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  1. #1
    hereweare is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Question about LMR for a relationship

    Hi all,

    So right now I have a few good friends with benefits situations but at the same time I am going out/ dating with more of a relationship goal in mind at this point.

    Before going into boring details - here is my question:

    Do you guys think that if going for a relationship rather than a random hookup I should back off on disarming F-close LMR? Should I just be more patient? My feeling always was that if after a few dates they are still having doubts, it's never going to happen. Thus handle the LMR and F-close and then move on. But, this has happened twice in almost the exact same way, so I am re-thinking my position. Any thoughts?

    If you are still reading, here are more details about what happened (twice in a row):

    In both cases we had gone on a few good dates before finally f-closing (first girl was around 4 dates second girl was on 2nd date). In both cases the girls seem into it but when working towards the f-close they give me a lot of LMR. I obviously worked passed it and we f-closed. I truly don't think I ever crossed the line in terms of not respecting a "real no" and the nights both ended fairly well after (so the girls never seemed upset or anything, girl 2 wanted to have another go).

    But, after f-closing something seems to change a few days later when we talk again. Girl 1 hung out again but flat out said she had fun but didn't want to keep hanging out and Girl 2 seems to be fading away in the same way as Girl 1.

    Again, with the above girls I was seeing if a relationship would eventually develop rather than just trying to close as fast as possible and move on. I don't mind being a little patient because I do have a rotation of girls for other things, but I obviously don't want to waste my time either.

    Thanks a lot, appreciate all the help!

  2. #2
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: LMR

    Mind you this is only my opinion and nothing is meant to sound offensive. I have a few ideas what it might be...

    Its possible that you didn't build enough comfort or rapport with them. If you can make them feel that they are very special to you AT THE APPROPRIATE TIME then being able to get intimate should be much smoother. Also use future projections if you want to let her know you see her in your future.

    Its also possible that you were not challenging enough. If you have not used much push/pull or create intrigue then there is not much mental stimulation as there could be.

    Now the dreaded answer that you may want to consider. Its also possible that your bedroom skills are questionable. I would not worry though. There is plenty of general advice across the internet to teach you how to please a woman like no other man. Learn some new things and see if that changes anything. Hope this helps and good luck.

  3. #3
    hereweare is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: LMR

    Thanks for the reply!

    Good point about future plans. I have always tended to avoid talking too much about future plans as I thought it could work against push/ pull. But I guess it could also help build comfort/ make them think they are not just a one night stand (though I always felt its obvious if we have had a few dates I am showing more interest then just a hookup - but that is also male logic).

    In terms of creating intrigue/ mental stimulation - any tips on the best way to follow up after f-closing that show the girl you are interested but don't make you seem that available/ needy?

    The dreaded answer - haha, it is certainly possible. That said, the only reason I eliminated that option was because I do have a few FB situations and those girls seem very satisfied . . . it's just these LMR girls that don't come back for more ha.

    I have been trying to replay what I did to disarm their LMR but I can't really think of it, it just was in the moment and worked. It's just an odd pattern I have noticed - any LMR girl lately seems to fade out after. Maybe I am pushing too hard and should just back off when I face LMR (assuming the situation seems worth putting the time/ effort into).

    Thanks!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: LMR

    Pushing hard during LMR would in theory remove the idea of you being a challenge so yes you may be on to something. Push/pull should be done throughout your entire interaction with her. You're words and body language have to contradict themselves. Ex: " I know this may sound strange, but I feel i already miss you. Or maybe its just gas." Or tell her you are going to call her back in a few. Then call her the next day apologizing because you got busy.

    And future projections don't have to be real. Tie in some roleplaying and say how you are both going on a trip to South America to hunt a rare rabbit/bear/monkey etc and how would the trip go. But it's also good to let her know you have actual concrete plans with each other when you knows she's interested in you.

  5. #5
    hereweare is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: LMR

    UPDATE:

    Thanks for the replies everyone. Just got a text from Girl# 2 "I'm sorry to do this, you're awesome and sweet, but I just don't see this going anywhere"

    So, I couldn't care less if it doesn't work out, though if anyone has any ideas for responses that could A. Just be fun to experiment with, B. Possibly bring it around to us getting together again/ FB situation (which she was open to before), I'd love to hear them.

    Thanks!


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