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  1. #1
    Ecko30's Avatar
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    Default Fastest way to shed the "nice guy' in you

    Hey guys, my big question is, what is the fastest way I can do or act to shed the nice guy who lives inside me? I know its still in me and girls dont seem to find it attractive. The needyness and texting too much, I sometimes fall into if I had a genuine good time with a girl...but I find they don't respond.

    I dont consider myself a softie by any means, but I do have that nice guy, caring atttitude I deffinitely would like to get rid of. Maybe it's just loneliness, idk.

    What can I do on my next date, to hide it or take steps in destroying it?

  2. #2
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Fastest way to shed the "nice guy' in you

    Think about how you communicate with your sister, friends, colleagues or girls you have no interest in. Your not always nice.

    The easiest and most rewarding way I found is just to date as many girls as you can...then suddenly you find yourself in a situation where you're dating one girl and the another girl calls, oops cant take that call. Lets go out friday Sarah...then you meet a better girl Jane, oh wait can I cancel friday Sarah and see you saturday? (cuz you're now going to see Jane on friday)...then you're so busy trying to look after your harem you don't even have time to be the nice guy. When it rains it pours. Maybe not all the girls are your dream girls but they will still be fun. Then when you do meet the dream girl you're already at the top of your game and they may even sense you're a bit of a playboy. 'Who was that calling?'. How many times do men cancelled a date with a girl versus them cancelling? Try it out. 'Can we re-schedule?' Normally they are not used to it. Your not being a bastard but you're not overly eager. Your acting like the busy successful man you should be. They have to chase you because they know other girls are.

    If you become infactuated with one girl you rarely actually get them. What a waste of time! When you meet someone who will turn into a LTR it usually happens fairly naturally and it doesn't matter what you do, she will be making moves too. Be careful of infactuation. You just have to have the attitude of 'I have nothing to loose' so Im not going to be a puppy dog in front of her, in fact I am going to comment on her mole or freckles or that her brown handbag doesn't match her white dress. Especially if they are really good looking. You have to give the impression you are used to dating good looking women and the easiest way to have that conviction is to date lots of good looking women. The only way to do that is to fail quite a few times along the way or through luck. I talk about fashion all the time with women like 'so how many shoes you gonna buy this summer', 'ever have your girlfriends over and you try on and swap outfits...ever have a lesbian experience with any of them? C'mon most girls have kissed one or two of their friends yeah?'. I don't focus on it but it steers the conversation away from nervous talk and they will know you are experienced with women.

    Ive done some really wacky things but they empowered me. One girl I used to see only very occassionally around my neighborhood when I was a student I really liked. I saw her picture in a hockey team shot one day in the local newspaper and found out her name. I promised myself no matter what next time I see her Im going to ask her out. Next time I saw her I was sitting in a bloody barber shop getting my hair cut. She walks by and we caught eyes. Well I couldnt leap out of the seat wearing the apron thing and tufts of hair falling about so I went home, looked up her number and called her. 'Hi you dont know me and I don't know you but...well I was just getting my haircut and saw you walk by and I thought Id call you'. 'How did you get my number and know my name??' 'I saw your hockey pic...this is not something I'd normally do but I had to meet you and say hi'. We talked for four hours and while I found out she was studying in another city, had a boyfriend and was just back visiting her parents I got to know her and a few years later I met her a few times again and was able to have a good chat (by that stage I was in a LTR with an even better girl). I didnt get her then but she was no longer a stranger. It was worth the effort. Yeah it was a creepy thing to do but once I got talking to her she understood how much confidence it must have took to do something like that and I didnt have any other ways of meeting her really. Asking a girl out at a pub was magic after that caper.

    A bit of reverse pyschology works. I once met one girl and tried an experiment. I straight up started saying 'we should be friends, I'm not sure I want a relationship right now'. I friendzoned HER on the first date after asking her out! She was like 'what?'. She went nuts for me. Then I later made a move and she wasn't expecting it as much as if Id been drooling at her all night. 'you're so hot I've changed my mind'. Occassionaly Ive had girls bring one of their friends along on the second date. Maybe men should do that. Here's my buddy Frank, he's here to make sure you're up to grade. Every girl Ive ever been out with has tested me and played a little cold here and there. Why can't we? We can.

  3. #3
    Ecko30's Avatar
    Ecko30 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Fastest way to shed the "nice guy' in you

    I like the idea of immersing myself in meeting many women for dates. Just to clarify when you said dating, you meant like going out on dates right? not relationships right?

    I'm also going to do some reverse psychology and tell one of the younger girls I didn't get anything from last date, that "I'm not farking you tonight, I need to save my nectar" and see how it goes. Thanks

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Fastest way to shed the "nice guy' in you

    To answer your original queston, the fastest way to shed the nice guy vibe is by developing a zero tolerance policy. Being proud isn't easy, but it pays off. Deangelo: give up short term gratification for long term success. Be willing to walk away the second she DQs herself.

    Example. I don't like tan girls (note that I live in Iowa so all women do here is fake bake because of our winters.) I'll ask a girl if she goes tanning. If she says yes, I respond, "You'll need to stop that if you want to be with me." She'll laugh because she thinks I'm kidding, but I'm not. When she continues to do it I walk away. Freeze Out. Then she comes running back.

    Zero Tolerance. My friends call it the One Strike Policy. You have to commit. You have to be a hard ass. It's not for everybody, but I can promise you it works well for those who are capable.
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  5. #5
    Ecko30's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fastest way to shed the "nice guy' in you

    Are we talking about sex or hanging out with a girl in general with zero tolerance?

    Like for example, if she turns the offer of sex down when I'm out with her, what would be a zero tolerance example for this?

    I understand what you mean in general and thanks Cody.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Fastest way to shed the "nice guy' in you

    Just in general.

    It would depend on how the situation was brought about. There's an example in The Game that basically goes like this: Mystery tells a girl to come home with him but she says she's not that kind of girl. He says that's too bad then begins to walk away. As he starts to leave her face falls. He turns back around, repeats that she should come, then she does.

    I read a post by Virgil a while back about how being an Alpha Male is the power struggle to remain on top. You do this by not tolerating the shit. If you say you want to have sex and she says no, walk away, because that's not something you tolerate.

    Does that make a little more sense? It's a complex idea to try and articulate. Hope that makes things a little more clear.
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  7. #7
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Fastest way to shed the "nice guy' in you

    Quote Originally Posted by Ecko30 View Post
    I like the idea of immersing myself in meeting many women for dates. Just to clarify when you said dating, you meant like going out on dates right? not relationships right?

    I'm also going to do some reverse psychology and tell one of the younger girls I didn't get anything from last date, that "I'm not farking you tonight, I need to save my nectar" and see how it goes. Thanks
    Yes date lots of women, thats what alpha males do right? I only have relationships with someone really special and compatible otherwise Im playing the field. Dating lots will a) lower your fear b) make you less likely to treat her like a princess because she is not the first date you've had in 6 months c) you have a much greater chance of experimeting and practicing d) you will become more efficient and economical in the dating process e) get you meeting, talking to and screwing lots of interesting women.

    An alpha male doesn't save his nectar, he spreads it out far and wide so perhaps think of something less acute to say like Mr 1000's mystery example.

  8. #8
    Ecko30's Avatar
    Ecko30 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Fastest way to shed the "nice guy' in you

    Thanks for the posts guys. You both have killer advice. I like it. I want to never get turned down again when I have a girl in my car. There's no excuse for rejection in this area.

    One more question, I like younger girls 18-23 and that's who I usually go after, but still not confident where you take girls that age when you take them out..like at that age they usually sleep with their male friends and alcohol and a house usually is sufficient. Is it a turn-off to take this age on an official "date" like mini-putting or drinks at a bar? My buddies who rarely get turned down and who I have had to compete with since I started having sex (they look like bronze gods) say u just get the number, pick them up, have liquor in your car and take them to a secluded spot, talk a bit with music, and fuck them. Ive found it alittle harder. (girls saying this is "cheesy", or just not putting out)

    Where do you guys take these girls too after you've picked up ? place to eat, on an actual date?

    Thanks

  9. #9
    Cody's Avatar
    Cody is offline PUA All Star (RETIRED)
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    Default Re: Fastest way to shed the "nice guy' in you

    WhiteDragon can give a much more direct answer than me on this one, but I'll go off on a tangent then explain how it's relevant.

    In The Red Queen, Matt Ridley devotes an entire chapter to peacock theory, and not the superficial crap we usually talk about. I have much lower numbers than many guys on this site because I specify with my women. I "peacock" to a genre of women, and they know it before I ever talk to them. We all have our tastes; While most guys prefer HB10s I like my women to be HB7-8s and really fucking smart (and artsy.) This takes the sample group of women that is the general population and disqualifies a vast majority of them in a matter of seconds. Literally, if I am talking to a girl whom I notice to have a low IQ I kick her to the curb. I don't tolerate her.

    It has its pros and cons. Do I have sex often? No. When I do is it awesome? Yes, and I can escalate in much more quickly than the rule-of-thumb-8-hours.

    What I'm getting at is this: Consider implmenting a zero tolerance policy with your genre of women. Which do you want? To fuck them asap or take them on a date first? Neither one is wrong, but part of being an alpha male is knowing what you want.

    It's all about what you want, then, in tun, finding the women who want what you want. You decrease frequency while increasing quality. Which is more important to you?

    Sorry if you aren't a fan of Confucius.
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  10. #10
    Ecko30's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fastest way to shed the "nice guy' in you

    I guess I want to fark them asap. I don't care to have an elaborate date with a girl who I know is sleeping over at her male "friends" house that night or is being chased by younger guys her age...but to accomplish what I want, I'm wondering if I DO have to put in that effort of a date and if so, where can I take them that has been successful to you guys.

    I would just really like to meet and date different women. So I guess being a "friend" to this age is the best way to eventually fark them


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