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  1. #41
    simplejack is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    She doesnt always stick to plans but the last few times shes been home she always tried to make plans. I was busy or sick the last few times so we never hung out. She would always joke i was too busy for her. But this time its a bit different because shes not sticking to plans after telling me she wanted to date. Not liking this at all.

  2. #42
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    Well how about this idea. Maybe because she made herself completely vulnerable and she feels like a fool. It really could be a number of things but let's disregard all of that. Just make plans for yourself tonight, call her up and play it cool and tell her you're going to do such and such and you would like her to go with you. It's simple and you may lose "cool" points for making plans with her when she hasn't called you, but you can usually make it up later with your behavior towards her.

  3. #43
    simplejack is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    Im gunna just play it cool. I can handle not seeing her and id rather not have to make up cool points haha. It doesnt help anything at all as far as i can guess. Just make me seem desperate after her not responding to my last attempt. I feel like she may respond better to me not reaching out right now as she responded well to that in the past. Shell prob question why i havent made more effort and begin to overanalyze like ive been doing.

  4. #44
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    That's good. That is probably the safer route to go. The low risk/ low reward vs high risk/ high reward. And you could always entice her with that line "It's ashame you didn't try to make plans, because I wanted to talk to you about something." or something along those lines. So it sounds like your going with Plan A so that's great. I actually do want an update on this and don't mind giving any further advice on this subject. Good luck.

  5. #45
    simplejack is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    Thanks man. Will definitely keep you posted.

  6. #46
    simplejack is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    I was thinking; is it possible that she doesn't believe that I actually like her? She kept saying on the phone that she didn't really believe it and that there was no way I could just "like her" only after she admitted it to me. She may think I was just saying it to not make things awkward?

    It seems like a legit possibility considering how she acted when she told me and didn't believe me when I told her the same thing.

    Also in the text messages after she said this, it was restated, and again she denied it. She questioned me when I told her it, and then said something along the lines of "so you were just never going to express it" after I told her I felt the same way.

  7. #47
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    That's a very possible scenario. I can see why it would be difficult for her to have trouble believing it. It's kind of a 180 from her perspective. This is the key point I mentioned where you want to focus on changing her mood and not her mind. Trying to convince her that you do have feelings, or that you only noticed when she said something could only make things worse and she will continue to disbelieve you. Personally I have been in this situation many times with a female friend. Even one I was friends with for almost 10 years. What I did was just focus on her mood and not try to be logical about the situation. Everytime she would question me I would just smile and either change the subject or continue escalating. And she wouldn't bring it up again for awhile. I tried not to handle her emotional qualms directly by being logical about them.

  8. #48
    simplejack is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    Just another update. No contact from her at all.

    Am going to wait until Thursday to contact her casually if she doesn't contact me until then. Still unsure if I should subtlety bring up her shadiness this weekend in a manner that might create some tension or at least give some answers. I think it might be weird to act like nothing happened when we initiate conversation. Normally I'd say something like "It was great seeing u this weekend" obviously being sarcastic, if she ever left without hanging out before. Maybe I'll say that then use what you said earlier (It's a shame because i wanted to tell you something)....

  9. #49
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    That would be good. Do whatever you do normally. Then once she's in a more receptive mood then bring up that it was a shame she didn't try to come see you. Also you two are already in tension. But you can keep building it all the way until she just cracks.

  10. #50
    simplejack is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Really Need Help on Friend Situation

    You think there is any chance she wants me to ask her about this weekend? Like why she didn't hang out? Or no possible way. Because the approach I plan on taking won't get any answers out at all; it'll probably just be avoided all together minus the joke I may sarcastically say and telling her I wanted to say something to her this weekend. I doubt I'll find any answers...you think that's ok?

    Also, do you think it would be wiser to wait until Thursday or contact tonight? Should I make sure she knows that I'm upset about this (easily done by waiting a few days (punishment phase as you called it)) or just act very casual about it?


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