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  1. #1
    HxCBaseDrop is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need help on Confidence and Inner Game

    Hi guys, long time lurker, first time poster. I'm an AFC and need help with my confidence and inner game. I tend to be shy and quiet, so if you guys have any methods or any material to help me out with this situation it would be much appreciated!

  2. #2
    Cody's Avatar
    Cody is offline PUA All Star (RETIRED)
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    Default Re: Need help on Confidence and Inner Game

    Virgil's the guy to talk to about being a newbie (Sorry Virgil, I don't mean to be your little bitch. It's just most posts I see for newbies you hook them up lol) So hit up his wall or PM him.

    Alternatively/Also, check out Owen Cook [Tyler Durden] on Youtube. He's got some solid seminars on confidence and inner game.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  3. #3
    SonnyCurtis is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help on Confidence and Inner Game

    Whatever problems you have in your life, girls ain't gonna solve 'em. Girls aren't gonna come into your life and make it awesome. Your life has to be awesome on its own merit. By awesome I don't mean perfect. You have to be an adventurer. There will be ups and downs - that's life. But you have to find what you love and follow that dream. You roll with the punches and you make life your bitch. Not the other way around. If you can do that the girls won't be able to stay away.

    I understand you want to get better with girls. So do I. A lot of us do. Confidence and inner game will help you with that. They will help a lot. Here's the first step in that journey - accept that you want to become a better man simply on the merit of the fact alone! Because you want to realize your potential. Because you feel you have more to offer yourself and to the world than what you are offering now. Not just because you want to get better with girls. Girls are a part of it but they are NOT the reason. Realizing this is step one. Meditate on that if you must. The sooner you grasp it the sooner you will be able to take the steps you need to live a more fulfilling life.

    Let me tell you a quick story. I fell and broke my arm a few months ago. I had to have surgery. I was out of commission for awhile, couldn't do the things normal people take for granted and was even bedridden for a week or so. It was in that period where I found my dream. If you're ever put in a situation where you can't perform the basic functions of life, much less the fun/entertaining/truly fulfilling things... in that moment, the thing that you miss doing the most - that is what you were born to do. Find out what that dream of yours is. Don't wimp out and put it on the backburner. Follow that dream. The girls will come.

  4. #4
    HxCBaseDrop is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help on Confidence and Inner Game

    Thank you mr.onethousand, those videos will help out a lot (that guy can make a fool out of himself and STILL get women) And thank you SonnyCurtis, that was one hell of a post, you brought a new meaning of self confidence to me.

  5. #5
    Virgil's Avatar
    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Need help on Confidence and Inner Game

    I always used to be shy and quiet when I grew up. That finally changed when I was eighteen and came into a new class where a small group of normal, reasonably popular guys started to accept me as one of them. Before that, I was bullied and my friends were all in the "nerd group". I'm not trying to put those people down, they were really good friends, but being considered so low in the food and love chain doesn't give you much confidence when interacting with anyone from a "higher level" on those chains. Hanging out with the reasonably popular guys improved my confidence in interacting with the lads.

    My confidence with women grew when I discovered PUA, which also gave my confidence with the lads another boost. Especially when I read a book on becoming an alpha male. When I incorporated what I read, I could really feel my confidence rising. So I really recommend getting one of those. I read "How To Become An Alpha Male" by John Alexander.

    As a shy person, I was still considered not to be talkative, even though my confidence had grown a lot. I guess we're so used to just doing our thing we don't notice people find us quiet. I'm far less quiet by now, but when my confidence went up, it was still true for quite some time. Here is a thread that is good for getting some conversational skills. Those can also be applied on your mates and family and stuff.

    You have to start talking more to friends, family, classmates, co-workers, etc. if you want to become more chatty.

    Also, if you don't have a lot of mates, try to find more. Invite some guy you know with a similar interest to do something. Go along with your cousins to hang out with them and their friends. Hanging out with people you know will introduce you to new people - new potential friends.

    If you get invited to do something, and I have to stress this as it's a mistake I used to make, say 'yes'. People that want to spend time with you will invite you twice, and if you say 'no' both times, they'll move on 'cause they either think you're boring or you don't want to hang out with them.

    Once you have more friends and you know them better, you can start saying 'no' if you don't want to hang out. Then you'll know enough people to spend time with others if you "lose" them. That way you will also filter the ones out that don't really have the same interests as you, but you hung out with to gain friends and people skills.



    @mr.onethousand Nah, that's ok. I guess I am kind of the "newbie helper guy". It seems to be my field of expertise, which is only good. Besides, I like helping people. It makes me feel good inside. So keep 'em coming.

    And don't apologise!!!!!


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