Ok, so basically, I was in an LTR for 4 and a half years (1 1/2 years married). I discovered the book, The Game, In a book store during this LTR. Obviously I never used any of this to get girls but did test some of the stuff to see how it worked when talking to people. It never failed to hold attention. I separated from the marriage at the start of October. I had 3 months single in which I started to try stuff out. I ha developed many theories (I like theories lol). Not a lot of success. Then I entered into a new LTR lasting about 5 months. Now we've split up, I'm back to sarging. I learned more in a relationship that single weirdly lol. Trying new things, I have gotten further this time.
So I have re-thought my game because, whilst certain aspects were working, the way I was doing it before gave me no way to improve upon and got me nowhere. And I think I've figured out why. So here is my new basic gameplan until I improve and work for higher results. Any improvements or insights would be greatly appreciated:
First thing I decided was to stop making excuses not to open sets. I'd spend a long time waiting to find a set with a target. It was either "not enough files in that one", "no target"', "nah, she's not hot enough". I have now come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter. As I'm a rookie, I just need to work on my game a little bit, so now I'll approach the first set I see when I walk into a venue, whether all male, all female, mixed, couples whatever. I see them as warm up sets. Plus it's all good for social proof. Also, I'll find a set with a target ifF I set-merge or set-jump.
Next, I decided to focus more on body language, voice tone etc. I didn't give this enough priority before, but I realise that it is crucial. Delivery of lines, routines and stuff is everything. Also working on confidence and stuff. I've always been a person who doesn't care what people think, but I've taken that to a new level now.
Thirdly, Im gonna stop thinking about it too much. A canned opener and then maybe a deliberate DV story is, for now, necessary to get me started but after I over think it. Im getting past this thanks to you guys here and PUA forums, much respect guys . Plus, I kiss closed and number closed one night when I wasn't even trying and another night I spent glued to one other girls face (lol), again not trying. Granted the first was a friend of a friend, but it still counts lol. The second was my friend's sister (awkward lol), who's a friend of mine anyway. Looking back, mainly at the first. I tried to break down what I did. I have had some insights. Before, I scrapped how I normally am entirely to take on the persona the book suggested. Now I see it more as an extension of myself rather than a completely new way to be. I'm naturally a social person and I get on with practically everyone, I just give off a different vibe to girls, so I'm using this stuff to give off a different one.
Not that I didn't expect to fail before but I convinced myself it wasn't a possibility, so when I don't succeed it bummed me out and I'd leave a night out feeling down. Now I go in there, not expecting to fail, but accepting it as a possibility. My new outlook is that every failure is a good thing because I learn from it. I look back and figure out what went wrong and work on it next time. I've never been rejected by a set but I know when I'm losing them because I run out of things to say or whatever and I eject. But, with my new inner locust going, this doesn't phase me, each time I have to eject now, I almost smile, because to me it's one step closer to becoming good at this. I can leave a night out happy now because I've learned and I've just had a good night with friends regardless. So, every time I "lose" is just a learning curve.
This is what Ive been working on for te last week or so since I developed the idea for a change. I've been out the last 4 nights in a row. Only number closed twice after about 20 approaches, but that's the beauty of my new mindset. It doesn't matter. Each time I approach I can tell that I'm getting better. I've pretty much got approaching and opening down. I hit a sticking point in moving on from there, but I'm working on it, again thanks for the advice guys .
Well, if you read my essay, tank you, I know it wasn't easy xD.
So, yeah, any thoughts would help. Thanks guys.
£: GeMiNi :&