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  1. #1
    dgmortal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default How much confidence is enough

    Girls in the office where I work sometimes label me as having too much confidence or even having fake confidence, how much confidence is enough? should I take them seriously?

  2. #2
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How much confidence is enough

    Confidence is measured more by what you can do rather than say. Perhaps they think your boastful in your conversations so balance it with some modesty or even witty self deprecation.

  3. #3
    LittleJoshy2J is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How much confidence is enough

    I don't think I've ever heard anyone complain about someone with too much confidence...

    I have heard plenty of people complain about someone who has a lot of confidence, they know it, and it turns into arrogance. Perhaps they are confusing the 2.

  4. #4
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    Cody is offline PUA All Star (RETIRED)
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    Default Re: How much confidence is enough

    This is a conversation I have at least weekly. Girls say there is a fine line between confident and cocky. Some guys will say it too. Regardless of gender there will always be people who say you need to make sure your ego is in check. I get called cocky all the time and I just brush it off.

    When it comes down to it it doesn't matter. There's always going to a difference between what people say and how things actually work. Don't worry about it, because if you don't spend time worrying about it neither will the women. Being cocky or arrogant wont stop them from going out with you. If anything you'll just have to be a little more persistent.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  5. #5
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    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: How much confidence is enough

    If they say you have fake confidence, then maybe you are too focussed on projecting confidence rather than being confident. Instead of talking yourself up or showing confidence through words, try just being entirely yourself. Greet the girls with a smile if that's what you like to do and when you disagree or want to give your opinion on something, do so without hesitation. Remember that your body language has to be congruent with what you say and do as well, but if you're truly confident, the less you think about it the more congruent it is.

  6. #6
    dgmortal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: How much confidence is enough

    Quote Originally Posted by Virgil View Post
    If they say you have fake confidence, then maybe you are too focussed on projecting confidence rather than being confident. Instead of talking yourself up or showing confidence through words, try just being entirely yourself. Greet the girls with a smile if that's what you like to do and when you disagree or want to give your opinion on something, do so without hesitation. Remember that your body language has to be congruent with what you say and do as well, but if you're truly confident, the less you think about it the more congruent it is.
    Having fake confidence is a sign of weak confidence, so I need even more confidence I think!
    I try to be myself, but you know, human identity is a completely fluid concept, I was a complete beta chump 6 months ago but now I can stand up between the other men as my confidence and self esteem improved.
    I feel a lot better about myself now, I wanted to change and I earned it, so I just want to stabilize my current identity as "Myself" in other words become more natural and comfortable with who I imagine to be now, I don't want to fall back to what I was a year ago.

  7. #7
    dgmortal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: How much confidence is enough

    Quote Originally Posted by LittleJoshy2J View Post
    I don't think I've ever heard anyone complain about someone with too much confidence...

    I have heard plenty of people complain about someone who has a lot of confidence, they know it, and it turns into arrogance. Perhaps they are confusing the 2.
    yeah I hate arrogant people, and I avoid it at all costs. I try to be a down to earth guy all the time, maybe that conflicts with my confidence and made people think I have fake confidence.

  8. #8
    rs5096's Avatar
    rs5096 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How much confidence is enough

    Hi Guys,

    I read a book recently that theorises that men generally are deemed as lower value then women on a societal level. Thus when a man shows off his confidence and doesn't bow to societal pressures he is deemed as too confident.

    Not sure if this is what is happening here, but thought fitting to mention.

    All the best
    rs5096

  9. #9
    Virgil's Avatar
    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: How much confidence is enough

    I don't think that's the case here, because all direct gamers show their confidence and don't bow to societal pressures. They are successful so overconfidence isn't a problem. I believe DGMortal does indirect game. I can't say the same for indirect because they do bow to societal pressure (no offence or judgement - just pointing it out). That's why I don't believe they deem him too confident.

  10. #10
    Gemini is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How much confidence is enough

    I will admit I think there's a fine line between confidence and arrogance. I think confidence is a very positive thing but arrogance is negative. It's like of you go cocky funny, it's just facetious so It's balanced.

    Either way, the point of the confidence of the PUA is that you do not seek approval from anyone, so if people think you're over-confident, it doesn't really matter. Like Mr. Onethousand said, just brush it off.

    : GeMiNi :&


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