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  1. #1
    kingkickass101 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default need help with girl who is perfect for me

    So I work with a bunch of nerds. Majority of the guys at my job play the card game magic. Its not my thing, but every Monday they get together and play. The past few weeks me and another guy from my job who doesn't play the game started going out barhopping with a couple of the girls. We've been doing this every Monday. I made the mistake of getting close to one of the girls and now every Monday we get closer and closer to hooking up.

    Sounds great right? Well there's a problem. She's dating one of the magic players - lol.

    I normally wouldn't need help in this situation but I've started having feelings for this girl and its screwing with my head. She really is perfect for me and every part of me is telling me to take her but there's so many red flags that are being raised.

    She just moved in with her boyfriend which she told me she didn't want to but felt like she should. She won't cheat on him which is fine by me I really don't want her to. But last Monday she told me if she wasn't in a relationship we'd be having sex.

    She even told me there's a good chance they won't be together much longer. So the conclusion I've come to is try breaking them up or wait it out.

  2. #2
    FauxPas is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: need help with girl who is perfect for me

    FauxPas here. Kingkickass101,no, no, no! there is no such thing as the perfect girl.......just the perfect next girl! She is moving in with another man. There is also the potential of work politics that her boyfriend could play against you, and make your work life a living hell! Give her an Ultimatum. But at the same time if she's willing to leave him, she'll have no problem leaving you! I'd take the next HB if I was you! There is always, ALWAYS, another just around the corner! Good luck, good vibes. Ciao, FauxPas.

  3. #3
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: need help with girl who is perfect for me

    I think it's great you found someone special and that you are willing to make an LTR. Try to recognize though if you remove the temptation for sex and the fact that she's a challenge, because she has a bf who she claims to be leaving, that your feelings for her would probably not be as strong. Still all good though.

    If I were you I'd play it safe and wait it out. Not just because if you were to force it you may hurt your chances, but also to think about the consequences. Like the fact that you ALL work together. It may be fun to "sneak around" the first few months, but may become complicated down the line. But hey, life is about taking risks right? So I wish you good luck, and just take it slow. Play this one safe. Hope this helps and good luck.

  4. #4
    roland777 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: need help with girl who is perfect for me

    I think she told me the same thing last night....

    Seriously though, wait it out...be unattainable for the time being...sounds like she is the PUA...

    great advice from BatMan and FauxPas....

  5. #5
    kingkickass101 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: need help with girl who is perfect for me

    This is all really great advice guys thank you. I was thinking about giving it a rest with this one. Next time we hangout ill be more reserved. Another thing I forgot to say in my original post was I had told a buddy at work about a girl I had sex with and he made a joke that I was turning into a player. I openly deny this but everyone I work with seems to think I am now. Ever since this started she's been giving more attention. There's definite sexual tension between the two of us though and its hard for me not to wanna jump at the opportunity.

  6. #6
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    Bandit is offline PUA All Star
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    Cool Re: need help with girl who is perfect for me

    I'll toss in my two cents.

    Wait it out. You've got all the time in the world. You two both work in the same place, so if/when she does break up you'll be the first to know. Until then, enjoy the flirting. Tease her, flirt with her, just have fun with it. Just don't get too committed. While she's with him, you're out being the office player. Then, if things open up, youve got a shot with a great girl. And instead of being her back up boy youre out having fun while you wait.

  7. #7
    SvenGali is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: need help with girl who is perfect for me

    FauxPass laid it out perfectly. There is no such thing as a perfect girl. You are constantly searching for a better replacement if you will. Do not think this way or it may tend to compromise your inner game in that you will play more reserved and ultimately not be the outgoing, risky, playful dude you used to be.

    Bandit brings up a good point in that if things open up or the possibility of a casual relationship without dating arises, then you'd have to weigh out the repercussions at work vs. the relationship with her.

    All in all, i suggest maintaining sexual tension (jokes, teasing, YOUR game) but intermittently. Make her chase you by making your affections scarce and have her work for it. Give it a little bit more time before you make a decision. Besides, you're the office player who can go out and find another one just like her tomorrow night. This will only work in your favor.

    Hope this helps

  8. #8
    Penticle is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: need help with girl who is perfect for me

    You probably want her more because;
    - its "naughty" she is in a relationship its exciting for someone to want you over someone they are already committed with
    - Shes taken
    - she gives you attention and makes you feel good about yourself

    Take away all these things, do you think you would still feel the same about her and if so is it worth risking problems at work over it. Even if you dont hook up with her while she is with that guy, but instead later after they have broken up like she claims they will, there still can be problems at work.

    Just remember girls play guys just as much as guys play girls.

    FauxPas is right, there is no such thing as a perfect girl, or perfect human being for all that matter.

    In my opinion, you should be able to find another girl just as easily that makes you feel the same way that doesnt have these potential problems, are you THE MAN with options coming from a place of abundance, or a boy who is coming from a place of scarcity and little options? You know the answer to this, and if you have options, you know what the right one is..

    If you do choose to let her be with you, I think breaking them up has a lot more potential problems than waiting it out. At least when you wait it out, you have less of chance of conflict between you and her bf (soon to be ex) plus between now and then you can be with other girls, you might find someone even more "perfect". Also if your with other girls and not giving her too much attention her attraction should be maintained, so you will be happy and it will be a win/win in the end.

  9. #9
    kingkickass101 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: need help with girl who is perfect for me

    Even more solid advice thank you all. I feel very confident about the situation and what I'm going to do.


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