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Thread: Need an outside opinion on going steady

  1. #1
    somethingaweful is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need an outside opinion on going steady

    Me and this girl have been hanging out for a month or so. I recently asked her if she wants to go steady and she responds with 'i have to think about it.' I tell her no you tell me right now and you arent leaving til I get an answer.

    Shes only had 2 bf's before and both brokeup with her because of distance from going to different schools and she said shes doesnt want it to happen again. Since I didnt get an answer right away I ask her if there is another guy 'I feel like I have a right no know' She says there isnt one and than asks me the same question. Later that night she asks me if I really do like her, and I tell her shes an idiot.

    Anyways she leaves without giving me an answer I and tell her she has 24 hrs. She txts me at 9:30pm the next day with 'neither' I dont respond at all and than at midnight she txts me that she saw me out at a bar as I was walking past the window.
    I feel like she likes me but apparently doesnt want a bf because of past relationships, which I dont buy.

    What do you guys think?

  2. #2
    topgunningit's Avatar
    topgunningit is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need an outside opinion

    Rule of thumb: Guys never ask a female if they want to be in a relationship, women normally signal or state that they want to be in one.

    If you really want a relationship, and she doesnt then tell her you are not the type to be in a relationship without a commitment. Then you slowly withdraw from her and move on to something else. She will more than likely come crying back but it would be up to you at that point to say 'yes' or 'no'.


    I dont know how old you are but some guys would say you are in the perfect relationship.
    ------------------------------------

  3. #3
    somethingaweful is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need an outside opinion

    she did bring it up the weekend before, I told her lets give it a few more dates than decide. But I actually really would like to start a relationship so I asked her, I dont know why she is acting this way now.

  4. #4
    Gemini is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need an outside opinion

    Hey man. First of all I have to agree with topgun on that one.

    She's probably acting this way because you said "no, tell me now, you're not leaving until I get an answer". I'm all for being assertive, but that's almost aggressive. She probably felt threatened and is now unsure if she wants the relationship if that's how you're going to act.

    I'd suggest in future interactions you demonstrate what would make you a good bf, subtly of course, in a similar fashion to how you would DHV.

    Good luck, man.

    : GeMiNi :&

  5. #5
    somethingaweful is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need an outside opinion

    Demonstrate I would be a good bf by taking her to fun things? Or by telling her the fun times I have without her? I dont want to come off all AFC'ish. Im still not entirely sure if shes seeing anyone else and dont want to end up the other guy.

  6. #6
    Suave Kino's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need an outside opinion

    Whoa man, flag on the play. Excessive Neediness; 15 yards and loss of down. You came off as brutish and super needy. Relax, hope you didn't freak her put withyour tantrum and let her come to you.

    Quote Originally Posted by somethingaweful View Post
    Demonstrate I would be a good bf by taking her to fun things? Or by telling her the fun times I have without her? I dont want to come off all AFC'ish. Im still not entirely sure if shes seeing anyone else and dont want to end up the other guy.

  7. #7
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need an outside opinion

    I'm with Gemini on this. There's a difference between being dominant and domineering. And you acting that way probably made her think that jumping onto a relationship with you would be risky if you are the jealous type. Have the mindset that "other guys just make me look better" and it will help with your jealousy. Also try to focus on changing her mood, not her mind. If you look at the underlying tone of your conversation with her you can see that there was alot of discomfort. Even if you feel her mixed signals are wrong, it doesn't matter if the underlying emotion is negative. This isn't meant to be logical. None of it makes sense.....at first. Until you come from a point of understanding how emotions work.

  8. #8
    Gemini is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need an outside opinion

    Batman is right with the emotions part. You have to remember that every emotion you directly make her feel at first, she is going to associate with you. Think about people you like to be around, most of these people will make you feel good, that's why you like being around them. Why do you think funny people are so popular? Because they make is laugh and when we laugh we feel good.

    Let us know how it turns out.

    : GeMiNi :&

  9. #9
    somethingaweful is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need an outside opinion

    well I forgot to mention in my previous posts that we work together. Adjacent cubicles and eat lunch together almost everday. So cutting contact isnt really an option without coming across as a butthurt pussy.

    She asked me today why I didnt respond to her 'neither' text and I told didnt know what she meant. Than she asked if she could explain it and I told her I'd rather not talk about it at work since its kinda weird.

    Shes still interested but I thought it was a sure deal, even kinda broke it off with another girl. You guys recommend I ask her out on fri/sat? Or just do my own thing?

  10. #10
    Fun_Guy is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need an outside opinion

    Batman and Gemini know their deal, get her attracted to ya be fun not funny, it'll work out for ya if it doesn't end well then its not the end


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