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  1. #1
    HughMirin is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Arrow Suddenly became the creep. What to do from here? (Long)

    This girl used to like me, but I never liked her back. For some unknown reason, I was always mean to her and always blew her off and thought she was extremely annoying. Then one day, I did something pretty screwed up and it got her really mad at me. Thats another story, but whats important is that she was REALLY mad at me. That night I went home and though to myself, wow, that was messed up. I need to be nicer to her now because I genuinely feel bad about what I did.

    So, I apologized to her for what I did, shes been a friend for 13 years. She forgave me, and each consecutive time we've hung out, I've been very nice to her, very friendly, and nice to her through texts messages. In the process of me being nice, she mistook that as me liking her. So she goes to my friends house and tells him she thinks I like her (which I DID, I just didnt want her to know just to avoid any awkwardness since we've been friends for a super long time)

    So, my buddy records this conversation on his iPhone and she proceeds to say that

    - She doesnt really like me (she used to)
    - She flirts with me just to "fuk" with me (Made me mad)
    - I'm just a friend (Dont pretend like you like me and then tell my friends youre screwing with me)
    - She thinks Im in love with her now just because she kissed me on the cheek once
    - She thinks I like her because I'm being nice to her via text messages as well. And shared these messages with my best friend

    ----------------------------------------------

    So, a couple weeks go by and this girl is starting to take everything I've done/said and managed to find a way to twist it up and make it seem like Im in love with her. She never said I was a creep, but I FEEL that way now. She cant even tell me to my face, she tells my best friend and he tells me. I've never called her out on her stuff. Heres whats happening:

    1. I like love songs, among other genres. So when were in her car (or mine) with all our friends, I plug in my phone and play these songs. Everybody likes them, but she tells our friend that I'm playing them as a "dedication" to her. Like I'm playing the songs so that the lyrics are dedicated to her via me. This isnt the case, I just the music, so does everybody else. I've become a creep without even knowing it.

    2. We ride bikes, skateboards, etc around the neighborhood and to the beach to chill once in a while. Such is life in Southern Cali. Haha. My friend had a bike, she had a skateboard, and I had scooter (lol). It was a razor scooter, the kind that middle school kids ride. Its fun to ride, but its small, and I'm 6'4". Im hunched over and my hip hurts when I ride it. So as my friend is riding the bike, she pulls up along side him on her skateboard and holds onto the handlebars so they can roll together and stuff. Im minding my own business on the scooter and I'm getting tired of riding this thing meant for 13 year olds, so I ask my friend to trade, and he obliges. Later on I find out that she thinks I asked for the bike so she can hang on while I was riding the bike, I'm not that desperate or pathetic, jesus, what the hell is her problem?

    3. Every time I make eye contact with her during a conversation she tells my buddy im giving her "that look"

    Really? I dont understand how she manages to think this way, and as a result I feel like a total creep and I feel like I dont want her to ever see me because now I feel embarrassed. I'm constantly trying to find ways to reverse this, even though I'm not consciously doing it. Its just how I act. Now im kinda mad at her for making me feel like a tool, but I dont show it and I havent called her out. I cant call her out because I'd have to tell her that my friend tells me everything about me she doesnt want me to know.

    This is REALLY immature but I have to find a way to do this because I want to still be friends with her, i've known her for 13 years. I also want her to go back to liking me like she used to. She liked me when I was a douche, now that I'm polite, she doesnt.

    She flirts ALOT. But she admitted that its not real. Should I judge based on her actions? Or is she just fake flirting to get a response out of me so she can feel powerful/controlling?

    I feel like ive lost the power in this relationship, how do I get it back?

    PS. Ive ignored her for 6 days now. Thanks

  2. #2
    0Rooster0's Avatar
    0Rooster0 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Suddenly became the creep. What to do from here? (Long)

    Shes insecure, shes trying to boost her self esteem by bringing you down. Shes a leech and shes going to continue to tear you down to bring herself up. Don't be anywhere near her and to answer your question dont trust what a girl says, because it nearly never holds water. All I've ever will trust around a women is her bodylanguage.
    "I've never seen anyone pull as quickly or as efficiently as you"
    -HarryRat(Simplepicku p)

  3. #3
    HughMirin is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Suddenly became the creep. What to do from here? (Long)

    Quote Originally Posted by 0Rooster0 View Post
    Shes insecure, shes trying to boost her self esteem by bringing you down. Shes a leech and shes going to continue to tear you down to bring herself up. Don't be anywhere near her and to answer your question dont trust what a girl says, because it nearly never holds water. All I've ever will trust around a women is her bodylanguage.
    Thanks for the advice, made me feel better about the situation.

    But regarding not being anywhere near her, thats a bit tough. Shes part of our very tight knit group of friends, so shes almost always there. I'm not about to bail on my best buddies over a girl. Instead of avoiding her, how should I act when I do see her?

  4. #4
    SuperDry is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Suddenly became the creep. What to do from here? (Long)

    Quote Originally Posted by HughMirin View Post
    Thanks for the advice, made me feel better about the situation.

    But regarding not being anywhere near her, thats a bit tough. Shes part of our very tight knit group of friends, so shes almost always there. I'm not about to bail on my best buddies over a girl. Instead of avoiding her, how should I act when I do see her?
    Yo.

    If you can't help but see her because she's part of a tight group of friends, start calling her out on her immaturity. I mean... does she call you out for your "creep" behavior in front of your friends? I feel like that's selfish and can be disruptive the group as a whole when you guys are chilling, but if it isn't too much, then just retort back. That's sure to help you regain some of your dominance in the relationship.

    I say this because I've made girls I had issues with cry when they misbehave enough. Even if they're with their friends, it just adds to the effect. Afterwards they wouldn't have to apologize to show it, but if you can make some legitimate comebacks to her, then you'd regain some respect. She's BSing you and making drama but you can counter that by being honest and straightforward when it becomes too much of a problem.

    Otherwise, avoiding her would still seem like the safer choice. You'd miss out on hanging out with your buds, but you won't have to deal with the crap she does to you. And there might be other opportunities to hang out with your buds without her. Who knows?

    - SuperDry

  5. #5
    HughMirin is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Suddenly became the creep. What to do from here? (Long)

    I cant really call her out because she doesnt know that I know shes been talking behind my back.

    She tells my friend and he tells me. I dont want to call her out and reveal that he's been telling me this info, because I dont want to ruin things between them.

  6. #6
    SuperDry is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Suddenly became the creep. What to do from here? (Long)

    Quote Originally Posted by HughMirin View Post
    I cant really call her out because she doesnt know that I know shes been talking behind my back.

    She tells my friend and he tells me. I dont want to call her out and reveal that he's been telling me this info, because I dont want to ruin things between them.
    Ah I see.

    Well seeing that the whole process started when you did something "bad" to her but you've apologized and was forgiven, I think it'd be safe to try treating her like you did before. You may have hurt her feelings badly once, but you'll know better now right? She was annoying before, she's still annoying now but with more control. Avoiding her at the very least lets her have less control over you. Confronting her about the issue can be good or bad depending on how you do it. Tolerating her behavior now and getting consistently tired of it won't do you any good if you grow weary of it. However, if you suddenly started treating her like you did before, maybe your positions will be shifted. Whatever you choose to do, do it without indecisiveness and stick to it.

    Personally, I think you ignoring her for six days is good given 0Rooster0's response. It'll give her less opportunity to misinterpret your actions, creates less drama, while giving yourself and her the time to miss each others' company and also let the drama diminish. Sometimes people just need a break from each other.


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