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  1. #1
    Zinkhun's Avatar
    Zinkhun is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Online dating - how to carry on

    Hi!

    So I am new to the game and right now trying myself out on online dating sites. I have a template message which works well, but sometimes I feel like I got Her attention, She finds it funny and She respond, but I don't know how to handle this kind of responses well. So here is what response I got last time:

    My template thingy:
    "Hi!
    I saw your profile and I wanted to write instantly, but I suppose you have been pursued by the usual pushy guys and people asked the usual questions like what do you do for a living or what do you do in your free time, so how about We do a little different this time?
    We are standing on an airport and thinking where should we travel. Where would you go?"

    The latest response I got:
    "Hehe I would choose one which takes me to a beautiful island "

    Keep in mind this is just a translation

    So what you guys suggest how should I carry on after a "passive" response like this one?

  2. #2
    Zinkhun's Avatar
    Zinkhun is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Online dating - how to carry on

    Any good advice on this matter?

  3. #3
    simple123 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Online dating - how to carry on

    Hey Beautiful, an island with two of us like adam and eve makes wonderful .I'm up for it.

  4. #4
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Online dating - how to carry on

    'I know a thai restaurant with lush tropical island decor. Join me for a taste of paradise?' Or... 'I know a bar with colorful refreshing tropical cocktails...join me for a drink this week? Our own private island.'

    With your introduction you have in a way successfully bypassed a lot of chit chat and brought it to a point of her giving you an island destination lead...it's not passive at all...she's showing you what she desires and waiting for you to now take the lead...but the only issue with that is you yourself have been pushy in a sense that because you have bypassed all the chit chat you now need to actually take her to an island! Well not literally but you need to come through with the goods on your travel question and somehow turn that travel vision into reality. Asking her out straight away will continue your ascertiveness but also carries the risk of being too quick to asking for a date when neither of you have found out some of the basic information that boring chit chat reveals. So your now sort of left with either having to continue talking about an island, trying another similar sort of question, going back to chit chat or asking her out.

    I don't try any gimmicks or any silly pickup lines with online dating. I would initially write something real quick, simple and curious like 'Hi ____ nice to meet you. I am a smart, funny, honest, successful, handsome and creative guy. It would be nice to chat sometime. Hope you have a nice day.' I don't write anything about her, except her name or handle, because of course I don't know her yet and being a 'successful smart guy' Im not going to waste any time doing that. She will know that I am also writing this sort of introduction to other girls so she better bite or she will loose me to someone else.

    It seems bland but it doesn't matter, along with my profile and my picture it is usually enough to get a response and it is subtley cocky and confident. Whatever I would write I end it with 'hope you have a nice day'. It's not going to win any politzer prizes but again it doesn't matter because I'm seeding in my contact very quickly a few of the things all women look for: 'honesty, success, intelligence, humour, creativity, good looks, generousity (have a nice day)'. Basically my introduction is simply to find out if they are active online or not, or will write back, or to rapidly tick all the womens selection criteria boxes. Only waste time with gimmick questions when you have something going already or the girl is different like extremely popular or a kooky gothic chick or something that requires a twist. And my initial contact is not an exam asking all sorts of trivial questions. Girls only need to write me back 'Hi' and its enough for me to go on.

    Whatever their response is I straight away ask if they use chat programs like msn or QQ. It's much easier, real time and less formal to get to know each other and your not waiting idle between emails. It also starts a conversation flow that has nothing to do with chit chat or pick up line gimmicks. Often girls will straight away give me their msn in their first response or you can actually work it out from their hotmail address too. On my first messaging chat I will ask, when the conversation is going well, 'hey how about I call you up in person?'. If they are a genuine girl and genuinely interested they will say yes and let you call them. Its much more intimate and revealing than chat but not as confronting as a date. On the phone you each get a chance to hear each others voice and general confidence. I don't talk for too long, just enough to keep her inspired, a few funny charming lines and then I ask her out at the end. 'Lets meet up'. Everything is a sequence to get to meet her in real life because like my profile said 'Im successful and smart' . All of my actions are subtley providing evidence of what I wrote in my first contact. If they don't use those sorts of chat programs I ask for their number as soon as I can via email where I can then text or call. If they think asking for a number so soon is being too forward I simply tell them I have no idea who they really are from the internet and I'm not really into wasting time looking for a pen pal. Either are they right!!??

    There are quite a lot of girls that will lazily sit back from the security of their computer getting the ego boost of having guys write to them and flatter them but not always so keen to meet up. You need to find that out quickly and ignore them or make them have to meet you. If they are single and you are not the elephant man there is no reason why they shouldn't meet you, otherwise they should not be on a dating site.

    The types of girls you want to be dating usually will give you their number and will meet up fairly quickly because if they are good looking and smart they will also not be time wasters or so insecure. They will recognise the same in you as there are also lots of men out there that waste extraordinary amounts of time and energy writing off tricks and sleaze into the ether without anything coming to fruition. So I say go for it and board that plane to meeting her in person.


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