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  1. #1
    observer12 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Slept with a girl, kept in touch, but she's flakey & vague about seeing me

    Hi, slightly long story but I would really appreciate some help.
    I met a girl a few nights ago and it went really well. We had initially chatted on match dot com but she wouldn't commit to a date and went silent, saying she was really busy. I pretty much thought she was a waste of time and I cheekily asked her if she just wanted to hook up instead. Surprisingly, she said that was tempting - but she would prefer to be a good girl and date properly, if only she had time. Two weeks ago she asked me out of the blue to meet for a drink that night. I was busy, but she did the same thing a week later. It was very relaxed and we had a good talk, but still I was surprised when she asked me if I wanted to stay over at her place. She took me upstairs before we had even kissed and she waited for me to make the move. I could tell the sex was really good for both of us, and the way we talked and cuddled etc. for the rest of the night and next morning made it clear this wasn't just emotionally cold sex with someone she doesn't really like. I kissed her goodbye and told her I really want to see her again. She said she didn't know when she would be free next.
    Since then we have exchanged a few fun messages on facebook but she is slow replying, or doesn't always reply. She is really the same flakey and elusive person she was before. I know she likes me but I'm having trouble figuring her out. She has a busy life, is independent, and does things on her terms. But why is she on Match.com saying she wants a relationship if she has no time to date? If it was a one night stand she wouldn't add me on facebook and keep in touch. I think if I just wait she will ask to see me eventually but that could be ages. And I get the feeeling that if I call her she will ignore me because she likes to initiate contact, and then only when she wants to see me. She has always refused to plan a meeting in advance, and instead called me on the night. I don't mind if we just hook up occasionally rather than dating but I need to know what our situation is.
    Should I wait and see what she does, or try to call her and clarify whats going on?

  2. #2
    Poeticly Skuac is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Slept with a girl, kept in touch, but she's flakey & vague about seeing

    Quote Originally Posted by observer12 View Post
    Hi, slightly long story but I would really appreciate some help.
    I met a girl a few nights ago and it went really well. We had initially chatted on match dot com but she wouldn't commit to a date and went silent, saying she was really busy. I pretty much thought she was a waste of time and I cheekily asked her if she just wanted to hook up instead. Surprisingly, she said that was tempting - but she would prefer to be a good girl and date properly, if only she had time. Two weeks ago she asked me out of the blue to meet for a drink that night. I was busy, but she did the same thing a week later. It was very relaxed and we had a good talk, but still I was surprised when she asked me if I wanted to stay over at her place. She took me upstairs before we had even kissed and she waited for me to make the move. I could tell the sex was really good for both of us, and the way we talked and cuddled etc. for the rest of the night and next morning made it clear this wasn't just emotionally cold sex with someone she doesn't really like. I kissed her goodbye and told her I really want to see her again. She said she didn't know when she would be free next.
    Since then we have exchanged a few fun messages on facebook but she is slow replying, or doesn't always reply. She is really the same flakey and elusive person she was before. I know she likes me but I'm having trouble figuring her out. She has a busy life, is independent, and does things on her terms. But why is she on Match.com saying she wants a relationship if she has no time to date? If it was a one night stand she wouldn't add me on facebook and keep in touch. I think if I just wait she will ask to see me eventually but that could be ages. And I get the feeeling that if I call her she will ignore me because she likes to initiate contact, and then only when she wants to see me. She has always refused to plan a meeting in advance, and instead called me on the night. I don't mind if we just hook up occasionally rather than dating but I need to know what our situation is.
    Should I wait and see what she does, or try to call her and clarify whats going on?
    There is a power in attraction- The person who cares the least is the person who has the most power in attraction. If you keep sending double messages before she gets back to you she is probably seeing you as lower value or too attached which can kill attraction.

    How often are you contacting her? If you are contacting her daily or even every other day and she isn't getting back to you consistently you need to back off. Too much contact is caring too much.

    What type of messages are you sending? They should be fun and flirtatious and you should be making her smile with your messages, that should be your goal so she remembers why she is attracted to you.

    The situation is currently that you guys hooked up, leave it what it is. If you guys were in a relationship you guys would be hanging out.

    Are you sure the sex was good? Most people aren't as good at sex as they think. I know plenty of women who feel confident in their sexual powers that shouldn't be. I know plenty of men that think they are good but I've heard quite the opposite from women who'd been with them. I'm not saying you were a bad sexual partner but it isn't out of the question, if you were really good I promise she'd call you back because she'd be thinking about you.
    The Key to Natural Game is Body Language, If you want natural game you best learn to read 93% of the message.


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