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  1. #31
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    Stating something like that also goes back to putting focus on something you may not want to add to. By drawing your attention to the situation you may add to it therefore put more pressure on it. Which is counter productive. You don't always have to directly aknowledge everything someone says. Don Draper from the show Madmen said, "If you don't like what's being said, change the conversation." So my suggestion is to behave that her recent confession never happened and escalate as planned regardless. If she does bring it up again you could try behaving like she is being weird for bringing it up. But again use your best judgement.

  2. #32
    simplejack is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    You're absolutely right. Didn't think about it like that.

    So I'll be a little less responsive to her initiations so she gets the idea that I'm mad and I'll verbalize it if she's still not getting it. Then proceed as planned. Hopefully this goes well.

  3. #33
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    The easiest way is to burn into your mind that whenever you are talking with her to think "Is this going to steer me where I want to go?" If not then change the subject. Sometimes women will even welcome a man taking the lead and changing the subject so they won't even bring it up again.

  4. #34
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    It just dawned on me. We were both always very honest with each other. We never hid anything and always spoke our minds. It seems that by going along with this, we both are making sure we aren't speaking our minds, but rather playing games to gain an advantage over each other.

    Is it stupid to ask her what's going on? Or what's on her mind and to be real with me? Rather than following the steps you said? I'm just thinking back to how you said to do what you usually do when she does things like this (she's never done something quite like this, but she has been shady before as have I and she's called me out on it/I called her out on it), which would be to ask her what's going on and what's on her mind.

    Thanks.

  5. #35
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    And I'm not sure this won't steer me where I want to go. She could bring up how she kind of rushed into all of this and backed away a bit to which I can say we can take it slow. Or she can tell me she changed her mind at which point at least I know, and I can still play the same punishment + tension routine that I planned on anyway to get her to change her mood around.

    What do you think?

  6. #36
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    That is always a viable option. Obviously you know her well enough to know and my advice is completely based on what general information I know about women and what they respond to. If you are planning to move ahead, then some of your behavior towards her will change regardless so these techniques shouldn't be too far fetched. You will be less resistve to her interest and that may increase or diminish her feelings toward's you. Like I said, if you are unsure just use my techniques as backup. Even after you ask her what's going on and it doesn't really lead anywhere you can still use these techniques as backup. But as with these types of relationships, they are very scary to transition to romance because of the gravity that sets in. So just try and focus on alleviating some of that gravity with reminding yourself and her that you only live once and sometimes risks should be taken.

  7. #37
    simplejack is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    That's what makes this so odd. I can't figure out the reason she just stopped initiating and talking to me. If the friendship was her priority, she isn't doing a good job of making things normal between us. If dating was her first priority which makes more sense since she felt she HAD to bring this up, despite acknowledging the consequences, then I'm not sure why she isn't talking to me. It's a huge WTF right now.

  8. #38
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    Lol well our imagination can get the best of us in these types of things so try not to think about it. It will usually reveal itself in time. So she hasn't contacted you at all? What have you done on your end?

  9. #39
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    She agreed to call me yesterday but never did. I havent called her last night to see what happened and i dont plan on saying anything today. Was going to give it a few days u til she contacted me or if she doesnt then id call her on her odd behavior this weekend. Do you think i should contact her tonight to make plans or say something about how shes being shady? Shes leaving tomorrow.

  10. #40
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    I will remind you that having the countdown clock in your mind that's running close to the deadline can be a dangerous thing. So be careful of your behavior. You could contact her and let her know that you can't believe she would leave without hanging out with you, but only if that's what you normally would say. If you normally would just let it go and let her leave without hanging out then that is what you will have to do. Alot of pickup techniques are based on the idea that you have almost no relationship with someone. When you do have something then you have to gauge what you can do. Having alot of rapport with someone gives alot of flexibility in the means of letting someone know that you are upset with them. Only just make sure she makes it up to you otherwise you just basically "whined" to her. But also keep in mind, if she wanted to hang out, she would try. And if she said she would call and she didn't when she normally would then it could be a bad sign. Just let it go as naturally as possible. There will always be another time.


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