Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    SocialSnake is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 69, Level: 1
    Level completed: 38%, Points required for next Level: 31
    Overall activity: 0%
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    4
    Points
    69
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Need help analyzing my FIRST DATE EVER

    Hey guys,

    An AFC here and my first few minutes on the site and already writing a post. Here's the deal. I'm 21 years old and have never had any intimate sort of relations with any girl (i.e. not even kissed or held hands).
    I'm by no means ugly, or so I'm led to believe my my mums friends and girl friends (vs. girlfriend). I'm athletic, fit, in good shape I reckon as I hit the gym thrice a week, and do yoga twice. I was asked out in high-school a couple of times but I declined as I wasn't particularly interested in them and since then, no one has really expressed an interest in me. I've never been on a "date" until a few weeks ago with a girl I met through an online dating site. Now I didn't explicitly ask her out on a date, but as I payed for the movie and dinner, I reckon my intentions were put forth.

    So I ask her Little Miss Rainbow (Brunette, 170cm but wore heels so she was a little taller than me, and then said "Sorry I should have worn my flats", a definite QT though) to meet me 45 mins early just in case she gets lost. We plan to meet at a train station that's sort of nearby, so we can then walk to the theatre. She texts me saying she'll be a 5-10 minutes late. When this doesn't happen, I text her asking "Are you alright? Not lost are you?", to which she responds that she's "stuck in traffic, I'll meet you at the theatre". So after waiting for about 30 minutes in the cold expecting her to be at the train station, I head over to the theatre. I'm a little disgruntled but I'm used to my friends being super late sometimes sop it didn't bother me TOO much.

    So I get to the theatre and wait for her at the top of the escalators. She finally arrives, 5 minutes after the start of the feature. She says "Sorry for being late", to which I reply "No problem, I just hope we don't miss anything". ---NOTE: This is my first "date" ever--- I walk ahead of her and sort of forget to hold the door for her, which I realize immediately after I get into the theatre *I'm thinking, fark well now she thinks I don't have any manners/am not chivalrous | Am I over-thinking or analyzing this?* We watch the movie, which was excellent, and head to dinner.

    Now we get some time to actually start talking and finding out a little bit more about each other. We discuss the movie, where we're from etc and have a few laughs, in fact, the whole 10 hours we spent together, I presume she was having quite a bit of fun because we would just sorta crack each other up effortlessly, even silly things sometimes *an IOI I believe?*. ---NOTE: The whole night, there was no kino, not from her, or myself. Is this bad? I sort of get into my head about kino and am too nervous/scared to just randomly touch her lightly on the arm or something---

    After dinner, I'm don't really know where to go so I ask her where she wants to go, or what she wants to do. She just says "It's up to you". I tell her I was thinking about checking out a super moon (which is larger and brighter than usual) at the local planetarium. I quickly add that "It's still too bright now, so perhaps later". So we sort of wander around downtown aimlessly chit chatting away for about 20 minutes. We finally end up at Starbucks and sit and continue to talk non-stop for a good 15 minutes or so. ---NOTE: I think I show that I'm a little non-ALPHA because I seemed a little unsure where and what to do while we were wandering about, and whenever I asked her, she replied "It's up to you". It felt like a test...---

    So now it's finally dark enough we head over to the planetarium. There's a good crowd there so we wait in line for about 30 minutes to look through the telescope. *There ARE periods where we don't talk for a minute or two in the darkness and agree that we can both check our phones for texts/missed calls- is this bad? Or is it okay to get a break and a bit of silence?* It's kinda cool cause we got to see Saturn and it's rings, as well as Venus and Mars. The main feature, the super moon hasn't risen above the treeline yet. I say "Do you want to stay or wanna go?" because the telescope was going to close in 45 minutes. Naturally she said "It's up to you". I say "Well I think it'll be pretty dope" so we stand in line and wait for about 45 minutes, only for the people to tell us we need to leave because it's "Time up". I try to show some assertiveness by going back to the people and asking them whether or not "we could just take a really quick peek", but I get shut down.

  2. #2
    SocialSnake is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 69, Level: 1
    Level completed: 38%, Points required for next Level: 31
    Overall activity: 0%
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    4
    Points
    69
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Need help analyzing my FIRST DATE EVER

    Now it's about 12.30am. We head back downtown so she can get her bus to go home. We get a little lost and she tells me that there's this "bus loop here I swear", and so we try look for it by hopping onto another bus. This bus takes us around and we see a stop where we SHOULD HAVE gotten off, but we didn't as I was following her on her "bus loop" tour. At the end of the bus' route, I ask the driver "Is there a bus loop here?" to which he replies "Nope". He tells us that he swings back to the street where we should have gotten off. I then quip "This is quite LITERALLY the bus LOOP you were talking about huh?" and she laughs furiously. She tells me if she can't get her bus back, she'd walk 4 hours back home. I'm like "No way you can crash my place, and then I can sleep outside on the couch". I brought this up each time she said she'd walk home for 4.5 hours at 0230 in the morning, but she didn't directly acknowledge what I said, or decline it. She even offered to call a pay for a cab for me to get home which I thought was a little weird (it could have been because I said I usually head to sleep around 12-1am and seemed a little tired). I ofcourse, refused.

    So... the worst part. The goodbye. I even hate doing this with my friends, or at parties because I don't know who I should say bye too, or if we do a special bye handshake etc. So I say to her "You know what maybe do you want to do next Saturday or something?" as I have been trying to get her to go try out for the first time. She says "Sure". A few minutes after, her bus arrives. *F@CKKKKK* She says "Do you want me to wait for your one?" I say "No no no no, it's okay I'm pretty sure the bus behind yours is mine" (which it did turn out to be). So as she leaves, I give her a kind of awkward hug; one of those PAINFUL hugs where you sort of stand at a little distance and embrace each other, but not tightly, with your arm barely touching their back. She said "Oh, a hug", or "Oh so we're hugging" (Something like that, i can't really remember) *What does this mean? I'm not sure if what I did was wrong; I MAY have detected a little disappointment, like she expected me to kiss her? but without the kino I didn't think this would be appropriate*

    So we text each other on the bus a little and I get home before her as she lives a ways away. I tell her I'm gonna crash and we say goodnight though she still has an hour left on her ride. ---SLEEPNIG--- First thing I do when I wake up though is text her "Did you make it home okay?" and she says "Yup [IMG]file:///C:%5CUsers%5CLIQUID% 7E1%5CAppData%5CLoca l%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlcl ip1%5C01%5Cclip_imag e002.png[/IMG]"

    SUMMARY:
    -Lots of laughs
    -Gave her a sh1t sometimes (in a good way)
    -NO kino whatsoever (at least no direct, when we were walking she bumped into me a couple of times and apologized saying "I suck at walking next to people, I sort of always not walk straight and bump into people")
    -Detected perhaps a little disappointment when I gave her a hug
    -I felt like I wasn't alpha/decisive enough in where we were going after dinner

    I hope you guys can help. I'd really love just to settle with someone and get into a serious relationship. I'm not looking for ONS as, at least as a virgin, I seek more emotional attachment than physical satisfaction.

    Peace,

    SocialSnake

  3. #3
    SonnyCurtis is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 1,849, Level: 25
    Level completed: 49%, Points required for next Level: 51
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    195
    Points
    1,849
    Level
    25
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    86

    Default Re: Need help analyzing my FIRST DATE EVER

    Kino is important. It may seem forced but it doesn't have to be. In fact I reckon natural kind of kino is the best kind. As a dude without a lot of experience it may seem unnatural right now. You may have to force it a little, then you'll get positive reactions, and then you'll start getting more comfortable with it. Then you'll start doing it naturally. Try kinoing with everybody. Shake hands with your friends/acquaintances, shake hands with your bros and give them a little bro hug (half-hug, shake hands and pat on the back thing), hug your mom. Hug your girl friends. Just get used to touching people. Then it won't be so weird to touch a girl you like. And the platonic touching can escalate into intimate touching, then farking, etc.

    I guess the idea of kino in PUA is that it gives the girl a little sample of touching you/a hint of sexuality. But I like to think of it this way. You know why you didn't know if a kiss was appropriate? Because you lacked kino earlier. It's hard to make the jump from not touching her at all to kissing her. The kino escalation fills in the gaps for you. That way you're more comfortable kissing her - it was just the "next step".

    When she said "I suck at walking next to people" and bumped into you, you shoulda said something like "haha yeah me too" and playfully bumped into her. It'll get her laughing. It's kino. It's natural. If the timing is right a kiss wouldn't be far behind.

    The "oh we're hugging" part. The implied statement was "oh we're hugging, not kissing..." Dude, she wanted you to kiss her. From what I read it sounds like the date went really well. I think she was mad into you. You should have kiss closed. But don't beat yourself up over it. Live and learn. Next time, kino some more and kiss close. The fact that you didn't kiss close already may mess up your chances with this one. But may as well try. If it doesn't work out then you know for the next girl.

    Another thing. Easier said than done but try not to analyze sh1t so much like this. Yeah it's your first date and all, I get it. It sounds like you had a good time so quit worrying about every little move you made. Learn from your mistakes but don't dwell on every little thing. Here's life summed up for you - Live. Learn. Repeat. You've learned, forget about that chapter now and move on to the next adventure. Good luck bud!

  4. #4
    Sex&DatingRebecca is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 118, Level: 2
    Level completed: 36%, Points required for next Level: 32
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Home of Robin Hood - Nottingham Uk
    Posts
    6
    Points
    118
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Need help analyzing my FIRST DATE EVER

    Hi SocialSnake,



    Great advice from SonnyCurtis.

    I think you did really well for your first date! I don’t think you should over analyze or be too hard on yourself. I think she was very lucky to have you take her on a date. I didn't have a date as good as that when I was in my early twenties.

    I mean she stayed with you for 10 hours! She likes you - a lot. Most first dates wouldn’t necessarily last that long – maybe 3-4 hours if you were getting along.

    You showed assertiveness, and leadership.

    Definitely you needed to experiment with Kino, the problem is you’re now conscious of it and thinking about it too much – so it could appear awkward and uncomfortable if you randomly touch her. It’s an essential part of building rapport. If you don’t escalate Kino pretty sharpish you might end up falling into the dreaded friend trap.

    When she was bumping into you walking, that’s her initiating Kino… this is when you could have laughed assertively taken her arm/hand and said ‘yes you’re pretty bad at walking next to people – I’ll steady you’ or doing as SonnyCurtis suggested.

    It has to be natural, and to add to what SonnyCurtis has said another way to build up comfort with kino would be to maybe start a salsa class. Salsa classes are usually short of men, and because it’s a sensual dance you it’s very intimate – a few classes at salsa and you’ll be well on your way.

    As long as you have a connection with someone they won’t mind appropriate touch, and you have the connection with her, the signs are there so go for it!

    Little things you could do is when she is facing one way lightly touch her arm to turn her direction round to point and look at something, or let her get a pace ahead and then put your hand on her shoulder to change the direction where you are going. You could do the ‘high five’ at an appropriate moment, Google a bit about palm reading, and ask her for her hand, and trace the lines on her hand as you tell her her future… or just make it up and give her a giggle… ‘You’re going to meet this very charming man who you are going to fall madly in love with (and something to hint that it is specifically you you’re talking about – something about your appearance or something you have both done together). You can also flick or brush away an imaginary bug or bit of fluff off her shoulder.

    She sooo wanted you to kiss her at the end of your date – but all that alpha assertive male stuff was lost because you panicked and worried at the end. There’s no eye contact with hugging… the best thing you could have done is to take both her hands looked her straight in the eye and expressed what a great time you had, and pulled her in for the kiss.

    Next time you can say to her ‘I’m not letting you escape without a kiss this time’



    I hope some of this helps

  5. #5
    SocialSnake is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 69, Level: 1
    Level completed: 38%, Points required for next Level: 31
    Overall activity: 0%
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    4
    Points
    69
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Need help analyzing my FIRST DATE EVER

    Thank you for such detailed replies SonnyCurtis and Sex&DatingRebecca! Yeah I definitely realize that kino isn't in my repertoire yet but I'll work on it. I mean I definitely do lots of "bro hugs" with guy friends, and give bear hugs to girls that I know, it's just I get all in my head with girls that I want to be more than friends with.

    As for kino, there are a few extremely attractive girls in my class and always touch me; lightly touching me on the forearm or leg, and others a bit more forcefully (lightly bashing me). They all have boyfriends or else I would have thought they were hitting on me...

    I'm planning on taking her out again this weekend for paintball since I play very often, and she hasn't played once. I have two full sets of gear so I can show her the ropes: how to set up the marker, how to aim properly and stance, so I expect that I'll be kino'ing her just as a byproduct of getting her form right.

    Thank you both once again,

    SocialSnake

    PS. Gotta start reading up on keeping texting interesting. I find it sort of fizzles out sometimes.


Similar Threads

  1. Is this an IOI or am I over analyzing?
    By Pzark41 in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 05-07-2012, 12:17 PM
  2. Date 1 Success! But have I stuffed any chance of a second date?
    By thedatenator in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 6
    Last Thread: 03-28-2012, 07:09 PM
  3. First date success - problems with 2nd date
    By Riddle in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 5
    Last Thread: 01-15-2011, 01:11 PM
  4. Date profile in date websites
    By Newbee in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 04-04-2010, 03:59 PM
  5. Date machine: Dream Date??
    By RokStarz in forum Field Reports
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 01-04-2008, 04:47 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com