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Thread: Overcoming AA "The Complete How To"

  1. #1
    Desire911's Avatar
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    Default Overcoming AA "The Complete How To"

    Approach Anienxty is part of our DNA as men and I believe that whether your an AFC or an MPUA I don't think it ever really leaves us.

    For me I try and use this to force me into "The Zone" where my inhibitions are dropped and all that's left is the real me!Whenever I feel AA I ask myself what do I fear more? rejection? or going home without any K/F Closes? because I was too much of a pussy to say "Hi" to a girl.

    The last few times I have gone out to pick up my performance has dipped and it made me wonder is everyones pickup like a sportsmans form, as in it comes and goes with peaks in between?

    I realise if I try to hard women can see this and it appears desperate and I fail to even approach the next girl/set let alone number close, but I wanted to learn why because I like to disect my days perfomrance and analise what I did wrong and at what point did the game changer occur so tht I can learn from the experience and be more prepared and more succesful next time.

    I understood that a lot of the women I meet know that they may never see me again and I also realised they recognised I knew this too, so whenever I TRIED to hard and appeared to eager to qualify myself to them it was a turn off. Yet if I negged and stuck to my CANED game script I appeared more mysterious to them and it made them think "Wow I may never see this guy aagain" and it would make them want to maximise every minute with me.

    So the moral of this is I guess to never appear more than you are, don't fear failure or regret what you may be leaving behind but look forward to what you might find.

    DESIRE.............. .................... .................... .................... .................... ..............
    My mantra is simple
    Can I own it? Can I fuck it? Can I kill it?


    DESIRE


  2. #2
    Penticle is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Overcoming AA "The Complete How To"

    I think the fact that we can feel the emotion anxiety is part of our DNA, but I don't agree that specifically "approach anxiety" is.

    In my opinion, approach anxiety is based on the level of emotional investment you put into (or expect to) the interaction. The word in itself (investment) is an expectation that you will see a return at the risk of losing something. In the case of meeting women, if your emotionally investing into the interaction and you do not get the return you expect, the only other option is to receive a loss, in this case, your self esteem/confidence. When you feel AA, I believe this is the feeling that is going on in your head.

    Try to bear with me now and hopefully what I am about to say will make sense.....if you dont invest in a house, can you lose money on the investment? Do feel anxiety about the house that you haven't invested in? No. If you don't put an emotionally investment into a girl (in the opening and attraction stage), can you get an emotional loss? For me personally, the answer is no.

    For me, I put little investment into my approaches, casual comments here, maybe tink a girls glass as she walks by, or make a comment about her and then just go on with what I am doing. Having no expectations on my non investment, makes me do and say these things because it makes me feel good and its fun (for me) not because I am expecting anything. Ironically, this means no AA, and girls don't feel the pressure that you need something from them, there is no expectation, so the little investment makes them feel comfortable to join in with some banter for the fun of it, not because one of you is trying to get anything more out of it at this point. If it doesn't strike a conversation then, later when she sees you again, trust me, so often she will now start initiating a conversation with you because she feels she can without being uncomfortable, because lets face it, she is out to have fun and meet people to, and why wouldn't she strike a conversation with a cool guy like you who everyone loves. If you can make comments with little investment for the sake of you having fun and your own amusement, that in itself is a massive DHV which is communicated really strongly, with very little effort and everyone can see it clearly not just the person you are talking to.

    When people joins in on some banter, you don't need routines and DHV stories either. You can banter about meaningless sh1t that comes natural to you and its the fact that your having fun and communicating with confidence and ease is what demonstrates value, much more than any DHV story you can come up with because its demonstrated in your behaviour, not some story you have told that from other peoples perspective may or may not be true.

    Natural game is where its at

    I hope this makes sense and I would love to hear other peoples opinions on this.

  3. #3
    Desire911's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overcoming AA "The Complete How To"

    Personally the more I expect to pickup the higher my AA overwhelms me.
    I think some pressure is healthy and it forces you to act, but I agree tottally man it defiantely about be in the moment, girls love that and respond to it because they see you are saying this is me and I don't give a shit.

    I told a women today in a book store I was spiderman here for a sigining and would she like me to sign her book she pissed herself laughing we exchanged random banter and when I was at the checkout paying she asked if my spidersuit had pockets for cash lol, I said "yep and there should be enough for some coffee if you fancy it?"

    We spoke for over 2 hours and she missed her train home as she left I manged to n/close, so thanks for the reply. It obvious but too many of us fail to live in the present we are often to occupied with the future and so I'm going to remind myself in the future it's all about going with the flow and expecting nothing but to enjoy muself.
    My mantra is simple
    Can I own it? Can I fuck it? Can I kill it?


    DESIRE


  4. #4
    bighugewildRicky's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overcoming AA "The Complete How To"

    Quote Originally Posted by Penticle View Post

    Try to bear with me now and hopefully what I am about to say will make sense.....if you dont invest in a house, can you lose money on the investment? Do feel anxiety about the house that you haven't invested in? No. If you don't put an emotionally investment into a girl (in the opening and attraction stage), can you get an emotional loss? For me personally, the answer is no.
    After having read the Red Queen and Neil Strauss' books, I do believe that AA is hardwired into our DNA. Some men just feel it more strongly than others, either due to their unique brain chemistry or their thoughts.

    The thought process you have chosen is brilliant. Having no real expectation frees you from emotional investment, and thus, from AA.

    I definitely think that we must practice useful states of mind in the field so that they become more natural to us. The "don't care" method has worked for me in the past, but I still struggle to maintain proper emotional control when dealing with an especially hot girl or perhaps if I have been approached and caught off guard.

  5. #5
    Sandrager is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Overcoming AA "The Complete How To"

    Quote Originally Posted by bighugewildRicky View Post
    After having read the Red Queen and Neil Strauss' books, I do believe that AA is hardwired into our DNA. Some men just feel it more strongly than others, either due to their unique brain chemistry or their thoughts.

    The thought process you have chosen is brilliant. Having no real expectation frees you from emotional investment, and thus, from AA.

    I definitely think that we must practice useful states of mind in the field so that they become more natural to us. The "don't care" method has worked for me in the past, but I still struggle to maintain proper emotional control when dealing with an especially hot girl or perhaps if I have been approached and caught off guard.
    having no expectation and being yourself being confident and not worrying about the outcome is best. this is why women find men in relationships attractive. when we are talking we are being ourselves and confident , not emotionally investing or being needy. There is no reason to since you are committed.

    exactly live in the moment and just let things flow, don't force it so much but use the tools you are learning to guide you.

    The point is have fun and not worry so much. what will happen will happen and try to learn from it, continuous improvement

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Overcoming AA "The Complete How To"

    for all you guys struggling with AA check this link out!
    http://www.puaforums.com/how-approac...aa-mision.html
    i think that AA affects pua's of all skill levels and it is something that can only be overcome by means of social experience

  7. #7
    Penticle is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Overcoming AA "The Complete How To"

    AA effects PUA's who put on acts and behaviours such as routines and listening to what other people tell them instead of trusting themselves and going for it. When you trust yourself and fuck anyone who doesnt like you, AA is gone completely. If you put on an act or follow a routine someone tells you, that in itself is hiding who you really are, if your hiding who you are, your instinctively saying your not good enough, if you think your not good enough, you think she is more important than you and therefore care about what she thinks. If you follow how you feel and are confident about yourself, other peoples opinions of you dont matter...... work on being natural and stop following routines they only mess with your head in the long run and dont build true confidence.

  8. #8
    Penticle is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Overcoming AA "The Complete How To"

    It applies to puas of all levels because puas of all levels rely on stories, behaviours and other things which arent themselves and are seeking approval from the girl. Which shows even if you practice at not being yourself to get a girl to like you, you dont build true confidence about who you REALLY are.

  9. #9
    Sandrager is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Overcoming AA "The Complete How To"

    very good advice Penticle and is very true......is better to use the stories and routines as examples instead of using them word for word. is better to use your ownstories since you experienced it you will express more feeling and the woman will feel it.

  10. #10
    Tanktop is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Overcoming AA "The Complete How To"

    something that has helped me lately with day game and approaches is too visual something i was scared of at first. The first thing that pops into my mind with girls is the fear of rejection or people laughing at me. We all argue with ourselves in our head at some point. But what works for me is to think about snowboarding in my life. There was times i was scared shitless standin ontop of peaks riding lines that no one else has touched,. (Backcountry gnarly cliff lines, avalanche hazard, all sorts of natural dangers) all those thoughts i felt when looking down the hill going this could all go wrong, injury possibly death. Either way i was atop of the peak and i hiked all the way up there and i had to ride down eventually. Just mustering up the courage and proper positive talk is what allowed me to get down. I knew i possessed the skill to ride it, i charted my line and had a visual of which route and how to manuever it as safely as possible, now i just had to do it. Theres a point where you know what to do and acting on it is all that needs to be done. Yah i could possibly die or get injured (rejected bya girl) but what happens when everything goes as planned. Its a self accomplishment that you did which only reassures yourself. If you totally screw up with girls luckily you can sit back and think hey i could have gone a different approach next time. Just like my snowboarding i can always take a different line if deemed necassary. It comes down to risk/reward and people respect that i have found whether you muff it up or not. How many athletes have taken the shot in the final game and missed? millions. its what you do from there. practice, re-assess, and commit to getting better. Either way you still gain something whether it be number close, an f-close , or you just walk away with an expirience that you learned from


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