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  1. #1
    gh0stfac3 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Bad case of one itis? or something else? help

    So I've been seeing this girl for maybe a couple months. We both have kids , which was one thing that made me interested in her. Initially we texted on and off a bit and she was somewhat hard to chill with. Whenever I would suggest us meeting up she would stop responding only to respond later and not answer about us chilling. So i froze her out for a week or so, then hit her up with something like. "Hey I didn't hear from you lately so i figured you were in jail. I made you a cake with key in it to break you out, etc... so you owe me now and should take me out , etc. Any how she ended up having some drama go down with her baby dad taking her plates off her car that weekend and couldn't chill. (as i write this im reflecting a bit on the drama here) Any how I told her to have a nice one at that point, but then a few days later i commented on something on her fb, and we started talking again. So maybe a week later i made a joke about us never hanging out and she suggested going out to bar crawl. We met up hung out to midnight or so and went back to me place where she spent the night. The next day we hung out with both our kids and went to the museum. So fast forward to today maybe a month later and shes been over every weekend with her kid at my place and weve been going out and taking the kids out and such. So last week her baby dad sends me this message on face book, pretty much telling me , she has been texting him , and tryin to go down memory lane and such etc. The prior day we got to talking and she mentioned he would do something like that after i brought up the fact she says shes single on her fb and in posts. IMHO one cant be loyal with someone if they go around saying they are single or we are friends. She says to me that we are together and ive been round her family and friends but she says she says we are friends to strangers or on fb to avoid drama. I replied with well if you someone really makes you happy you shouldnt hide you are with them. Any how though i ended up breakin up with her last weekend after all of this. I really miss her and hanging out with her so a couple days later (last night) i called her and she answered and we talked a bit. But this morning i woke up with a big idk in my head. I really care about her but im not going to be wasting my time and energy in someone that says they are single and acts like i dont exist around some people. Any thoughts?

  2. #2
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    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Bad case of one itis? or something else? help

    Yea, a little afc drama. You've given her the upper hand the whole time

    Enjoy your time with her, never push her for a definition. She is obviously afraid of a leash, if you push it you'll push her away, but if you show you don't care she'll come to you on this. Facebook status isn't important. Hang out with other girls to get your mind off her (hang out, not cheat)

    If the ex comes up, make it a short discussion. Like, are you with me? Yes? Ok then I don't like it but I trust you for now. Leave it there

    If you wanna pursue this you have to make her wonder what you are up to, you have to make her want to pursue you instead of you pushing her for definitions. You always have to stay cool, the less you care the more important it is to them.

    Don't feel bad, I got stuck this past month too and made some pretty AFC moves. Oneitis? I dunno, maybe you two are good for each other maybe not, but you do gotta change your mindset if you keep at this.
    Last edited by The Red Baron; 05-30-2012 at 04:31 PM. Reason: Spelling
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  3. #3
    gh0stfac3 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Bad case of one itis? or something else? help

    thanks for your response, I just kind of felt like, hey if investing myself into you , im not going to be hidden under the carpet and shit idk. i kinda broke it off with her friday only to call her sunday morning like and afc. she said she would txt me after that but nvr did, and then i txted her today with no response. im guessing shes made because i froze her out a bit last week during all this drama, its all good though i suppose. i met a couple other ladies in the interim, im feeling a bit back on top

  4. #4
    gh0stfac3 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Bad case of one itis? or something else? help

    when i hit her up today , i was like, so do you hate me and i asked her to chill this weekend, she just hit me back and said she didnt hate me :/ idk where to go from here, id imaging if she wasnt interested she wouldnt have said shit , but idk. i had her at one point joking and shit about getting married and kids tellin me she never wanted to let go, how the hell do i get back there?!?!

  5. #5
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bad case of one itis? or something else? help

    You had her chasing you, then you started chasing her and she no longer had to. When you started asking for definitions you changed the dynamic.

    Find a way to hook and bait her again. Honestly I'm pretty direct, I would give her a short (note- short) apology and invite her out, with a challenge (very important) like 'hey sorry about what happened, let me buy you a drink, but only if -you wear that sexy little dress-" or whatever
    A fun challenge, you want to take back the dynamic, and you need to start by being playful and aloof again, and most importantly not needy
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  6. #6
    Gmin23 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Bad case of one itis? or something else? help

    Personally i would let her push for the relationship. I would enjoy spending time with her and ignore her ex. At the same time letting her know you're not just a friend. When she's ready she'll be hunting you down.

  7. #7
    gh0stfac3 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Bad case of one itis? or something else? help

    thanks for the advice so far, keep it coming guys yea im going to let her set the title, I think im going to hit her up b4 the week is out and say something like
    "hey sorry about last weekend, i think we took things waaay to fast, lets get out for drinks, but only if u rock those sexy heels"

    sound cool?

  8. #8
    Gmin23 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Bad case of one itis? or something else? help

    No way man. Lol I mean invite her but never say sorry. First of all your right but maybe it's too soon for her to feel in love. But Remember we only get two sorry's in a relationship. So make them worth.

  9. #9
    gh0stfac3 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Bad case of one itis? or something else? help

    im kinda of confused, i understand i need to come off as not needy, and be more aloof, but idk what to do, basically she was last like, i dont hate you.... ugh what the hell do i say to that, damn this whole thing mind fucked me hard

  10. #10
    Gmin23 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Bad case of one itis? or something else? help

    Yeah I mean she can't hate you. For what? Don't over think it just have another date with her keep it simple as if nothing ever happened and give her those feelings of there is no one like you.


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