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  1. #1
    theRocker is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need the opinion of an expert. Instant date, but no number close!! wtf!!

    so i was at the university.. i saw this HB alone in the room.. i counted 3 seconds and i went in..

    theRocker: is the english language exam here?
    HB: yes!

    I didn't say anything else and without caring about her I sat just in the only chair in front of her, giving her my back, and pretending to search something in my bag..

    she moved to an other chair at her right and opened me..

    HB: do you know if the exam... (and other bullshits)

    i started replying to her, first continuing searching staff in my bag, then beginning to move sometimes my body in her direction in order to look her in the face and giving her my back again.

    so after some small talks, i began my routines, telling stories, demonstrating higher value.. i talked about my experiences abroad, my activities as president of a student association, and she seemed very interested in what i were telling.. it found out she is 28 and I immediately told her I am 24.
    then when her friend arrived, i asked her to introduce me to him..

    finally i decided to move to join my friends, thinking to go to her again after the exam..

    after the exam i was waiting for her out of the room.. i was talking to the phone so i didn't look like i was waiting for her.. she saw me and acted like she didn't see me, looking around, going nowhere.. so i went to her, we spoke a little and finally i invited her to go to have a coffee together.. she accepted.. (this is my first instant date!!!! XD )

    so we moved by car to a bar and we had an aperitif.. at the bar I told her a lot of stories, and interesting staff about me.. i used some kino, touching her arm, or her leg..

    also i took my phone saying nothing for a few seconds and then i moved my chair closer to her..

    theRocker: here, look! (and i moved my chair closer to her) this is a picture of a party I organized 2 weeks ago!

    I also used the routine of the qualities..

    theRocker: beauty is common.. tell me.. what is your best quality.. something that should let me think to know you more..
    HB: I'm sweet..!!

    actually her life is not so interesting.. so when i stopped talking, to look her in the eyes, she reacted in an unexpected way..

    HB: you should now be thinking "what sort of girl i found today?!!"
    theRocker: why?? no.. absolutely!!

    and also she asked me a question that let me think she is searching for some serious relationship..

    HB: you are not the kind of guy who makes plans for the long term.. aren't you?
    theRocker: it depends.. if i like something i put all my passion in it and i can do it for a very long time.. otherwise if I don't really like it I soon lose my interest in it..

    Finally i paid for the drinks and when she said "don't worry" i told her next time it will be her time to offer..

    so i brought her by car where she had to go and i asked for her number..

    HB: so i'm gonna add you on facebook..
    theRocker: are you going to give me your telephone number?
    HB: no..
    theRocker: why?? (!!!!)
    HB: because we don't know each other..
    theRocker: and that's why you should give me your number.. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!)
    HB: no...

    Finally, after 3 days, she never added me on facebook.. i searched for her and sent her the request of friendship and a message.. and she didn't even answer to the message..

    any opinion?? any suggestions??

  2. #2
    pwonager is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need the opinion of an expert. Instant date, but no number close!! wtf!

    Sounds like she's crazy, and not in a good way.

  3. #3
    pwonager is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need the opinion of an expert. Instant date, but no number close!! wtf!

    FYI, i'm no expert.......LOL

    ((((())))))

  4. #4
    Suave Kino's Avatar
    Suave Kino is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need the opinion of an expert. Instant date, but no number close!! wtf!

    It seems like she was disqualifying you. You should have compliance tested further. Maybe you lost her at some point.

  5. #5
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Need the opinion of an expert. Instant date, but no number close!! wtf!

    Great job on the instant date man. According to your post it didn't seem you got much out of her other than she is sweet. You did most of the talking and didn't really get to know her, I'm assuming.

    To add to that she actually QUALIFIED you! (aka prize test. Credit to Swingcat) And you answered which basically reinforces the frame that she is the prize, even though you were doing DHV routines.

    It's important to reach her on some kind of emotional level. Spitting out DHV material back to back will not do that. You have to engage her using things like push/pull, compliance test, disqualifiers, even cold reads. When you start getting those IOI's then you HAVE to qualify her. The important thing isn't so much the qualfier, but your Statement of Interest that follows. This will solidify in her mind that your interest in her goes deeper than the physical level. Hope this helps and good luck.

  6. #6
    pwonager is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need the opinion of an expert. Instant date, but no number close!! wtf!

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    Great job on the instant date man. According to your post it didn't seem you got much out of her other than she is sweet. You did most of the talking and didn't really get to know her, I'm assuming.

    To add to that she actually QUALIFIED you! (aka prize test. Credit to Swingcat) And you answered which basically reinforces the frame that she is the prize, even though you were doing DHV routines.

    It's important to reach her on some kind of emotional level. Spitting out DHV material back to back will not do that. You have to engage her using things like push/pull, compliance test, disqualifiers, even cold reads. When you start getting those IOI's then you HAVE to qualify her. The important thing isn't so much the qualfier, but your Statement of Interest that follows. This will solidify in her mind that your interest in her goes deeper than the physical level. Hope this helps and good luck.
    what do you mean by "Statement of Interest"? and how will this solidify in her mind that your interest in her goes beyond the Physical level ???

  7. #7
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Need the opinion of an expert. Instant date, but no number close!! wtf!

    Quote Originally Posted by pwonager View Post
    what do you mean by "Statement of Interest"? and how will this solidify in her mind that your interest in her goes beyond the Physical level ???
    The best way to qualify a woman is after she is already attracted to you. If you do it before then it's a risk, but you can still do it after she is laughing. Something like "You are too much of a nice/bad girl for me. My mother warned me about your type." or something more direct "What is the most romantic thing you've done recently?"

    The statement of interest is saying something like "Wow that's incredible. You know, it's not everyday I meet someone that is THAT romantic. People play so many games nowadays is looks like chivalry is dead. But I'm glad that not everyone feels the same way. You're still a dork though....."

    This will show her you are interested in her on a more deeper level than physical. So later when you DO get physical and she asks herself "Why is this guy ready to sleep with me?" she will already know. No LMR

  8. #8
    pwonager is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need the opinion of an expert. Instant date, but no number close!! wtf!

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    The best way to qualify a woman is after she is already attracted to you. If you do it before then it's a risk, but you can still do it after she is laughing. Something like "You are too much of a nice/bad girl for me. My mother warned me about your type." or something more direct "What is the most romantic thing you've done recently?"

    The statement of interest is saying something like "Wow that's incredible. You know, it's not everyday I meet someone that is THAT romantic. People play so many games nowadays is looks like chivalry is dead. But I'm glad that not everyone feels the same way. You're still a dork though....."

    This will show her you are interested in her on a more deeper level than physical. So later when you DO get physical and she asks herself "Why is this guy ready to sleep with me?" she will already know. No LMR
    Thanks Batman, can you give more examples of Statement of interests? is there a list out there?

  9. #9
    trumpcard33 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need the opinion of an expert. Instant date, but no number close!! wtf!

    I think you did very well "minus the disappointing ending". You have a good game plan : stories, DHVs, confidence ex.. In my opinion where you went wrong was with overdoing it. Sounds like you stole the show and she never got to express herself. Once you have her hooked get her talking, get her emotionally attached by her sharing herself to you. In the beginning you need to establish comfort so that when you do call her she will be excited to talk to you. You gotta celebrate her my man try it out!

  10. #10
    Gemini is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need the opinion of an expert. Instant date, but no number close!! wtf!

    Hey rocker. Firstly, I'm no expert, but I think I can pinpoint a few things tat went wrong here. Good work on the instadate, though .

    Suave Kino and BatMan have made some very relevant points (I suggest you pay attention to them, those guys know their sh1t lol). I'll give a couple more specifics.

    When you went silent on your phone and moved your chair closer without mention of what you were going to show her, that made it obvious you wanted to move closer and probably caused her to become a little uncomfortable. If you were going to move closer, you should have gone for a "bullsh1t baffles brain" kind of tactic. Like saying "let me show you -whatever you're going to show her-" and talk about it whilst moving. Though the better thing would have been to say "come and look at this pic" or whatever and let her move closer to you, this is a compliance test for which you missed opportunity.

    A good use of the "beauty is common" qualifier. Though when she said "I'm sweet" I would have said something like "well I know loads of sweet girls, what else?"

    And when she qualified you saying "you should w thinking what kind of girl I met today", you agreed, therefore, like BatMan said, she now believes she is the prize. I would have said something like "not as much as you shoul be thinking what kind of guy you met today". There are probably better things than that, like I said I'm no expert, but with that I would have not bought into her frame and she stays in mine. Never let your frame be shaken.

    When she said about the long term planning thing, you did well at expressing passion and I like your follow up, however I think she felt as if she wanted to prove you liked her, hence the lack of number close. Don't take my word on that, just a theory. I would have asked how she meant it too.

    Now for the number close itself. Don't ask her for her number, give her an opportunity to offer it to you. My two personal favourite ways of this are Style's "I've enjoyed our conversation, what steps can we take to continue it" and Sauve Kino's 95% number close (here's a link).

    Also, when she said no to the number, you said "why??", this you reacted to her, again she now believes that she is the prize. You have to be non-reactive, you get girls day and night, you don't need her validation. That's the mindset you have to have.

    It's a game, I've heard it said, I think it was Mystery, that you have to see it like a game because that helps a lot in rejection you may face, it's a game, it's not real.

    You showed you were afraid of losing her, you have to go for a girl and not care about losing her. Sorry dude, but it seems in the end she played you.

    Again, good work on the instadate, keep it up . Hope this helped.

    : GeMiNi :&


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