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  1. #21
    simplejack is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    You are the man. If she doesn't contact me I'm going to do just that. She seems to be a naturally curious person so I'll keep it suspenseful and keep her guessing until the next time we meet. I'm going to play it cool and keep it fun and raise tension up so her mood is different the next time she's home. And yes, I do believe it's worth it.

  2. #22
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    Then I am really happy for you. There's nothing else then to find someone that special that makes you want to take that risk. You have alot on your side in this situation and I'm sure you will be fine.

  3. #23
    simplejack is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    I hope all these questions aren't bothering you.

    What kind of intrigue do you suggest I go with? Knowing what you know about the situation, and the fact that she hasn't called me to make plans, should I make her feel like I'm mad at her? Or should I go with wanting to tell her something but not knowing how then not revealing it?

    I'm looking for something a little more specific here. Less yoda and more to the point haha. I get what you are saying though, just a little lost on what I should say to create the scenario's you're talking about. Any suggestions or examples of something that you think may work in this situation?

  4. #24
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    I try not to be too direct because scripts only get you so far. But I will try. I suggest doing whatever you usually do when she does something like this to you. If you have a few weeks before you see her then you will have to spread this out. After you get past the punishing phase, depending on if shes upset or not just get back to a platonic level with her. Once there then introduce the idea that it was a shame she didn't try to come see you because there was something you wanted to tell her. After that say nevermind, maybe its not the best idea to say anything. If she keeps prying the avoid it for a bit. When it seems like she is going to give up then thats when you add in "Well, it has something to do what you told me before" and let the cycle continue. When she seems to give up again then reveal a tiny bit more or tell her you'll have to talk to her tomorrow and that you are not ready yet. Keep running this cycle until you see her again and don't make your whole conversations based on this. Mix this in with your normal conversations to make sure she doesnt " get tired of the games" before you even see her again. Sometimes less is more so use this sparingly. Just gauge if she starts to lose interest then use it again. That's calibration.

  5. #25
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    Mind you this is a very general strategy and there will be may variables that can not be accounted for so you will have to come up with things on the fly. Just keep this strategy as a basic backup plan and don't necessarily rely on it.

  6. #26
    simplejack is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    Perfect. Gunna try that out and report back. Unless of course she tries to make plans for tomorrow or Tuesday at which point i will kino escalate while with her. I feel like I'm almost better off waiting until next time as the not-talking today and her weirdness may just confuse the situation when we hang out at this point. We'll see though. I'll report back.

  7. #27
    simplejack is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    Got you. I'll be throwing some other stuff in but that's going to be a general outline.

    Is there rules for the "punishment phase" as in...what if she asks if I'm mad? Do I let it be known? Or just kinda avoid talking to her for a bit so she gets the point. I feel like she'll eventually ask if something is wrong at which point I'm not sure how I'd answer. I feel like making it known by words that I'm mad isn't the right approach; just by my actions. Then when she asks I can act like I was busy or something?

  8. #28
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    Body language is always more powerful then words. However over the phone or text is slightly different. Try the body language first and see how she responds. If she doesn't notice or doesn't put much effort into finding out what's wrong you may have to verbalize it. Honestly sometimes women will completely miss obvious signs you are upset since they don't usually trust what their gut is telling them. So if you do end up verbalizing I would use something like "I like you better when you try to come see me" which is postive reinforcement. Or use negative reinforcement, "I don't like it when you say you'll do something and you don't" or " I can't respect someone who behaves that way" Positive reinforement is usually better but if she is in the mindset that she is afraid to upset you then the negative reinforcement will help. Also if this steers away from your usal pattern when you let her know your upset it may throw her off and she will wonder whats gotten into you. Use your best judgement.

  9. #29
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    Being an alpha man is basically stating that she has done something to upset you and she needs to do something about it. If she doesn't know how then just tell her what you want her to do. This is compliance and relies very heavily on the value and rapport a woman has with you.

  10. #30
    simplejack is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    I hear ya. It will likely be over text or phone because I doubt I'm going to be seeing her now before she goes back. I don't think I can use body language even if we do hang out because if we do, then nothing is really wrong and I have nothing to be mad about. If she does leave though, then I'll try to let it be known by my lack of initiating which she expects from time to time as we are friends (although she initiates a lot more than I do for the most part). Then maybe if she isn't getting it I'll verbalize it in one of the ways you suggested. Followed by what you generally outlined before that.

    She said she didn't want things to be weird. Would it be wise to play on that? Maybe say something like "you're not doing a good job of making things NOT weird"? There is no positive or negative reinforcement in that, just stating that I notice her being odd and I'm calling her out on it.


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