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Thread: Tell me if i'm in the friendzone or not???

  1. #1
    thatblingring is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Cool Tell me if i'm in the friendzone or not???

    First off, Hearing people talk about the friend zone, I always laughed and didn't realize the intense amount of pain and blazing hell they were going through.

    Here's my story: So there's this girl (Yeah, cliche!), but yeah this girl right?, We met in college, and it's 3 months I've known her now, and I didn't feel anything for her the first month, then in-between the second month, she started getting so ******* beautiful I couldn't help myself. Oh btw, when we first met she was in a complicated LDR (Long-Distance Relationship), anyway lemme just break things down even more,

    First Month: We met, became close, I didn't feel anything towards her and she didn't feel anything for me, in that aspect. But we only grew closer. We'd hungout alot, alone, and I'd flirt with her. She was always saying how confident I was and stuff, I mean I do ok with the ladies. Nyways...

    Second Month: She was in a bad place coz of studies and her complicated relationship, I was there for her, I wasn't being a doormat though. I'd always make a funny situation out of everything and things went alright. We'd grown even closer. And we were pretty physical, I mean I always put my arm around her, hold her hand alot, she'd hug me and kisses on the cheek, whenever we were watching TV at my place on the couch, my arm was ALWAYS around her, she was ok with everything, but she didn't look at me in that way. Then, One blessed night, I dreamt of her, and from that next morning, whenever I looked at her, she was just so beautiful, but I didn't say anything coz she was still in this LDR! I was waiting until she ended it, which she would later do. My feeling for her grew intense daily. She had alot of guy friends, and I obviously wasn't the only one who found her attractive, but I was like first in line. So then one day she tells me, as she was over at one of her guy-friends place, he kisses her, and she goes with it coz of the current status of her relationship, so she needed something. Upon hearing the news, I couldn't help myself, I felt so hurt that a blind person could read it on my face, she immediately asked what was wrong, then I just came out with it right then, told her how I felt about her, as as fate would have it, She gave me the speech, I just want to be friends, and that I was like a brother to her BLAH BLAH ******* BLAH! Anyway things became awkward that day alone. The next day we were back to normal, like I'd said nothing, we were still physical, joked, flirted and stuff, but at least she'd known. She felt guilty about what she'd done with the guy, but she didn't end it, They'd become friends with benefits. Yeah I know, alot happened in one month alone.

    Third Month: It hit me like the planes hit the world trade center. I'd been friendzoned. I immediately went to do my research, and yeah it applied to me, but I wasn't being a nice guy, well not too-nice, I was all-cool and confident and looked good and ****. Talked to girls and such, but the thing is, this girl was on my mind 24/7, even when I hung out with other girls, she was the only one I could think of. Oh by now, she'd ended her relationship and even gotten more intimate with the other guy and is getting strong feelings for him, and they'd probably had sex, I'm still yet to confirm that. Anyway we're so close now that only the forces of hell could break our friendship. She dosen't tell me anything about her relationship or her friend with benefits coz she knows it'll only hurt me, and she knows I'm trying to get over her. If I find out that she did infact, have sex with this guy, it'll just crush my heart so bad I'll die from internal bleeding. But anyway now I don't know what to do, we're physical now, I'm thinking of maybe just kissing her and hoping for the best. One thing I can never do and shouldn't even be suggested is to walk away from this friendship. No. I can't and won't so there, that's out of the question.

    So after my boring story, somebody please help me out because it's not even funny at all, I actually think I'm in love with her which I hope to God not, but it could be the only possiblilty. Should I go for the kiss, and risk the friendship?, Should I try and make her jealous with other chicks? (Don't suggest that one coz it's not as easy as it sounds), I'm so confused, and hurt, and even more confused!

    I'm gonna start giving her some space, (Even though every second without her hurts as ****, yeah this is cheesy but it's true). But I'm gonna try, at least make her miss me or something. I don't know, my head is spinning as **** right now. Please, anything is appreciated! (Except walking away from the friendship, again, do not suggest that)

  2. #2
    Express27 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Tell me if i'm in the friendzone or not???

    The problem here is that you are so much lower value than her right now. She knows that no matter what you'll be there because she knows how you feel about her. You're too easy for her. I was in a similar situation just this year, and I completely iced her out. I saw her in January, and aside from her wishing me a happy birthday, I completely went cold on her until we ran into eachother at a party last month. At that point I continued icing her out at the party, displaying higher value in every situation possible. Eventually, I engaged her and kino'd her heavily the rest of the night whenever we interacted. I ended up kiss closing and making out with her. Now I am actively trying to avoid re-placing myself in a position of lower value and chasing her to much. It is really tough to do when you have strong feelings for a girl, but you are a pua and have to handle things as optimally as possible.

    My advice would be icing her out and when you do see her, kino and escalate sexually whenever possible. Don't waste time... k-close her as soon as possible when you re-engage. Go out and meet other girls and hang out with your boys. You have one-itis right now and you need to realize that there are a lot of girls and your world shouldn't be pre-occupied with this one who is probably doing another guy. She should be chasing after you!! Get your value back and you still might be able to salvage this chick.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Tell me if i'm in the friendzone or not???

    You'll never get anything you aren't willing to walk away from.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  4. #4
    sinister's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell me if i'm in the friendzone or not???

    Bro your deep in that friendzone if you were crying shoulder during her break up. You might as well buy her hygiene products for her.

    But your in luck. The goal here needs to be clear you want to Fark her but not be in love with her?

    Step One: Freeze Out for 2 weeks at least. Let her get a little deeper with her new toy. Then BAM come back with a vigor.

    Step Two: Boyfriend destroyer routines out the a$$. Learn them well.

    Step Three: Quit being that shoulder to cry on, based on your message you have been a doormat for a while and based off what you say there could have definitely been a ton of IOIs and you just missed them.

    Step Four: If girls arent a problem, move on sort of. Not like for ever, but for a time. Run a jealousy plotline too this will help.

  5. #5
    Gemini is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Tell me if i'm in the friendzone or not???

    Hey dude. To answer your question in the title of your post, yes, you have been friend-zoned, she said it.

    I think express has said it all really. Once she knows she's higher value before you have a string ranting relationship going on, the game is pretty much over and you lose. I think with what Express said, there may be some hope of saving this.

    Though I have another idea. Don't take this as solid advice because it's just something I thought of after I read your post. You suggested the idea of making her jealous with other girls. I like the idea of a jealousy plot line, I think it's suitable to your situation. But don't do it on a romantic front, she'll be like "so what I have this new bf". It's situational and you want her to want you. Women aren't just jealous of guys they like being with other girls. They're also jealous of close friends becoming close with others. I had a very close female friend a few years back and she got extremely jealous when I became close friends with this other girl. I'm currently very close friends with a girl at the moment and her sister is also now a big part of out usual social group. She started becoming jealous that we all especially me and my brother who she's also close with, we're becoming close with her sister.

    So I would suggest you for completely ice her out, I'll explain why in a minute, and minimalist te contact you have, don't be all close and flirty, don't talk to her as much etc. then get a new female friend that you become very close with. Then, when you see this girl, talk about how great this new friend is and how you do everything together. She will then want to have your undivided closeness back, but she too is just a friend and how can she beat that? . be sure to emphasise that there is no romantic relationship between you and the new friend, otherwise she'll be like "good for you" and happy you've moved on.

    Again, don't take this as solid advice, it's just a theory I developed on the spot, but might be worth a try.

    Good luck dude, keep us updated.

    £: GeMiNi :&

  6. #6
    thatblingring is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Tell me if i'm in the friendzone or not???

    I wasn't a crying shoulder after she broke up. I didn't even visit her. We just spoke on the phone and I consoled her. She knows I really don't care when she talks about her relationships and other guys.

    Guys, we're in college, and we have classes together, so I couldn't ice her out even if I wanted to.
    Come August, classes are over. She was planning to move in with me for the holidays (1 month), and I accepted, but now I'm thinking I should cancel it instead, so we give ourselves some space.

    And she's not the bright type, so she dosen't pick up on stuff quickly. TBH though, she could've been easy, I just missed all my chances. She's also kinda childish, as in if you scare her bad, she'll literally start crying outta fear.

  7. #7
    Gemini is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Tell me if i'm in the friendzone or not???

    Cody has put it plain and simple to be fair, you want the girl, Imyou have to be willing to risk losing her, but I can see thats difficult for you.

    You say you have classes together so you can't freeze her out. Untrue. The freeze out would be more effective that way as you have to be in the same place together.

    You're other option is to try and get past your one-itis. The best way to do this? As many PUAs will tell you, you just have to go with a few other girls and see if this one girl is still so precious.

    She's one girl out of over 6 billion on this planet. It's cliche, but I find all cliches hold some element of truth.

    £: GeMiNi :&

  8. #8
    thatblingring is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Tell me if i'm in the friendzone or not???

    After much consideration, I decided I'm just gonna strike while the iron is hot, and just plant one on her the next time she comes over. It might end with a slap across my face and her walking away, then again, it might not, but at least It'll give'er something to remember me with. It's one of those either brave or stupid things to do.

    We're both 19 btw. She's 2 months older.


    I'll keep you guys posted!

  9. #9
    sinister's Avatar
    sinister is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Tell me if i'm in the friendzone or not???

    Hey bro best wishes to you with just going for it. Just dont puss out. And dont do the nervous in then out then back in because if it is to be a success and you hesitate at all that will make it very awkward. But you have a game plan so stick to it.

    Keep the updates flowing on this one as I am very interested in how it turns out.

    Sinister

  10. #10
    surferdude is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Tell me if i'm in the friendzone or not???

    I think the freeze-out/jealousy plot line is a better idea than going for the kiss, since she has already labeled you as a friend.
    However, best of luck man and like sinister said "don't hesitate. Make your move with solid confidence".


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