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  1. #1
    qb3489ny is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default 23 and already throwing in the towel

    Hey guys idk who else to talk to so i figured id write on here and get some feed back. Im 23 yrs old and it seems i cant get a gf. I been rejected so many times i lost count, people said i looked to hard so i stopped looking and still nothing happen. So instead i concentrated on whats important in my life which was college and finding a career, and now i have a good job and still no significant other. I know im only 23 but it sucks, i feel like ill never be able to find someone. Id understand if i was ugly or obese or a loser or a jerk but im none of those i treat women with respect go to the gym religiously goal orientated and i have a future. I thought girls would mature when they get older but i lost count even now when i hear girls complain about how all guys are jerks, or i see girls date complete losers and they wonder why whats wrong with them. I dont know what wrong with me, i feel the longer you remain single the more u start to think there is something wrong with u. I cant get drunk when i go out with friends because i get really depressed and tear up and its pathetic because i feel like ill never find someone. So now i havent been talking to anyone i have no motive anymore to even try with a girl anymore i dont ask any on dates i dont flirt with them or anything my friends are like how about u go up to that girl and talk to her and honestly i dont feel like it anymore. im tired of getting burned id understand like i said uptop if i was really ugly or a bad person / loser but im not that. I dont know what to do anymore This whole relationship thing got me very cold hearted. Im just so tired of putting effort into something and either she just never talks to me anymore or goes back out with her ex. I need help or advice. I lost all hope

  2. #2
    Virgil's Avatar
    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: 23 and already throwing in the towel

    I know how you feel, bro. You've come to the right place. You need to clear your head and feelings a bit first, and focus on the fact that we are here to help you. There are tons of guys here that couldn't get a girlfriend at first, and are great with them now.

    After you've sorted yourself out a little you can start by reading this.

  3. #3
    SonnyCurtis is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 23 and already throwing in the towel

    Dude I can relate. I'm 20 never had a girlfriend. All my teenage years I told myself I'm just not good enough, I'm a loser, there's something fundamentally wrong with me that will keep me from ever getting a girl. Dude, lose that attitude immediately. Have faith in yourself. You wonder why you don't have a GF but you blatantly turned down an oppurtunity to talk to that girl. You WILL NOT find a girlfriend if you don't even try. Stop telling yourself it's not gonna happen - it's self-fulfilling dude. If you believe you will take the steps necessary to achieve.

    You need a serious attitude change. Stop being so goal-oriented. Live in the moment. HAVE FUN with girls. Talking to girls is fun. Flirting is fun. It's supposed to be! Next time you're talking to a girl get out of your head dude. Go with the flow. Enjoy the moment. Don't worry about what it means. Don't worry about what comes next. Life has a funny way of working itself out when you just live.

    I know this advice is cliche but you gotta lose the woe is me routine. I understand it - you're afraid you're gonna get burned. So you don't even try. But that's the surest way to failure! Do you want this or not? Believe man. Believe and you will take the steps necessary to achieve. Do or do not, there is no try.

  4. #4
    rs5096's Avatar
    rs5096 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 23 and already throwing in the towel

    Hey there,

    It's obvious that excluding the girl aspect from your life things are going pretty well for you. Pat yourself on the back for that because at 23 I was not nearly in as good a position.

    Pick up is a skill. Furthermore, it is a learnable skill.There are naturals out there; don't compare yourself to them. And let's face it there are far worse things then learning the skill to pick up girls. It's fun and "game" will filter down into all aspects improving those that are already good.

    The advice in this forum is second to none - I wish I had all this info at my fingertips when I was 23. Virgil's link is gold. I'd also recommend reading "The Game" and then "The Rules of the Game" which is in my opinion the best self help book out there.

    Hope this helps
    rs5096

  5. #5
    Gemini is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 23 and already throwing in the towel

    Hey man. I think the situation you're in is the reason a lot of guys turn to PUA. For a start, focus on the positive, you've achieved a lot for 23. I'm 22 and not nearly close to what you have there.

    Like the other guys said, you need a mindset change. I've been there. I was married and I let her walk all over me. She ran me into the ground so much I believed I wasn't worth anything to anyone, but it was the whole PUA thing that helped me a lot to regain confidence. We've all been there, man.

    Yeah, have fun with girls, if the right girl comes along from it, all the better for you, mate. You're right, girls don't grow out of the whole "all guys are jerks" thing, the whole point of what we do is to prove that it's untrue.

    My advice is to gain a higher sense of self-worth. If you don't believe you're good enough for her to stay with you, how can she? If she doesn't want to stay with you, that's her problem. You need to gain confidence and think of it that way.

    Dude, read the newbie guide and give some stuff a try, you might be shocked at the results it has on you on the way you see yourself. Plus, the guys on here are freat, if you have something you're confused on or need help with something, they'll all help you as best they can.

    Good luck with whatever you do. If you listen to us and go with this stuff, welcome to the community, brother .

    : GeMiNi :&

  6. #6
    A_P_B is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: 23 and already throwing in the towel

    You really need some inner confidence and the attitude of " I am who i am, if they don't like it, f-*** them " Sounds like you are stressing out over finding a girlfriend, when you do approach it that way, you become wrapped up with it as an objective, leaving you feel down and depressed.

    If you look back on your life, i can guarantee that everything links together and has led to the next thing and so on. What you are going through at the moment is merely a learning curve so you can adapt your mindset.

    Keep strong and BELIEVE that you would be a dream for any girl.

    - A

  7. #7
    mrboxingfan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: 23 and already throwing in the towel

    confidence is a joke, you need proper education and therapy. I recommend Emotional Transformation therapy and hypnotic work on limiting beliefs.

    thry kezia noble, Speed Seduction, and Mystery.

    Your biting off more than you can chew, start with talking to them and getting them into conversations then get Amogged by someone else and in the friend zone. Get to this frustrating point and we will go from there.

  8. #8
    Virgil's Avatar
    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: 23 and already throwing in the towel

    Quote Originally Posted by mrboxingfan View Post
    confidence is a joke, you need proper education and therapy. I recommend Emotional Transformation therapy and hypnotic work on limiting beliefs.

    thry kezia noble, Speed Seduction, and Mystery.

    Your biting off more than you can chew, start with talking to them and getting them into conversations then get Amogged by someone else and in the friend zone. Get to this frustrating point and we will go from there.
    Nice advice, lol.

    Don't do that....

  9. #9
    qb3489ny is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: 23 and already throwing in the towel

    Thanks guys appreciate it im going to read over that link and keep all of you updated. I recently went on a date with a girl last week i met at the bar. She was pretty cool we got along great and she wanted to see a movie after. So we went into the theater and she starts holding my arm and so on and she leans in and says here is a piece of game if we make out later so i took that piece of gum and made out with her right away.She had some balls especially on the firstdate for that but it gets a little more interesting. Later on in the movie she is playing with my hand holding it etc, then she kisses it.? Never had that happen before then she leans in and says she always wanted to be a lingerie model lol nice. but random? Anyway the movie ended i walked her to her car and gave her a kiss goodbye. But it just doesn't add up. She says the next day that she likes me but she doesn't want to take it fast i understand. Then she says how she needs attention 100% of the time and if she dosnt get it she will go somewhere else. I said alright. So then she goes on and saying ver the phone how she misses me a lot and it feels like she known me awhile. I asked her from the last time i saw her till now which was a week if she went on other dates besides me she said yes im like jesus within that week frame? Idk what to do with this girl because then she throws out that she has a big secret that she doesn't want to share with me until she gets to know me and its about her family. She said she just doesnt want me to think she isnt beautiful after she tells me if she tells me? So uh what should i do ? is this a future crazy?

  10. #10
    rs5096's Avatar
    rs5096 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 23 and already throwing in the towel

    Hey bro',

    Do you like the girl? If you do, give her a chance.

    Also the facgt that she has dated other guys shouldn't be a big deal. you guys aren't exclusive.

    She sounds like she is a real fun girl. IMO take her out again.

    Go to a bar nearby your place, then ask her to come back to your place to watch a DVD.

    Hope this helps
    rs5096


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