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  1. #1
    Highflier is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question Confused: looking for inspiration to follow through with my game


    So I'm new to the forum (this is my first post ever), and somewhat new to the game as well.

    Here's the deal:

    I used to be somewhat of a player in my earlier teenage years, but after getting an ugly reputation with women; I completely changed and became romantic and sensitive when it came to relationships. Usually my relationships lasted about two weeks, but ever since I "changed" I have been through three mid/long term relationships which devastated me. My first two weren't so bad, because although I felt pretty down for a couple of weeks, I always found myself back in the game, hooking up, or dating again pretty quickly.

    After my last relationship however, I was totally devastated. At first I acted like I didn't care and told my self "it's gona be fine, you'll find more chicks in no time" but as time went by, I learned that I had lost all of my game! not only that! but pretty much all my skills in life. I got moved down from the D1 soccer team at my school to D2, didn't even make D2 basketball when I was good enough to be in D1, my grades where going downhill, so was my social life, etc. And the worst part about it was that I didn't understand why or how this had happened especially in a place as crazy and wild as college can be. After about two months of dealing with this crap I finally decided to do something about it.

    I kept on texting my ex through out this period of trying to re-make my life, but after I felt like she was messing around with my feelings too much, I shut her out of my life completely. I had been reading The Game throughout this period of time, and although I was starting to get better responses from women, I was still getting no pussy and my ex remained in the back of my mind constantly and the more I thought about her the more desire I had to read on and try and hook up with other women. But for some reason it felt like the thought of my ex was what was drawing me away from other women. Every time I came close to hooking up with a girl I would blow it without even knowing why or how, and this would leave me confused and piss me off even more so i decided to take a few months off and just focus on myself. I started working out again during this period of time and playing a lot of basketball and soccer, studying a lot, ect. only focusing 100% on myself, ignoring women at all times. Funny thing about this was that at first I became a social outcast immediatly, girls giggled at me in groups (thankfully my bros always stayed true to me) but I ignored them and soon enough developed an ambitious sight (which I've been told recently by many girls is one of my strenghts) which for some reason could shut up these groups of chicks instantly. It felt pretty empowering at first, girls would be making fun of me behind my back, and I would stare at them and all of them would shut up immediatly and become intimidated. One chick in particular, became really flirty suddenly one day after several weeks of severely ignoring her childish actions. Ofcourse, since I had been focusing on myself, I started becoming a varsity athlete and top student once again and started putting on some muscle and stuff.... not trying to brag or anything, it's just that I learned from this that my own success is what ignited my success with women.

    It had been 4 months since I had last spoken to my ex by now and 7 since we had broken up, and I was finally starting to feel good about myself again, my social life was coming back to life, and I was starting to get potential girlfriends. But then my ex reappeared, and for almost a month she called me and texted me non-stop. I kept on ignoring her until one day I finally became so fed up that I answered. Immediately, I became extremely angered by the sound of her voice and bitched her out but after a few days of begging, I decided to hear her out. She apologized and brought back many memories which moved me and made me want to be with her again. I let her back into my life, and suddenly it felt like we were dating all over again (she goes to college in Miami, I in Boston). However, a few weeks later when she started shifting away once again I faced her and told her to be fair cause I let her back into my life and tell me why she was acting the way she was. She finally opened up and told me she had been dating a guy for 3 months now, and that's not what killed me about it; it was the fact that she lost her virginity to him after only a month when she struggled until the end of our 1 year and a half relationship to finally give in only to have it not work out in the end. I was devastated at first, but after a few weeks I felt relieved. I had known since the second we split that this was bound to happen because she is very revengeful but I was glad that I now knew it was true rather than have to wonder about it and try to make myself believe it wasn't.

    I suddenly stopped caring about her any more. I stopped paying attention to her, i stop letting her manipulate me, I started ignoring her once again but this time not out of anger but out of the fact that I don't want to listen to her anymore. And ever since my game with women has improved tremendously. I flew back to my home country of Colombia two weeks ago for the summer, and I've already been with more girls than she has been with guys in her whole life... but the problem is that my ex keeps on reappearing and all I want to do is tell her that I don't care anymore, that i've moved on, I want her to see how many girls I'm getting with and all the success I've had recovering academically and as an athlete, but this makes me wonder whether I still care about her or not? I started off wanting to sarge and get with women out of anger against my ex, and then once I started having success I wanted to do it because of how fun and addicting it is, but now, it seems like I just want to make her jealous, make her want me, and not let her have me just so she can realize the mistake she made. In the end, I just want to move on from her.... what are good ways to forget her? or let her go completely? get over my ego of wanting to make her jealous and switch into the mindset that I want to sarge for fun and entertainment, not for her. Any advise would be greatly appreciated ASAP.


  2. #2
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Confused: looking for inspiration to follow through with my game

    Sometimes only time heals. I went through a similar thing in my early 20's. Had a 4 year relationship and it took me about 2-3 years to truly get over it. My ex haunted my mind and I felt lousy I was not back into a similar quality relationship. I broke it off with her so I couldn't go backwards but I would often get sentimental feelings and the shrapnel from our relationship (good things not bad) held me back too. In some ways breaking off with her was worse because I was always looking for the next her but better. I became too picky and sometimes even a bit jaded. Over time though, I let my bar down lower, started having fun and just forgot about my ex completely. A friend once said to me it takes half the time you go out with someone to get over them and he could be right.

    You just have to let your ex go. File her away into the back of your mind and forget about her. Not every relationship will last but try make every relationship special.

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