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Thread: Major Approach Anxiety

  1. #1
    Chewbacca is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Major Approach Anxiety

    So I have read all these helpful tips and suggestions on this forum for how to man up and approach girls but I always freeze up and don't do anything about it. I always kick myself and think about "what if?"

    I absolutely hate being rejected and I have a hard time getting out of my comfort zone. I hardly ever initiate conversation unless someone talks to me first. I have a very hard time maintaining conversation and it gets to the point of being awkward with girls. I feel like I am way behind the learning curve when it comes to talking to girls.

    Another thing I should mention is that I have a hard time thinking outside the box and trying to be creative with humor. It takes me a while to process what a person says, read body language, and I also worry about how others view me. I come off as too nice and get stuck in friends zones to say the least.

    Since I have a hard time with thinking outside the box I think of pua game as a script where I need the perfect opener to get the girl instead of letting the conversation flow. I think too much instead of just winging it basically.

    What are some good steps to take to overcome these obstacles? Would pua training or watching wingmans be the best option?

  2. #2
    bobat6 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Major Approach Anxiety

    You get AA because you wait more than 3 seconds to approach. - if when you see a girl you like, you just say a simple 'hi', AA won't happen.
    There is no need of canned openers, simply because no Opener is going to make a girl fall for you if you don't keep her interested and attracted to you after you open..

    just remember, whats the worst that can happen? she rejects, so what?

    when i Approach A Girl and she rejects me, i will still feel better, because
    1) i won't hate myself the next day (like you are saying you do) for not knowing if i had a chance or not..
    2) i had the balls which almost all guys didn't in that club (and even though i got rejected, they were jealous of me approaching)
    3) when you get rejected, you learn!

    to overcome the AA, there's nothing to do except practice, what i did, was play a game with it,
    "Either Approach or Pay"
    your friend, chooses a girl for you, you MUST go talk to her immediately, and if you don't, you have to pay him a fixed amount agreed before, or a drink or anything you like, and then do the same for him - its the only method i used to defeat AA

    Remember fear of loss, is bigger than fear of rejection..

    Note: At first, approach HB6/7, dont go for hb10's and work yourself up to them, little by little..
    hope i helped a little
    The Worst thing I can be is the same as everybody else. I'd Hate that!

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Major Approach Anxiety

    bobat6 definitely gave some great advice...

    Here are a few other things I've realized along the way when I start getting AA myself, and some tips I use to snap out of it:

    1: There is no perfect opener. Just to prove a point to myself I used "Dog Crap" to open a girl last week. LOL! You can read my field report here.

    2: It helps to warm up a bit by just saying "Hello" to people for a short time before you start approaching. I just casually exchange pleasantries with random people before I go to a club or wherever I plan on meeting girls. Then, I'm used to talking to people & it lessens the anxiety.

    3: As soon as I approach, the anxiety goes away. Even if it's been 2 minutes & I've already started to talk myself out of approaching by making excuses. But if I don't approach, the anxiety becomes stronger. Once I realized that, it started making a huge difference.
    It's like jumping into a swimming pool; knowing that the water is going to be cold at first (or just assuming it will be) makes you hesitant of jumping in.
    Then when you finally "take the plunge" you have nothing to be anxious about. And sometimes, you find out the water is perfect & it's exhilarating! Approaching is the same way & the effects are almost identical.

    4: I know I've already been rejected plenty of times in the past, but I'm just fine. It hasn't hurt me in any way, so I really have nothing to be afraid of. So, I just have to remind myself of that & "jump in".

    5: I owe it to the women to introduce myself to them, because after all, I AM the coolest Mo-Fo in the room! It would be selfish & unfair of me to deny them that opportunity! heehee!!
    I think about all the other schmucks that are gonna be using cheesy pickup lines, & boring them with stupid questions all night. That means, they're going to be SOOOO glad that I chat them up when I do. In fact, they WANT me to approach them.

    6: Don't be "outcome dependent". Meaning- don't go out with the goal of picking up a girl; go out with the intention of just meeting & talking to a few of them. Have fun! The rest falls into place if you can just do that much.

    Once I start telling myself these things, I start laughing at myself. And when I'm laughing my mood is elevated & I feel great.
    When I feel great, I project it through confident, relaxed, natural body language; then it's totally game on!!

    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

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