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  1. #1
    PUAatmosphere's Avatar
    PUAatmosphere is offline PUA in Training
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    Default MLTR - Staying in the Game

    I'm looking for advice about "just seeing" a couple of different gals at the same time, setting up "friends with benefits" relationships or entering into "open relationships." I've read a couple of posts about this, and everything that I could find on Wikipedia. I don't want any kind of dishonesty. If everything progresses well with my current girls, I'll tell them in a couple of weeks that I'm not ready to see one girl exclusively.

    Time management was getting to be a challenge with setting up various "day 2s" in rapid succession. I like this quote from PUA Lingo:
    "I have 4 MLTRs right now. It is starting to eat into my work schedule."
    PUA Lingo website
    Being honest and respecting women is central to who I am. Reading this post made me decide that I need to sign up for these online forums and offer my two cents about being respectful and courteous to our lovely ladies: How to Sneak Around with Different Women by a guy on this forum

    I could never live by that guy's rules, so I found a different set of rules to abide by: Be Honest from Spark of Attraction

    I'm pursuing a couple of different gals at the same time:
    HB Neon, a gal that I met through my salsa class
    HB Geeky, a gal that I met online.

    For the time being, I've decided to friend-zone two others:
    Cray-cray, a mutual friend who is going through some personal struggles;
    Ecuador, a family friend who just got out of a serious relationship

    From June 15th to July 15th, I had six "day 2s" with five different girls. It was part of a challenge that I set for myself, and it definitely opened my eyes to some possibilities. However, this is uncharted territory for me. I've always only pursued one girl at a time. The closest that I came to mLTR was going on "first dates" with three different girls in a row. Even then, my intention was finding just one to focus my attention on.

    I'm going to use mLTR to represent all of the possible open relationship formats: open relationships, casually dating, friends with benefits, etc

    When do you bring up the idea of mLTR? Do you wait for her to bring it up? Or is it better to nip this issue in the bud and see if she's going to be okay with it? Currently I'm thinking to do it after seeing her for the fifth time.

    How do you bring up that you are just looking for mLTR rather than a committed relationship? HB Neon has already told me that she's open to friends with benefits, so I'm not concerned about her. I met HB Geeky through a dating website, so I'm not sure that she'll be open to this. I'm figuring that I just put it out there casually while talking about relationships and what not rather than make a big deal of it. This is just who I am.

    How do you actually manage the mLTRs? I'll divide this one into sub-points. I've found that even going on six "day 2s" in a period of 30 days was getting to cut into my schedule, so time management. I like introducing my friends to each other, so relating her to your social life. I tend to talk about people that I care about, so discussing other women with her.

    Thank you in advance for feedback on my posting and any insights.

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: MLTR - Staying in the Game

    Thank you for opening this with your intent to stay honest, you can do it easily if you are open and approach it right

    I usually bring it up on a second date, but ALWAYS before you've slept with them, unless you sleep with them the first night then the discussion is not as much of a priority

    All you have to say is look, I like you a lot and I want to see where this goes, but I'm in date mode right now and I am dating other girls too
    After you have that discussion you're free, you do not have to re-address the issue again, youve told her you're seeing other girls so you don't want to bring it up or rub it in

    The key tho, you want to do it early. If you wait till the 5th date you run the risk of her feeling misled up to that point. You address it before it crosses that and they are all cool with it

    My buddy put a post on this after I helped him on the same topic, read this it covers the approach step by step
    http://www.puaforums.com/dating-advi...exclusive.html

    Now as far as time management that's up to you, jus spend some time with each of your favorites. I tend not to date more than 3 girls at a time, if I have more I kinda let my least favorite ones drift off. You spend time with someone because you enjoy your time with them, so how you balance your time is up to you and your priorities

    Good luck let me know if you need more
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    PUAatmosphere's Avatar
    PUAatmosphere is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: MLTR - Staying in the Game

    Sorry to say that I haven't had an opportunity to implement this with either fo the HBs Seeing as HB Neon has already told me that she's not looking for a relationship, I figure that it's gonna be easier with her. It'd be great to meet a girl who is the whole package, but until then I'm going to maintain an honest rotation. Some of my wings are working toward a similar goal.

    HB Geeky is great because she share my spiritual/religious values, demonstrates an incredible amount of authenticity and doesn't play the BS games. That being said she neither dances nor goes out clubbing. She has relative visiting from out-of-town, so we won't meet up until next week.

    HB Neon is great because she has high energy, likes dance and knows how to party. She's fun to tease and an expert at playing all of these sh1t test & neg-warfare games. She bailed on our last salsa night and hasn't responded to my voice mail, so we'll see where we are at on Monday when I see her at our next salsa class.

  4. #4
    chet25's Avatar
    chet25 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: MLTR - Staying in the Game

    Red Baron's advice is solid, I've seen his work in person. I kind of took his approach and made it my way, because I didn't want too "date" but have feck buddies. Key is be totally direct with your intentions and be willing to discuss it with them. If you waver on it, it will make things awkward.

    I tend to use I find you sexually attractive and would like to continue it, but I do not see us dating long term as you don't meet quality X I seek in a partner. I respect if you want to turn this down a notch.


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