BTW I am new to this forum, and I'm looking forward to integrating myself into this community. Anyways, I met a HB8 through the fiancee of a close friend. We hit it off right away, IOI's present -- definite chemistry there between us. Got a number close but learned she also lived in Massachusetts (I live in New Mex) and also learned that she was only there for that night. Fast forward 3 months, I've gotten to know her a fair amount via phone/online, but its been limited by my own effort.
Now this is important: My friends fiancee told me last night that this girl likes me but had a bad experience with an online guy which made her feel as if though she "can't do online things" because she ends up wanting the guy too badly and the distance drives her crazy. Furthermore, she just graduated college (age: 22) and doesn't know what she wants in life, which is understandable. Apparently she explicitly stated: "we'd have to talk more and stuff to see about a relationship, but we'll see what happens. But I don't want to make him upset either at the same time.. just if like he does want something to come out of it and for whatever reason i dont want to or cant".
Here is the main problem. The girl has become incredibly hard to talk to. We've never discussed a relationship but we both know that we are very interested in each other. Every time I make an advance in getting to know her, I'm stonewalled. So I just act like its nothing and we carry on having a basic and fun convo.
me: So I got this new webcam, I'd say it really enhances my looks but that would be a lie considering no cam could truly capture all my sexiness.
she: laughs and playfully says "Uh-huh" in a sarcastic tone.
me: So when I next get around to calling you on Oovoo (cam chat program) you'll turn on yours and appease your master. (Note: she's always kept it off in the past when we have talked on Oovoo).
me: how come you never use yours anyway?
she: don't really want to i guess, i dont know
me: -change of subject to something funny-
The above type of convo, whenever I try to get to know personal things about her, ends up in a consistently similar nonchalant or apathetic result. I'd just drop her and find another local girl, but I gotta admit that I like the challenge of this one. I might be deceiving myself but the initial chemistry we had was something I've never experienced (and I've been with a fair amount of girls).
I'm a couple years older and know much more confidently what I want and I'm pretty well to do on money. I state this because I know that her previous long distance relationship(s?) were probably with younger guys that knew nothing about what they wanted nor did they have the monetary means to make it work. I would be willing to make it work.
As I stated above, the fact that she likes me but is scared is blatantly obvious. I need to figure out how to bust through this barrier. I was considering taking a more "Juggler Method" type approach and, after a week or so (so she doesn't immediately think her friend fed me info) address her fears directly with both empathetic confidence and understanding but I can't help feel like I might be degenerating into the AFC mentality. Course its starting to feel like I'm already there, hence my frustration and why I'm here asking help from my fellow bretheren Any advice?