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  1. #1
    grizzly bradams is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default want out of the friend zone

    Ive had this friend ive like for a very long time but i have been a chump and havent made any moves on her. Shes been single for about a year and i just got broken up with my girlfriend of a year and a half a few months ago. now that im single agien i want to make a move on her. We've gone for coffee a couple times since i broke up with the ex but havent really been able to make that next move because.... well because i really dont know how to make a move on someone ive been friends with for so long. ive been flirting with her a bit, but i have no idea how to make that next move.

    any ideas how to get out of this dreaded friend zone with her and into her bed?

  2. #2
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: want out of the friend zone

    The hard thing about getting out of friend zones, for me at least, is its human nature not to want to ruin the friendship. But take a longer view of life. How many close female friends (that are also attractive to them) do most guys truly have throughout their life? Not many if at all because they either meet someone and settle down focussing on their partner or their friend does. It fades away. Not always, maybe you grew up on the same street as the girl or were colleagues with the same professional education etc. But in my life my males friends are my real true hang out friends and women my lovers, soulmates, colleagues and aquiantences. I date girls and hang out with my male buddies. That's what most people do otherwise guys would all be talking about shoes and product and girls sports, beer and 911.

    So if you don't take the risk of changing the friendship she will eventually move onto someone else, as will you and you won't be as close anymore. You may aswell make a move now while you have a chance. If she rejects you but is truly your friend, she will be flattered you tried and will still be loyal. Friendship = loyalty. If she is in the same boat as you she will likely be over the moon.

    It's going to come back to the basics of kino and what you intend doing with her. I personally would avoid raising it in conversation but suprise her with clear physical motives. She will instantly see your new decisive action and respond accordingly. Do something completely new with her so she is pushed into new territory and experiences with you. Eventually you need to be brave and start touching her and flirting with her in a physical way. Show her you 100% want a physical relationship with her. If you are already really good friends you have a lot of trust options so perhaps don't need to do textbook dates like dinner/pub, places you usually hang out. You could go on a trip together or try something uniquely different. Im not 100% on this but to help change the relationship I would change the setting. Maybe dont take her to your usual spots or you will fall back into old 'friendship' patterns and so will she.

  3. #3
    grizzly bradams is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: want out of the friend zone

    thanks a ton for the advice whitedragon, we usualy just hang out at either her place or a coffee shop, so this weekend im going to ask her to go for a hike up a local mountain. hopefully this changes things up.

  4. #4
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: want out of the friend zone

    Quote Originally Posted by grizzly bradams View Post
    thanks a ton for the advice whitedragon, we usualy just hang out at either her place or a coffee shop, so this weekend im going to ask her to go for a hike up a local mountain. hopefully this changes things up.
    No worries man. Take her camping then you can be the rugged guy who starts a fire, cooks dinner and she HAS to sleep in the same bed/tent as you. Primal instincts from the both of you will be awakened Use an inflatable double mattress without the inflatable pillows, take a inflator that plugs into the car socket so it inflates quickly and effortlessly, bring all your comfy home pillows and blankets/doona etc and go for a hike from the camping spot. Use, buy or borrow a decent sized 3 man tent. Don't bother with camping stretcher beds or those thin uncomfortable foam mats. Don't do the backpacking thing or you can't carry everything, take a car. Make it really effortless and 'luxurious' for her. Camping doesn't have to be 'roughing it'. Find somewhere private that also has a shower block or if in the complete wilderness consider buying a camping shower or something so she feels comfortable and can wash and freshen up. Bring lots of yummy healthy food and some good tea for when you get close around the campfire. If she's just not that outdoorsy go for an overnight trip where you have to share a room at a cheap motel or b&b 'hey they only had a room with a double bed available'. Take her somewhere amazing and amazing things will happen. Going for a hike is nice but doesn't allow much contrasting romantic time. An overnight trip or camping guarantees you two can get physically close. A hike is just a sweaty walk, an overnight trip will allow you to completely take care and protect her and show off all your manly survival, adventure and planning skills. There will always be something fun to do together rather than just chatting and walking. If you put in all that effort I promise you she will reward you, unless she doesn't like you in that way, but if she doesn't like you in that way chances are she will simply decline an overnight trip.

  5. #5
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: want out of the friend zone

    Alternatively next time get her to come over to your place and ask her to stay the night. Or next time your at her place stay the night. In her bed not the couch.


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