I know a shy/quiet hb9 who gets hit on a lot and is fairly defensive. I haven't seen her date in the 2 years i've roughly known her.
I was friends with for a while, but only really started chilling with her in the last few months. I used to invite her out not thinking much of it (she would travel into town from the subburbs to hang with me). I have a lot of pretty female friends I hang out with but wouldn't usually invite them when shes around... although she probably figured they were around. She also has guys she hangs out with. She would often have photos of them on her BBM.
Her fam is fairly strict and try to get her to focus on school. She keeps her friends apart from me, ive met them once or twice... she never mentions other guys... and i've met her family once or twice (once where her sister threw down "ohhh you must be so and so"... i'm pretty much a seperate world from her main world but they seem to all know about me. I did meet most of them (including the guys/orbiters) on her bday and pretty much got "who is this outsider?" type looks... they are all tight.
Last few months we start flirting back and forth a lot, LOADS of IOIs... she would even kino escalate a bit. She stopped posting photos of her and her guy friends (I probably asked who her friend was once or twice) Recently I caught her staring at me, flirting, asking about "girls" I know... she was acting very pseudo girlfriend (which I didn't mind).
For example, she mentioned a girl who came to hang out with us at the beach a year ago; "Who was that cute italian girl who came out with us that one time?". Once we were at dinner and I was checking my phone and forgot what I was checking and mentioned it out loud... she drops "must have been checking on all your dates". somewhat in an inquisitive tone... from this type of behaviour I assumed she was a bit jealous and prodding. (i must have mentioned other girls before, but always made sure it was in a friend context... just as if she mentioned any guy ever she made sure to mention they were just a friend).
One time, I went out with a group of friends, she came, 3-4 chick friends and 2 of my guy friends. I know one of the HB9 friends I invited was into me and they seemed to be sizing each other up at the event, she wanted to split our meals and share and be all cute and such... Eventually the original girl started snapping a bunch of fun photos of the two of us. Pretty couply looking and she kept them up for a few days.
So after all the jealous behaviour most recently I though, know what... shes cute she seems into me so I'll ask her out instead of just keeping her around as my pseudo lady friend... I told her I wanted to take her out for dinner... and tried being all coy and giving me the "Whyyyyyyy". crap... which usually in the past i'd play it off and she'd agree. But I thought I would be more forward and tell her I wanted to take her "on a date". I never used that term with her, we usually hung out (dinner, outings, hanging out at the beach, etC).
"A date? To be honest I didn't see it like that at all, seeing as you have so many girl friends. Just thought that's how it was with us also.
I played it off as not being awkward and that I just thought we seemed into each other lately and we should "Explore the idea" and in addition that I was fine if she saw it otherwise.
I have the rest of the conversation... but basically she made it sound like she thought I was just another of her guy friends, and thats all she sees it as. I've dealt with enough girls to see when a girl is interested.
a) Perhaps I came off too AFC when i asked.
b) She just likes having guys around her and leads them on...
c) She genuinely wasn't interested (which I don't believe)
d) She thinks i'm a bit of a player and got defensive/scared?.
Things have been kind of awkward since (week) and i've given her a bit of cold shoulder... it kind of feels like a challenge to see if I can turn this one around. I'm a little confused because typically i'm not wrong when I see the actions/signs a girl shows like she did... all the little things should add up. The final result is what i'm lost on... wtf happened? perhaps she just likes her orbiters (or another guy).
As a side note, I went out on dates with 2 other girls after since I think i was starting to like the girl too much. i'd see lots of potential with her and want to explore it... meanwhile i'm going to keep myself occupied and keep dating other girls.
Thoughts? advice?... freeze out? act like it isn't a big deal?
sorry if i posted this in a wrong website section