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  1. #1
    mitkoberba is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Need help with No-Money Issue

    What if you simply don't have enough money to compete with other guys who are not better men than you, but simply can provide more fun and comfort to a women because they have more resources than you?

    I'm 18 years old and I have to compete with 20 year olds. I have good clothing, some elite brands, but - for example - I have just lost out on my ex to a guy who has all the money to have any kind of fun, has his own car, travels a lot... It is not his money, it is his father who gives a lot of cash to him. He doesn't seem ambitious at all - he failed to get into a university, gives it another shot this year. My parents can't afford to travel or pay me trips in Europe, even the driving license is too expensive for us at the moment so I should try to lead an exciting and interesting life without having much money.

    My wardrobe could be improved a bit but that department is alright, but for example, what to do if you can't drive a car and some other guy can? (which means the opportunities and chances of a good date are much higher than they are for me). Not to mention where you live - my room is really small and half empty, I sleep in a small and uncomfy bed where we couldn't even sleep together, we have a small living room with uncomfortable sofas, and my parents are not like me at all... When I bought a rather expensive cologne they told me I was a snob and things like that. Genereally, they think I'm a snob just because I'm trying to live quality life, not what they are used to.

    I know that women are not attracted to money itself, but to the good things you can provide with money, but I think I am beginning to reach my maximum, and I need much more money to take myself to the next level. My wardrobe is 10/8, but I would need more resources in general.

    What can I do to improve my situation? What are the most important things, having a nice bedroom, driving a car, provide fun with travelling or what? I would also need the priorities because I'm unable to have everything at the moment.

    Thx in advance.

  2. #2
    A_P_B is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with No-Money Issue

    Having a nice car, having loads of money, having an awesome tattoo.. Sure they are great things to have. But that does NOT make you a better guy or be great at speaking to girls.

    It's all about who YOU are as a person and developing your mind set. I don't have a car, my own place, loads of money etc.. But I'm good looking, have an amazing outlook on life and i can speak to girls, if they don't like me then i couldn't care less.

    Have no fear.

  3. #3
    mitkoberba is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help with No-Money Issue

    Of course not, but every player knows that the good mindset + money wins over good mindset and no money.

    I have good success rate with women with my witty humor, very-very slight arrogance, I'm a great active listener, I'm good looking and sophisticated, I'm getting more and more ripped, I'm intelligent and confident... But if a guy comes with these attributes + a thick wallet, you will have to face an uphill battle.

    Let me give you some examples...

    My ex loved skiing, but we couldn't afford to go skiing with her in the winter. Her new guy can.

    My ex asked me when will I have my driving license (she already has it and told me she doesn't want to be cooler than me) and I had to brush off the question. Her new guy has his own car.

    My ex asked me where will my family go on a holiday in the summer and I told her that we don't know yet, I can only hope we go somewhere hot & sunny. Her new guy surely goes to the seaside. She hinted at visiting Barcelona sometime, but I knew it was unrealistic for me. Her new guy can afford it easily.

    And so on and so on...

    My main question is: how to handle women who are from a higher social class than you?

  4. #4
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    Cody is offline PUA All Star (RETIRED)
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    Default Re: Need help with No-Money Issue

    1) We aren't Players. We are PUAs.

    2) Are you sure you want to date up in class?

    Here you are talking about lasting relationships, not a simple hook up or shallow fun. Have you read Leil Lowndes How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You?

    Just because you can seduce a woman, does that mean you should? Similarly, just because you can date up in class, are you sure you want to? It will work for a while, but class is a huge factor in your socialization process that PU alone can't topple. You see, you aren't happy with it now, and making more money might make you more accepting of the situation at first, but you both grew up differently and that's ingrained in your inner being. It might seem like a little thing here or there, but they quickly add up.

    As I've said I live in Iowa and spent most of my life growing up here. I have never known money, but HS and college has shown me money. All of my exs families have exponentially higher incomes than mine. I would be a liar to say that this was never a factor.

    My exs come from money. My friends come from money. I do not come from money, and though they treat me unknowingly from time to time I would never ideally date a woman of a higher financial/social class. It's a deep issue that no thread or post can solve, and many authors have written books upon books on the subject.

    You will be much happier to date a woman in the same social class as you and also one who was raised in a similar one (because we have upward/downward mobility and might not remain in the same class we grew up.)

    If you are interested in making more money/moving up the work ladder, buy a copy of Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. You won't find a better book on the topic.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  5. #5
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    chet25 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help with No-Money Issue

    Over-thinking this is what is killing you. You need to look up what qualification is and how to understand what you value in life. Sounds like this ex, is way better as a ex and instead of a leach.

    Through my experiences. At 18 years old, stop worrying about ONE girl and not having money to spoil them. Focus on your life and an abundance of women. Unless you live in a small village with only a handful of women, being 18 is like heaven. Young girls will do anything you say and they have less social conditioning. Very few care about you having money than the good feelings you can offer.

  6. #6
    Fork is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with No-Money Issue

    Let's face it. Girls are attracted to men with resources. it's a plus. Not necessarily a deal killer but a plus.

    Here is how one of my poor friends solved this problem.

    He rented a room in a luxury home with other PUA's.

    If you split the costs, you can get A LOT for your money, more than you might think. pool, jacuzzi, etc...

    If you have a sh@t car, rent one for the first couple dates or until she's hooked.

    Wear KICKASS clothing. Only need a small handful of different looks.

    With some creativity, you can surround yourself with HIGH CLASS SH@T for very little money is you are creative enough.

    And if you care about being a PUA, you should do it.

    Women are more attracted to men with resources. You don't necessarily have to own it all, just be surrounded by nice stuff.

    The illusion counts.



    p.s. when she finds out later how poor you are, she will admire the fact you were able to show so much class with so little resources.

  7. #7
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Need help with No-Money Issue

    Good suggetion with the group PUA. However if you are alone in this then ambition is your best friend. Show how passionate you are about your future and your confidence should come from a place that you KNOW you will reach your goal so you are ok as you are at the moment. Also you could try embracing your financial situation and make it into humor. Like that she will have to pay for all the dates and that you will only give her sex if she buys you things because you're materialistic. Hope these help out and good luck.

  8. #8
    A_P_B is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with No-Money Issue

    I second what BatMan said.

    Myself, I don't drive and i have been living at my grandma's for 2 months! BUT i took the piss out of myself and projected that much confidence that girls loved it, it's crazy really. I do firmly believe it's who you are as a person. If you're a nerd/boring guy/asshole with no ambition or direction and have no confidence, then my situation would absolutely be a deal breaker for you.

    It really just depends on who you are, the mentallity and how you project yourself.

  9. #9
    mitkoberba is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help with No-Money Issue

    Quote Originally Posted by mr.onethousand View Post
    1) We aren't Players. We are PUAs.

    2) Are you sure you want to date up in class?

    Here you are talking about lasting relationships, not a simple hook up or shallow fun. Have you read Leil Lowndes How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You?

    Just because you can seduce a woman, does that mean you should? Similarly, just because you can date up in class, are you sure you want to? It will work for a while, but class is a huge factor in your socialization process that PU alone can't topple. You see, you aren't happy with it now, and making more money might make you more accepting of the situation at first, but you both grew up differently and that's ingrained in your inner being. It might seem like a little thing here or there, but they quickly add up.

    As I've said I live in Iowa and spent most of my life growing up here. I have never known money, but HS and college has shown me money. All of my exs families have exponentially higher incomes than mine. I would be a liar to say that this was never a factor.

    My exs come from money. My friends come from money. I do not come from money, and though they treat me unknowingly from time to time I would never ideally date a woman of a higher financial/social class. It's a deep issue that no thread or post can solve, and many authors have written books upon books on the subject.

    You will be much happier to date a woman in the same social class as you and also one who was raised in a similar one (because we have upward/downward mobility and might not remain in the same class we grew up.)

    If you are interested in making more money/moving up the work ladder, buy a copy of Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. You won't find a better book on the topic.
    My situation is tricky. With the girl I mentioned, we were raised in quite the same circumstances. We had much more money back then, we travelled a lot with my family, had two cars etc etc. Hell, I miss those times. Before we got together with my ex, we talked a lot about holidays and stuff (I think it is one of the most positive topics to talk about). But our financial situation got a lot worse since then, in the past 3 or 4 years or so. So we had to take huge steps back, and that happened without my friends or social circle noticing, and now I'm struggling to keep up with my buddies cause they NOW seem like higher class.

  10. #10
    Jumpship is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help with No-Money Issue

    its all about confidence. but really, try and get a job atleast! as long as a woman can see that you're passionate and ambitious... thats all you really need


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