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  1. #1
    CoolitDown is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default REALLY CONFUSING HB10. How to re-engage a potential tease? - MY FIRST POST!

    Hey everyone. This is my very first post. Glad to be part of this board!

    Here's the deal... I usually have good success with women. Not trying to be immodest, but I feel like I should honestly let you know my stats right off the bat. I'm a decent looking dude, I'm the singer/guitarrist in a band that is pretty well known regionally, I'm outgoing (not shy), and I'm funny. I'm also pretty nonchalant with women, which has always worked well for me.

    THIS GIRL IS DRIVING ME INSANE!

    She's always acting interested and then closing off at the worst possible time. She is unbelievably hot. Really. I've been trying to get with her for a while, and then recently we were hanging out at her place and the deal was all but done. We're sharing some sexy stories with each other, and getting kinda close to the point, I'm in the middle of this crazy story that I knew would drive her nuts, and then all of a sudden this dude she's friends with shows up at her place completely unannounced (I think he's interested in her, but she doesn't appear interested in him, from what I gather). Anyway, he's in this anxious fit, literally freaking out with some personal problems, so she's in a position where she can't really ask him to leave. I felt bad for the guy but it was infuriating! He's there, and when he leaves the room, she gets all bedroom-eyes with me and sh1t, but we obviously couldn't go further than covert flirting. Anyway, to make a long story short, I didn't hang around for too long after that. But, I wasn't rude at all... I hung out, drank my drink, engaged in conversation, made them both laugh, and like an hour or so later, I pretended to have something else going on.

    So... A couple days later she calls me, and is sounding kinda sexy on the phone. She's like "you never got to finish your story! I'm so sorry that so-and-so showed up. I hope you didn't leave cuz you were mad. When are we going to hang out again? You gotta tell me the rest! Are you busy tonight?"

    I was busy. Unfortunately. So we didn't connect. But made plans then next day. The plans fell through. UGH! She had to go into work (confirmed). She calls me that night at 2 in the morning (while I was sleeping) and leaves me a voice-mail saying how sorry she was. Saying she wanted me to come over right now if I got the message (at 2 in the morning). Then she "pocket dialed" me at 5AM too.

    I woke up the next morning and was like "WHAT THE fark!!!" So mad I slept through the phone ringing.

    I call her back, and she's all like, "yeah we absolutely have to hang out asap. OMG I pocket dialed you in my sleep? I must have been dreaming about you! Are you free this afternoon?" I was busy. So she says "Are you free tonight?" I said yes. So we made plans to hang out when she got off work, late at night.

    Stood me up. Never called. And I haven't talked to her since.

    What the hell is going on with this chick? I'm totally mind-farked right now.

    Should I call her? What do I say? What if I get her VM? I don't want to look too desperate to hang out again. But I feel like she's not gonna call unless I make the first move. I think she might be afraid I'm gonna lay into her for standing me up. Maybe she's just a ruthless tease? Or maybe she legit just got turned off like a switch? (I can't think of why). Never had this happen before....

    Any help - and I mean ANY help- is very much appreciated!


    EDIT: I should also maybe mention that I've known this girl for a while. We were both in relationships, but now we're both single. It's one of those things where we've been into each other, but never acted on it due to being in relationships. We're not super close, so it's not a "friend zone" situation; we hang out now and again.

  2. #2
    surferdude is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: REALLY CONFUSING HB10. How to re-engage a potential tease? - MY FIRST P

    Dear god. That's a fucked up scenario. Seems like we have a FPUA on our hands haha.
    BUMP
    Someone help this guy.

  3. #3
    CoolitDown is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: REALLY CONFUSING HB10. How to re-engage a potential tease? - MY FIRST P

    Are the experts stumped?

    Morning bump.

  4. #4
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: REALLY CONFUSING HB10. How to re-engage a potential tease? - MY FIRST P

    Well firstly you were also busy a few times. Is she a FPUA or could she be also thinking - Ahh this is all bad timing? Consider your effect on flaking or having commitments with her. You're both running busy schedules so timing is everything. Just stay cool and be persistent and seize the opportunity when it arises. All the garbage with the other guy is stuff that shouldn't faze you emotionally. You can try kept being nonchalant or even a freeze, it might work but maybe you need to think creatively and get her alone another way. She seems into you but the timing and location has been less than perfect. Water off a ducks back to you my friend. No-one is busy 24/7. Just stay true to yourself, don't think about it too much and strike hard when she next bites. Or write a song for her.

  5. #5
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    rs5096 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: REALLY CONFUSING HB10. How to re-engage a potential tease? - MY FIRST P

    HI CID,

    Personally, I'd call her - but 3 strikes and she's out. So far strike 1.

    All the best
    rs5096

  6. #6
    CoolitDown is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: REALLY CONFUSING HB10. How to re-engage a potential tease? - MY FIRST P

    Quote Originally Posted by rs5096 View Post
    HI CID,

    Personally, I'd call her - but 3 strikes and she's out. So far strike 1.

    All the best
    rs5096
    Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I did end up calling her and there was no answer. Didn't leave a VM. Her phone is screwy. Truthfully. The other night when she invited me over, she had to have her friend text me, because her phone wasn't working haha (and it was a good sign that when I got there, the friend that texted me to come over was gone, leaving just her and I alone in her apartment...until her other friend showed up...ugh). So I'm not sure if she got the call or not... More mind-farking for me.

    I'm thinking maybe I should call back and leave a VM, but I'm honestly stumped for what to say. And in the event that she did get the call, maybe I should wait some time before calling her again.

    The trouble is that I really am busy, traveling a lot, so I don't want to have too much time go by before we connect, because I don't want to have to start from square one with her again.

  7. #7
    CoolitDown is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: REALLY CONFUSING HB10. How to re-engage a potential tease? - MY FIRST P

    Quote Originally Posted by whitedragon View Post
    Well firstly you were also busy a few times. Is she a FPUA or could she be also thinking - Ahh this is all bad timing? Consider your effect on flaking or having commitments with her. You're both running busy schedules so timing is everything. Just stay cool and be persistent and seize the opportunity when it arises. All the garbage with the other guy is stuff that shouldn't faze you emotionally. You can try kept being nonchalant or even a freeze, it might work but maybe you need to think creatively and get her alone another way. She seems into you but the timing and location has been less than perfect. Water off a ducks back to you my friend. No-one is busy 24/7. Just stay true to yourself, don't think about it too much and strike hard when she next bites. Or write a song for her.
    You're right; the other guy doesn't faze me at all. I'm not worried about him. It was just frustrating that he showed up right when things were getting interesting, and moving reallllly fast in the right direction. I'm thinking maybe you're also right about the timing thing. Timing is everything, but I would have expected her to at least call the next day and apologize for standing me up. I guess it's just that I don't often get stood up, and it's funny to say, but it kinda hurt my feelings. Lame? Maybe, I dunno. The thing is, I actually like the girl.. not just simply trying to sleep with her. She's really cool and interesting, and we always have a good time. Not saying it'll be an LTR necessarily, but I'm definitely not just looking to hit it and never see her again. I think that's why I reading into it so much.

    About the song idea. I like where your head is, but I'm afraid it might scare her off, considering her flaky tendencies. Maybe I should call and tease her by saying I wrote a song for her called "You're Such a Flake That I Don't Think I'm Attracted to You Anymore". In a light/joking tone of course. See what her reaction is. What's the worst thing that could happen? She doesn't hang out with me? That's kinda where I am now, so it might be worth a try. What do you think?

  8. #8
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: REALLY CONFUSING HB10. How to re-engage a potential tease? - MY FIRST P

    Exactly man, the song idea is a wildcard option but definately don't write a love song. The flake song would be classic - haha - kinda like wild horses by the stones. But honestly I don't think it would change much, she already knows your talents and has expressed a fair bit of interest. She sounds into you but also a little 'flighty' if you know what I mean? Newtons law - for every action there is an equal reaction. If you don't see her as a LTR she probably won't either.

    I know what it's like when you're busy and opportunities just aren't there. But hang in, plenty of girls have stood me up and later the timing IS right. Ive walked away even thinking 'i cant be bothered' and then suddenly its all on. Usually girls who completely flake don't know you too well but sounds like you're already connected with this girl. Just stay content and hopefully she will orbit back. But beware of what you said about the phone thing - I have a bunch of friends who always seem to be having phone trouble - loosing phones, changing numbers all the time, phone always on the blink and it's synonymous with problems they have in real life. If she's a hot girl she's probably getting attention outside of you. All you can do is concentrate on your own scene and attack hard as soon as the opportunity arises. Like rs said its only strike 1. Meh. I never expect a girl to apologise, i actually couldnt care less, just stay on your course and duck and weave whatever punches come your way. If you let it affect you it will. Rock on

  9. #9
    CoolitDown is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: REALLY CONFUSING HB10. How to re-engage a potential tease? - MY FIRST P

    whitedragon, you're the man. Thanks for the solid advice. You've been spot on pretty much the whole time. Almost reading my thoughts, which is validating some of my instincts which I was questioning.

    Anyway, yeah I'm not going to sweat it. I've got plenty of other options as far as women go. But it's like the whole 'you want what you can't have scenario'. The only thing is that I know I CAN have her. But I've never been into a girl who was this difficult to read, so I'm really confused by her mixed signals. I mean seriously, what kind of chick invites you over, is totally receptive to all your moves, blows up your phone one day, leaves a sexy voicemail inviting you to hang out at 2:00 in the morning that night, calls again at 5AM, blows up your phone the next day, jumps at your next available time to hang, stands you up for no apparent reason, and then vanishes off the face of the earth???

    Actually, I'm not sure I really want to know the answer to that question hahaha.

  10. #10
    PUArookie82 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: REALLY CONFUSING HB10. How to re-engage a potential tease? - MY FIRST P

    Hi,

    i sort of have the same problem....
    this girl is giving me all kind off mixed signals and don't know how to go about it...
    I don t know if i really like her or if it's just a case off i want what i can't get??
    the thing that drives me crazy is that i want to find out what the deal is (rahter yesterday as today) but don't want to come across as desperate.
    Driving myself crazy cauz in a kind a way i am so impatient and so eager to find out what the deal is
    Any tips to handel this impatience and how to handle this situation?
    Am i overthinking stuff to much? and should i focus on something else and just wait till a reaction from the girl?

    Any tips are so welcome hahaha cauz driving myself crazy


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