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  1. #1
    charliesheen92 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default need help with my state control, can't approach when i'm not feeling it

    This is something that holds me back from taking action, there are days when I can't be bothered talking to people. Normally I'm a very social person that makes people laugh, but on days when I'm depressed It's just contagious, all my negative mood just makes everyone uncomfortable, cause people can tell when I'm not myself very easily, all they have to do is look at me. I went through something personal in my life in january 2011, and I'm not going to use it as an excuse nor will I tell you what it was that happened to me, it's not fair to you guys, it's my problem. But ever since then I have days where I just don't feel like socialicing I like to be by myself when I'm in that state, so is there anything I can do to get into state so I can approach girls whenever I want, cause If I'm depressed they'l know right away. I'm not going to pretend that on good days I find it any easier to approach but at least when I'm in a good mood all I have to worry about is confidence not about "snapping out of my depression". Anyways, thanks for the help, I'm a realist I know we live in an every man for themself world, the world don't slow down for people's problems, and I want to take action, I'm willing to do whatever it takes trust me on that

  2. #2
    Gwkiller69 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: need help with my state control, can't approach when i'm not feeling it

    I have the same problem with state. I have to rely on it in order to socialize well. I rely on it too much, but I don't really know how to solve the problem. The only think I can think of that might work is a lifestyle change. Make a lifestyle for yourself that will make you be "in state" more often. In other words, a lifestyle that you enjoy, that makes you feel confident, successful and gives you the attitude of abundance. I'm going off to college in a month and plan to make that happen for me, although that might be difficult if you have firmly planted roots already that tie you to a certain job/house/negative people.

  3. #3
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    Cody is offline PUA All Star (RETIRED)
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    Default Re: need help with my state control, can't approach when i'm not feeling it

    Hey Guys,

    You make it seem like your frame is an on/off switch, which it isn't. Don't get me wrong; I have also been--and still am-- clinically depressed for a long time. You're right with the idea that it is a lifestyle, but instead of trying to incorporate game into your life, incorporate your life into game.

    That's how you become a natural.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  4. #4
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: need help with my state control, can't approach when i'm not feeling it

    I've had this issue before. And still have times where I'm just tired and don't much feel like it. What I like to do is throw on some "pump me up" music. Whether it's rock, pop, dance, whatever lifts your mood. NOT love songs obviously lol. Then I would start to laugh HYSTERICALLY while thinking how retarded I look. (It helps me not take myself too seriously.) Scream a few "Woohoos!" and knock out 20 pushups and you will feel great!

  5. #5
    anelka112 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: need help with my state control, can't approach when i'm not feeling it

    state shifting.. in order to into that social mode you need to do a few approaches that go first as a warm up,without any expectations. try chatting up men and older ladies. great way to warm up for girls...

  6. #6
    Gwkiller69 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: need help with my state control, can't approach when i'm not feeling it

    Here's some things that help you get in-state when you need to:

    -Talking to lots of people in a short period of time. (That's important because getting into a deep conversation with a guy or religion or something won't do the trick, so keep it light).
    -Fast music that makes you want to hit the dance floor and jam, even if the dance floor is your room.
    - ALCHOHOL (easiest, but drinking to game girls is not a good thing to rely on. I actually once met a girl via facebook and took 2-3 shots of vodka right before to date to break the ice. Unless you have a really serious problem, I wouldn't recommend it.)

    Those are short term, but to actually become a natural(be in state almost all the time) you have to change your lifestyle and mentality.

  7. #7
    chet25's Avatar
    chet25 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: need help with my state control, can't approach when i'm not feeling it

    I struggle with this time from time when I don't have time to go out and game. Red Baron has helped me with this, just start by saying Hello to people with a smile on your face. You'll start having fun as you keep building up the momentum to break your mood.


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