) and then she decides to party all night long. I told her that it is humiliating for me.

    This was the point when I became an AFC I suppose. We had the first real fight, there was a lot ot tension, next day I met her with a cool head. Bought her flowers, maybe it was a mistake (this was the 2nd time I did that). I told her it is not for apologies but she gets me those for our 3 months (we reached 3 when she was away skiing). She thanked me and told me that she has to apology, not me. Then I brought up the topic of our relationship. We listed the options. We leave each other for a while; we continue to hurt each other which leads to nowhere; we try to force it (and that never works). bla bla bla..

    We couldn't come to an agreement, it was not like that anyway that we are going to decide immediately. But after 2 days there was no improvement in her mood or anything, she was telling me things like she sees the future as really dark... I brought up the topic of sex, she told me she was not in the mood. A few days has passed and I became fed up. When I went to her to hug or kiss her, she was almost pushing me away. Yet she called me every night, and one night I decided not to pick up the phone. She texted me, I didn't write back. Called me like 10 times and constantly texted to pick it up. After a while I picked up, she asked my why I did that and I told her not to call me if it is just because of her routine. And that was it. She texted me after, that she was not calling by routine but to chat - I wrote back that I don't enjoy these chats anymore because she is negative and boring, two things I hate about a girl.

    Next day we have seen each other in school but didn't talk. In the afternoon I went to see her (still at school) and we had some fight again. We were basically hurting each other in every verbal way we could. Then she started crying that she is stressful and can't handle her social life, and she is like this with her family and friends too. She used the word that she is 'wired'. We have got over arguing. I told her that there is no point in our relationship anymore and let's finish it. She agreed, we hugged each other and told goodbye. I started to cry (we were both in tears). I have always used to be one of the mentally strongest people of my age but this was too much. I was in love with a girl who completely changed in the time of a week and totally destroyed our relationship, and I was forced to say that it is over. She told me that we will see after the finals what we want from each other, and whatever I felt about the last weeks I made her really happy. Next day at school she was almost crying.

    I was so unsecure und unsure of the reasons of this breakup that I decided to act as if she broke up with me (it should have happened but I was the more decisive). I didn't initiate contact with her for 4 or 5 days, then she texted me. She told that she takes it hard. I told her to move on and always try to be happy. Then she told that we didn't seperate like this. I told I don't know how we should act just a few days after breaking up. After she told me this, I talked to her in school for a few days and she was happy about it, always smiling when we chatted. Then I stopped initiating any contact. She tried to reach me but I was not too open - I always replied with texts ending '' but was not too communicative. But after 5 or 6 days of not talking she would always text me or come to me at school. When we talked she was a bit cold, though. There was a time when we were standing next to each other, I asked her how are you, tell me something interesting and she answered with 'nothing'. We stood there for like 5 minutes watching a play in the school and didn't say a word.

    Soon after, I told her that I want to talk to her (we are almost a month after the breakup). We met for like 20 minutes and I asked her the real reason of our breakup. I told her I felt she has lost attraction and felt rejected, and she agreed. Then I told her that this is awkward for me and I want her to give me some space. Say hello and smile when we see each other but no more. She seemed a bit nervous and uncomfortable about the idea and told me that she is still interested in what happens with me. Then I left and we haven't contacted for a 3 weeks. She constantly likes my statuses or updates on facebook, but she deleted the pictures of us together (she did that well after the breakup, when we talked sparingly those were still there). Then she wrote me on facebook that her 5 year old sister says that she is in love with me with a smiley in the end, I wrote back after 2 hours that these *family name* girls have a good taste in men and please tell her sister that i think she's going to be very pretty. She didn't reply.

    I still don't know what to believe, should I make contact or not, wait for her to come to me if she becomes desperate...Any advice? Am I getting good signals that she is initiating contact? Thanks in advance and sorry for confusing use of language here and there.

  3. #3
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    OOKĖ is offline PUA Forums Moderator
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    Default Re: Detailed story of a complicated girl

    I would suggest summarizing it the best you can. Leave out any unimportant details.

    Also, look out for any combination of symbols in your text that could be causing this issue. In general, try to leave out any unessesary symbols.

    Symbols that usually cause this issue are...
    -Forward Slashes
    -Back Slashes
    -Hyphens
    -Colons

    If you're still finding an error of some sort, feel free to PM me your post in any way possible, and I can revise it for the issue.
    Always feel free to PM me

  4. #4
    samitos is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Detailed story of a complicated girl

    Thank you, I have managed to solve it.

  5. #5
    samitos is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Detailed story of a complicated girl

    Come on guys, now replies yet. Please share your ideas even if you don't have many

  6. #6
    Cr0wbar is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Detailed story of a complicated girl

    Sounds like she unintentionally cheated on you and felt guilty.


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