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  1. #1
    Heretolistenandlearn is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Old flame? Or bad game? This is my story guys - Help me write it! :)

    Hey guys! I've following this forum for awhile - getting specific advice for 'special occasions' =P And first of all I wanna say thanks for your wonderful forum: filled with facts; theories; and observations readily available to anyone and all! =D

    But on this particular occasion, my use of the search function has proven unsatisfying, and I throw myself on the floor before your wisdom!

    2 years ago, I had a 6-month long fling with 'Daisy' (Her name's not Daisy :P). Was a very fun time for both of us, because we clicked the first party we met and spent some 'quality time' together at least once a week with never any bumps or hiccups! I was playing it quite sporadic and distant back then, never following any set pattern of texting/planning dates and well it was very effective as far as a fling is concerned (she was very specific to me a few times about recently getting out of a relationship and 'hating' bfs. later I would find this to be false) lol.

    One day we crossed paths without arranging to meet up, and after a short exchange: Daisy walked on away from me, at which point I thought - "i aint running after no b1t3h xD" and continued about my business, and well guys - that was it. I didnt want to make the next move because I felt the ball was very much in her court, and we never heard from eachother again!

    Past 2 years? Yeah they been pretty good! I must stress that I was not 'pining' for Daisy (lest this be a deluded case of oneitis =P), I did however feel unsatisfied with how something so nice vanished like a fart in the wind!

    Fast forward to 1 week ago. Me and my housemate went out for a female friend's birthday where for the first time in 2 years... I saw 'Daisy' =D! I said hello and it was -very- awkward (understandable imho :P). Didn't want to push it too quickly - we all had arranged to go to a club later that night so I was just doing my very best to just play the party cool (thanks to you guys!). Later, when we went to the club - me and my housemate got knocked back! Not for anything uncouth imho - we speculated the club might been a bit over male populated, but we could be wrong! I just walked away after ensuring the birthday girl could get in xD (thoughts on that?)

    So where's this going you ask :P? Well I sit here after a very unusual night involving our beloved 'Daisy' . Her sister (very good friends with my housemate) rang at about midnight inviting herself and Daisy round last night. After playing somewhat of a waiting game, me and Daisy were left alone in my house - my long awaited fantasy was only a staircase away :P

    After some sly conversation on my part, we came up to my room to browse some funny videos online that we were talking about - however, right before entering my room she stated along the lines of, "it's been 2 years, I don't want you to get the wrong idea". (Alarm bells! Ding ding! :/) As we sit very comfortable in my bed, she made kino very difficult and on many occasions said she wanted to wake up her sister and go home. Rather than play along and ask her to stay - I just grabbed my phone and asked for her number so we could do it again sometime.

    Then it came - "I don't think that's a good idea, I've had a bf for a year and a half and I live with him" (she's 19, he's 24, I'm 21). At that point I felt I didn't have much to lose so I just told Daisy about how she vanished completely and how disappointing I felt the entire situation to be! :$ She told me how (2 years ago) she needed/wanted someone there for her, but I never asked her to go steady and was always playing games wit her. After some brief awkwardness, we just sparked a conversation up again and had a laugh. She never woke her sister up, and ended up sleeping in my bed from 6am-ish to noon (when her sister came up to find her lol). We had great mutual fun hanging out again and chatting, and some of the night even involved spooning (greatly adding to the confusion =P).

    What are your thoughts on this guys?
    Did what occur last night show any signs of her 'entertaining the idea'? Or is she playing me like a fiddle and planned the whole thing? Is my situation worth investment? Should I have used the 'bf destroyer technique'? And most importantly (for me)...am I god d4mn fool for not tearing that a55 up and asking for numbers later?

    So here I stand before you guys. May the help provided here help AFCs and PUAs alike in climbing the steps on the way to happiness

    Thanks for reading guys - I look forward to your feedback
    Last edited by Heretolistenandlearn; 05-11-2012 at 11:39 AM. Reason: presentation/punctuation

  2. #2
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Old flame? Or bad game? This is my story guys - Help me write it! :)

    Ok she would not have slept in your bed if she didn't have feelings for you still despite what she said and the sister factor. But as you said you played games with her when you were together. If you really like her take it a little slow and show some compassion towards her. You will get more than spooning. However is this what you want or are you just sexually excited by an old flame? She already definately knows you are still interested so she's going to be in control this time around. Food for thought.

    Loop de loop or something new? Its really your choice. Do you really want her back? If so you have a terrific 'fate'Personally I have a no u turn policy and don't go back to ex's unless it's a bit of post break up sex. Find your future and grow, dont go back to your past. Good luck.

  3. #3
    Heretolistenandlearn is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Post Re: Old flame? Or bad game? This is my story guys - Help me write it! :)

    Hello dragon! Thanks for your prompt reply

    You make it seem so clear at the start, and yes I must agree - there's obviously some feelings there. Furthermore, yes I genuinely like her and I'm not pursuing it for a bit of one night fun (plenty of other girls for that!). I will take it slow - I shouldn't expect something like this to happen overnight.

    You mentioned compassion? I was always teasing her and challenging her - she's never saw that side of me to be honest. Do you happen to have any recommendations? Or anyone else here on the puaforums?

    Concerning who is in control - I really appreciate your insight. During our next meeting, I sincerely doubt I would have considered who was in control. Think you might have given me a leg up there buddy!

    As for your final thoughts - I respect your 'u turn policy', or any man who sticks to their principles.


    Quote Originally Posted by whitedragon View Post
    Find your future and grow, dont go back to your past. Good luck.
    Thanks friend.

  4. #4
    Heretolistenandlearn is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Old flame? Or bad game? This is my story guys - Help me write it! :)

    Would anyone else like to contribute? I would really appreciate the guidance


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