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  1. #1
    Indy27 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Friend zone or psycho!?

    Guys I've known this HB7 for a couple of years now. We met one night at a house party where we ended up sharing a bed with a couple of others and we played around a bit (just me and her). Prob would have Farked if no-one else was around.

    After this I took her out on a date and she was all coy and nervous and didnt want to be seen as a slut etc. Bare in mind she lives with her ex bf as she is only 18 and cant afford to leave yet. Also she tells me she doesnt want anything more than friends as her life is already too complicated (shes fallen in love with her best friend for over a year now on the quiet). I try to push through all this and get some IOIs but tbh Its just not gonna happen so we become best friends.

    Now fast forward 2 years later and I have moved back to the area and we are hanging out again. She is now living with the best friend she fell for. After a couple of months of me being on the scene hanging out and having laughs, flirty banter, jokes and lots of deep talking she decides to end it with the guy. He is a total Douche tbh.

    Ok now we are still best friends but how can you be best friends like this as a guy and girl that find each other attractive? She has told me she had a dream about me and her having sex and that we know sooner or later we will prob fark. I replied with yes its inevitable lol. Then she said yeah if you made a move on me I dont know how Id react. Loads of IOIs! Texts about how im her soul mate and one true love in life and that we will end up together in the end. Blah blah blah. However, Ive not made any move on her as this whole thing is weird to me. She just bought a photo album for me and her and we took some shots and put them in and shes loving it. Tbh now im typing this it sounds like an old fashioned love story lol. She is that type of person for sure. She only let her first bf have sex after a year and then the next guy she refused his kiss for a year or so.

    Ok so thats the positive stuff but then couple that with this madness: We start getting all close and shes saying all these great things about shes never known anyone as deep as me and loves how we can talk about anything. So I tell her we should go out and get some nice food and chill out with my ipad (got out new photos on it). She loves it in the moment and then just as Im coming to pick her up she says can we go somewhere really casual instead as my nice clothes are packed away (shes moving out of the bf house but this isnt an IOI for me lol). Its like shes got scared! Then after hanging out a couple more times having a great laugh and flirting I text her to say 'Had a great laugh' and she replies with 'Thats what Best Friends are for Haha.' Now wtf is that about?

    Tbh the whole time shes saying how we are so great together and her actions are all strong IOIs but then says mad stuff like that?! Whats it all about? Its either totally friend zone or some test to push my buttons to get me to make a move? The Haha my be a clue too?

    Really appreciate your incite guys if you've made it through this far

  2. #2
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    Cody is offline PUA All Star (RETIRED)
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    Default Re: Friend zone or psycho!?

    She could just mean that she's in love with "her best friend." Don't dig too deep into it. They could have two different meanings between the two of you.

    You need to take charge of this relationship. Become the leader and direct it where you want it to go. She's not a psycho, just waiting for you to step up. Be the Alpha Male.
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  3. #3
    Indy27 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Friend zone or psycho!?

    Hey Thanks Mr.OneThousand. Just for an update I replied to that text with 'Haha I love being best friends too.'

    She replied with 'Me too xxxx'

    Im just starting to think you just got to ignore the talk and just watch the actions and push through. Any ideas how to make this more likely to succeed?

    She has invited me to stay over in her new place in a week or so so maybe that would be the best place to make so kind of move?

    Its so much harder when its your best friend because there is more at stake.

    How shall I handle this man?

    Thanks

  4. #4
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    Cody is offline PUA All Star (RETIRED)
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    Default Re: Friend zone or psycho!?

    You've got to weigh it out. Is the risk of losing your friendship worth the benefits of gaining her as a girlfriend? If it's not, then don't do it, but if it is you can't be afraid and don't pussy out.

    Live in your own reality. If she says and/or does something that has little to no importance to you, it doesn't exist. Pretend as though it didn't happen and press on.

    You're confused because she's confused, and unless one of you decides to no longer be confused and determine what you want things will fall apart. Many times girls don't know what they want because the guy doesn't know what he wants. She's looking for a leader and it better be you. If you want her, take her. The ultimate teaching of the 3 second rule is this: Never hesitate.
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  5. #5
    Indy27 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Friend zone or psycho!?

    Thanks man, I think my frame has just been weakened by the fact that we are so close as friends and so I find it hard to interpret her intentions. However, as you say realistically this is irrelevant if I decide to make a stand.

    I will enjoy her company over the next week or so and continue the flirting and make a move when I go round hers next week, unless there is a sooner time that just flows.

    Really appreciate it man. I will also work on having my own reality as I see its importance with everything.

    Its funny as I have this frame when going for Job Interviews and have a great track record with that, but I need work in this area with women.


  6. #6
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Friend zone or psycho!?

    Quote Originally Posted by Indy27 View Post
    I find it hard to interpret her intentions. However, as you say realistically this is irrelevant if I decide to make a stand.
    Its funny as I have this frame when going for Job Interviews and have a great track record with that, but I need work in this area with women.

    She said she had a dream about having sex with you. I wish I could meet more women like that. I interpret that as: she wants to have sex with you. She is yours for the taking but definately consider her past relationships, no offence but she sounds a little high maintenance, immature and insecure if she has to wait a year to kiss someone (what kind of man can wait a year for a kiss???). This girl could be using you somewhat and you're not seeing it. You could be amplifying how great the friendship is out of sexual attraction/tension.

    Jobs and women I treat almost identical in some ways. I am going to succeed no matter what, whether at this company or another. I have been very bold in interviews before because ultimately they are paying me for my time. An example: I went for an interview and they asked what I wanted to get paid. The interviewer told me 'thats way above the average for someone of your experience level'. I said 'you just saw my CV and portfolio and you can see I am a way above average candidate'. I didn't get that job suffice to say but a week later I got an even better job with almost double what I has asked for the week before. Don't sell yourself short.

    As I said in another recent post, most guys don't have attractive female friends long term. Eventually people move on so whats at stake? Nothing. If your really best friends you still will be after you've tried to put your tongue down her throat. Friendship=loyalty. In fact making a move will test what your friendship really is about yes? Consider the fullness of time and make a move. If she's asked you around to stay at her house that is a good sign but beware you will be in her princess palace and she will reign command of her kingdom. Either way if you make a move do it with 100% intent. Show her with 100% certainty you want to be her boyfriend and have a physical relationship. Persevere through any cutesy defense barriers she might put up. Make her dream come true but also make YOUR dreams come true.

    Quote Originally Posted by mr.onethousand View Post
    Many times girls don't know what they want because the guy doesn't know what he wants.
    This ^ absofarkinglutely


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