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  1. #1
    babybirdsfunk is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Got a phone number from online dating, but no call back after.

    This is based on online interaction:
    I recently got a phone number from a girl I messaged back and forth with after about 3 messages. The conversation pace seemed to be going good, and I said something like, "you seem really nice and I'd like to call you sometime, messaging on here does't feel the same as talking in person." She replied with "yes, i agree " She gave me her name and number and I waited to call the next day. No answer, and a voicemail that was not set up to work. Tried an hour later, same thing. A couple hours later, I sent her a text saying it was me, asking how her day was, and to call when she got a chance. Still no reply. I saw she was online later that day, but I didn't try to message her back online, thinking that would seem too stalker-ish for one's days attempts.

    Im fairly new to the online dating scene and have been trying it for a few months now. I'm getting some replies now from about 10% of the girls I send messages to. About a month ago, I was still getting the same number of replies, but then the communication would stop between about 2 to 5 of my messages back to them, (possibly from not asking for a number or suggesting a date). So, I suppose I've possibly been improving my conversation pace with trial and error, but still got a lot to learn.

    Bottom line, any pointers, advice, and constructive criticism would be welcome. Specifically on conversation pace/number of messages back and forth before asking for a phone number or a date, how to make the transition from emails to phone to date, and keep from getting blown off.

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Got a phone number from online dating, but no call back after.

    I'm not sure on advice but constructive criticism - 3 contact attempts probably blew your shot right there

    You could have called then sent one short message, but calling again and a message is a bit much

    That said - when you get the number, set up a date at the same time. Something neutral, coffee, comedy, or whatever. Then call or text to confirm
    Or at least have some date youve talked about, you want to plant a seed for your follow up, we have to do x, even if you dont have a time

    Best of luck, but to be honest I don't really get anywhere online
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    babybirdsfunk is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Got a phone number from online dating, but no call back after.

    Thanks for the reply. You're probably right about the 3 attempts being too many for most situations.

    What ended up happening was the girl, being very foreign, was too insecure/shy to speak on the phone at first due to her broken english. She ended up texting me back and forth later that night, saying she just got off work( around 12:30 or so). She didn't have a voice mailbox set up, because she didn't know how (apparently she's only been here from Columbia 2 months) which I helped set up when I went out with her. Long story short, I ended up banging her on the 2nd date (which was on the same day as the 1st date). I feel I got lucky being the right guy around at the right time for this girl, and when I found out what the situation was, I was able to reassess the reasons why shy wasn't responding the way I thought she would.

    This is the first success I've had online and it was a slump buster for me, so I feel I was just lucky. I know I've still got a lot to learn. However, some of the techniques I've learned from information sources like this forum, helped me feel that I knew how to handle myself better when I did finally meet up and go out with her.

    I will continue to look for help on this forum for the other 98% of women that don't come as easy as this one did, but thanks to all in this community helping guys make sense of this sometimes confusing and complicated dating process.

  4. #4
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Got a phone number from online dating, but no call back after.

    I've had several girls flake after a couple days & having their number.
    It's just a part of life.

    Although, the first time or two that it happens, is a bit disheartening for sure! (Especially when the girls are smokin' hot!)

    But trust me, it happens to all of us. All you can do is laugh it off & keep moving on.



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.


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