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  1. #1
    Hansen is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default What to talk about - I am good with openers.

    Hello

    I'm confident and not that afraid of approaching women. I usually use a good opener (usually a compliment to show my intention) which get them interested and curious. However, I always fail about 1-3 minutes into the interaction. And I know the reason why I fail. Its because i talk about too daily and common things. What do you work with, did you travel, hobbies, how their evening have been and so on. The conversation flows nice and I try to use som body contact during it. But their interest always dies and Im sure it is because the conversation topics are dull.

    Im not a joker who can make the girls laugh hysterically for minutes. So my question is. What should you really talk about? Just some general tips and suggestions would help a lot.

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: What to talk about - I am good with openers.

    Alot of the books out there cover this topic pretty well. I just read "The Natural" By Richard La Ruina, which is another great book about general pickup. Also Juggler covers this topic well, I would suggest reading his book "How to Meet and Connect with Women".

    Instead of asking what she does, try to make it a game, make a guess. "Let me guess, you're an artist traveling around (location) trying to find your inspiration for your next great piece?"
    Whatever she actually is its a playful way to introduce the topic and start to have some fun with it.

    La Ruina has a good chapter on the topic of conversation tho, and he says you want to extrapolate on their answers and focus on 3 aspects to think about their answers - Character traits, motivations, and emotions. That is - you want to ask yourself -
    "what type of a person would do this?"
    "why might she do this?"
    "how might she feel about this?"
    and go from there. Your goal in the pickup is to learn about what type of a person they are, get them talking about their emotions. An artist can see the beauty and detail of life. A business woman may be driven and motivated. Maybe she's adventurous?

    Also have a few backup topics, you could always go back to "Tell me what you're passionate about?"
    Or lead the question, "I like a girl with a real sense of adventure, tell me what motivates you?"

    Also learn the cube game, its pretty solid psycology excercise to learn about someone, girls always love it.
    "So my friend taught me this neat little visual excercise to learn about other people, close your eyes for a second and..."

    I couldn't find a forum post for the cube game but heres an external link that seems to explain the steps pretty well. Read over this and practice it once or twice with your freinds, its great to have in your backup
    The Cube Game
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: What to talk about - I am good with openers.

    I made a post recently on my ideas on how to engage her. Maybe this can help.

  4. #4
    PUAatmosphere's Avatar
    PUAatmosphere is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: What to talk about - I am good with openers.

    I agree with what The Red Baron was saying about making it into a game. While searching the net for answers to this very question, I came across someone marketing an "amazing course" that would "Make Small Talk Sexy." Having never heard of the guy, I did not buy his product, but I liked the general principle and I've explored this in my own experimenting.

    "What do you work with? did you travel, hobbies, how their evening have been and so on. "

    Here is a quote from Eric Disco's Approach Anxiety blog that shows exactly how to turn routine questions into fun teasing and banter:

    “You look like you do something creative,” I say. “Don’t tell me. I’m gonna guess. I’m really good at this. I’m psychic.”
    I tell her to give me her hand. I guess that she does performance art. Something with glue and rubber.
    She says that I’m close. She says that she does do some performance, works with film. She’s an actor. And a model.
    “Wow, a model in New York City,” I say sarcastically. “What a surprise.”
    She turns away from me and looks toward the opposite end of the train.
    Then, two seconds later, she turns back to me.
    “Sarcasm from a hipster in New York, what a surprise,” she says.
    I used to think that only AFCs ask about "the resume questions," but it's really just how you ask about them. She tell you that she's from Alaska. "Oh, I know you Alaska girls. You're nothing but trouble." (roll off) The more sets that you open, the more feedback that you are going to get about what feels natural for you and what gets you the results that you are looking for.


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