Hi guys I just need to ask you a question. We have a weekend house where I spend all the summers since I was born. Here's a girl, we know each other like 8 years. The first year we met (age of 13-14) we hanging out with friends, drinking and so on finally we were kissing then the other day was the end of the summer and she was leaving. Since the next year from that we did not have any physical contact, we've became friends. She had boys, I had girls, we had parties together. But during that I was always feeling some kind of attraction to her but I was never really showing it. I did not feel the way how to do it - maybe because of that friendzoned thing or what. I don't know if she felt the same but I guess she did because the first year we were kissing you know. We also had a conversation last year when we were talking about that we should have had sex with each other but we both agreed that we are too good friends and it would be strange...
So now we were spending a few days again together and my friends were saying they saw that she is crazy for me. You should know that she is a proud girl not really showing her emotions anyway. I was also feeling something that they were talking about, she gave me lots of IOIs. So yesterday was her last day here, we were drinking together with friends. We were having a really good time I felt her attraction. She had to go home for a few beers (2 minutes walk) and I offered to go with her. I thought that this was the last opportunity I should did something. I also had the feeling that the reason why we are going to her is to make something happen and she thinks the same. I became really nervous and shy, because eg. grab and kiss her was something I couldn't imagine to do. I felt that our relationship is just not like that, althought we have the attraction. So nothing happend at her place. We were there at a dark house together and then we came back with beers. She looked like she lost her fun after we rejoined the company so that's why I was almost surely think that she was expecting something.
My friends tell me I am lame. I agree with them but the obstacle I had in myself was so huge I couldn't overcome. What should I've done? Am I really such a lame, or did you also have situations like that? What should I do to not let it happen next time?
Anyway she is just a girl I want for a long time and I had that chance and screwed up that's why it makes me think about it. It's a huge obstacle and I want to remove it.
(I don't know if I posted at the right place, did not find better one)