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  1. #1
    silkymp is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How to be taken seriously? Not just a friend.

    I've always had a problem with women not taking me seriously or viewing me as a good guy. No one laughs or anything, I just can't seem to get into a relationship. I'm rather laid back and easy going, but sometimes lack the words that keeps things interesting. How can I change this percepection and start creating more fire and passion on a first date? My last date was awesome, but, it failed because I didn't create any butterflies in her stomach. Think I was protayed as the "nice guy" when in fact I'm not a doormat just very chill. What to do?

    piece of latest date's rejection email "your very smart, charming and fun to talk to.....unfortunately I didn't feel a strong connection"

  2. #2
    rs5096's Avatar
    rs5096 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to be taken seriously? Not just a friend.

    Hey Silky,

    Seems to me you already know your problem: Think I was portrayed as the "nice guy" when in fact I'm not a doormat just very chill.

    You need to be less chill, less laid back ,less easy going. Those are the words you have used to describe yourself.

    You need to man up bro'. This doesn't mean you have to become a jerk (and I certainly would not encourage that you become one) but portraying a few "bad boy" attributes is a good thing.

    Listen, to change an effect you need to change the cause.

    Here the effect is that you're coming across as the proverbial nice guy. If you don't change the cause (laid back, easy going, chill) you going to keep landing up with this problem. Make sense?

    Hope this helps
    rs5096

  3. #3
    silkymp is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to be taken seriously? Not just a friend.

    It does make sense. I just don't know how to be something I'm not.

  4. #4
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    rs5096 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to be taken seriously? Not just a friend.

    Hi silky,

    To change there are 2 basic requirements. 1 - you must want to change. 2 - you must expect that you will succeed in changing.

    Change in itself is a good thing. It means you are growing providing the change is positive and forward.

    The success of the pua movement is built on the premise that your change is for the better. It is a fundametal which i believe to be true. Don't take the easy road by saying this is me. Take it or leave it. With this attitude the world will pass you by.

    That is what is so great about game. Your improvements are actually holistic and all encompassing. Put in the effort, find the style and methods that speak to you but make sure they are proven and then my friend watch just how awesome life has suddenly become.

    rs5096

  5. #5
    silkymp is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to be taken seriously? Not just a friend.

    Your right! I just need a different mind set and a little jump start to my personality. You have any good articles you could recommend? Dating in your 30's sucks.

    Thanks

  6. #6
    SonnyCurtis is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to be taken seriously? Not just a friend.

    Absolutely nothing wrong with being laid back and chill. If that's how you are don't change that. The most important thing you can do is be yourself. But don't use "I'm laid back" as an excuse to be boring. You have to make an effort. You have to be interesting. If you lack for conversation topics maybe you need to get out and do more interesting things. Or just work on your social skills in general. You have to keep your energy positive too - positive and laid back is everyone's favorite combination. Think Wiz Khalifa. Bob Marley. Dudes are so laid back but they are by no means boring people. You gotta stay positive or else being laid back just makes you seem boring, depressed, tired, angry, sick, whatever shitty adjective.

    I like gaming as a laid back dude. If you play it right it makes things a whole lot easier. You know girls are attracted to "mysterious" guys. Being laid back is the perfect way to exude that persona. And you'll be surprised at how girls start working for you if you play it right. All you have to do is sit back, fan the flames just enough, and watch as the girls start throwing out IoIs. There will be points where you have to pounce. She will let you know when she's ready for you to come at her. Good thing about being laid back is you're able to be observant and take everything in - you'll know when it's time to pounce. If you just shut up and watch it's not that hard to see.

  7. #7
    rs5096's Avatar
    rs5096 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to be taken seriously? Not just a friend.

    Hey Silky,

    In terms of articles:

    Virgil's newbie guide is a great place to start: The Newbie Guide

    Also check out Pook's 15 lessons: http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...son-1-2-a.html

    Hope this helps
    rs5096


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